Potluck thead

A single potato.

home-made pretzels, some fruit punch, cups, napkins

I would just sneak the best looking plate off the table when nobody is looking and place it back when everybody is looking. Hopefully the one who made the plate was taking a crap.

It's the only way to show off my cool ninja skills and faggy naruto forehead protector.

Get the fuck out of here

Bring a box of trash bags. Your hosts will be grateful when it comes time to clean up.

Myself

A container of Costco cookies, the one with chocolate chip and white macadamia cookies.

Deviled eggs

40 pounds of bananas

Potato salad

That's only one serving.

a half empty box of tic-tacs and some Steel Reserve in a powerade bottle.

Deep-fried smelt

>powerade bottle
relax mr. fancy pants. just use the empty liquor store bag like a normal person.

Grew up going to a Southern Baptist Church.
A lot of people get the wrong idea and reply to that with: "oh that seems so cool, with all that music and dancing and ooga booga".
No.
It was "you can tap one foot to the music, but don't tap both feet becauce that would be dancing heh heh heh."... But really, don't dance.
Potlucks most Sundays after service. If it matters, it was the 80's and I was a pretty picky eater (was I a picky eater because I didn't like shitty food?). Holy Lord Jesus. The food was exactly as bad as you would think. All of the "do Americans really do this?" threads times wut. Canned X with creamed Y, topped with Aunt Myrna's dried semblance of a vegetable and baked.
All of the desserts which should have been great for a kid where fucked with mini marshmallows and bits of canned fruit. Chocolate didn't exist I guess.
So all of these terrible people that you just had to suffer through adult church service with are now cunting around eating shitty food and I JUST WANT TO GO HOME ffs it's my weekend away from school and I have to deal with this shit.

So of course me and my friend went into the church classrooms during this time and drew dicks on all the jesus pictures and ate all the nilla wafers in the nursery rooms. Favorite was changing the scripture on a drawing from "even a child is know by his doings" to "even a child is known by his dongs".
Yeah, not a fan of potlucks.

probably sausage rolls or lasagne

Pepperoni pizza

Ta med nok for meg!

Pecan pie or meatballs. Two things everyone loves to see at a potluck.

>he didn't go to the potluck purely for the old man who would make and fry cinnamon sugar donuts right there in the shitty little church kitchen

RIP Mr. Schontz. I dunno if it's just nostalgia, but I still haven't had a better donut.Only ones that came close were some cider donuts from a roadside stand in Maryland. I think it's because he used actual goddamned tallow.

Tiramisu

You're definitely invited.

...

Homemade canned potatoes.

>he didn't go
I didn't have an option.
I'll bet that the fresh fried dough tasted awesome, like fresh fried dough.
We didn't have shit like that, we had dishes that people had cooked at least 2 hours ago (pre-service). It was Aunt Myrnah's shit IRL. And I don't mean that I'm from down south. This was shit happening in mid WA. Wenatchee to be specific.

My guitar
Instead of eating you can all sit in a circle and listen to me play

Sliced onions for people to put on top of the other potluck dishes.

I try to ruin diets as much as possible at work. There's 75% women here and most of them are dieting. You'd think some ridiculous over the top tasty tier fried dessert bullshit would get them to cheat but they're used to this stuff. If I ever bring in bread (baked fresh in the morning), they flip shit and it's gone in minutes. I also bring in butter, jam, honey, or cheese with it as well. Carbs are key, they can't help themselves.

D E V I L I S H

Hot sauce, to put on everyone else horrid dishes that I'd be semi forced to eat.

sausage gratin.

it's easy. grate some potatoes, brown some jimmy dean, mushrooms, onions - grate some cheese, crack some eggs. toss in some tarragon. 350 for 45 minutes. Make some dough, and you got a legit quiche.

aithre don't go, or bring cheap shit nobody like so you don't get invited in those parasite gathering anymore.

My new years resolution is always to be nicer to the people I work with. So i bring a dozen oreo topped double chocolate boston cremes (~900 calories) from dippin donuts to the HR office on January 2nd.

They deserve it for not being whole food vegans :-)

Chad's cock is all mine >:3

What everybody else will bring: coleslaw.

fuck off

How do you know the dimensions of that box?

Tiny frikadeller and maybe a cold dipping sauce for them. I'd make them a little smaller than golfballs.
They're basically just fried pork meatballs but they're delicious.

...

i have a potluck at work today.

i brought a fifth of rum.

1x appetite!

Guys, my BLT Pinwheels will knock your socks off

I looked at the contents which come in a narrow range of sizes.

Because mixed salads don't exhibit self-similarity, numbnuts.

>Get dunkin donuts box
>Put a vegatable tray in it
>Take out whatever dip came with it
>Leave it in the break room

reminds me of a story ive greentexted before

>friend throws potluck drinking party
>bring family size bag of chips and a container of dip
>two fatass friends of my friend excitedly take the chips from my hand as I enter the door
>I assume they will eat some chips then leave the rest on the table
>five minutes later I notice they've polished off the entire bag and container of dip
>fatasses

>hand food to fatasses
>expect them not to eat it all
that's on you

t. morbidly obese fatass

Jello salad is king (pic related) - a crust of pretzels and brown sugar, followed by a layer of cool whip or whipped cream mixed with sour cream or something like that, basically sweet/creamy/tangy is what you want, then a layer of jello with fruit

Otherwise:
Make cornbread in muffin tins so you can have a basket full of little muffin-shaped cornbreads

Potato salad

Coleslaw

Baked beans

Used to have them at my house every week. Never ate at them and always sat up in my room cuz I didn't wanna participate in making shit and eating other peoples food. Roommate used to make pb and j on Ritz crackers every time without fail. Don't know who was worse

>Go to potluck with a lasagna prepared using an old family recipe
>A lot of the items were clearly store bought or prepared from a boxed
>I even see what appears to be a Dominos pizza

Don't be fucking lazy or cheap if you're going to go to one.

obviously cookies.

> Make potato salad
> Use the right type of potato, start with lukewarm water and brought up to a simmer in order to cook them evenly and not turn to mush, take off heat when slightly underdone so the residual heat finishes cooking them
> Let them cool naturally before adding dressing
> Make a bomb ass dressing with lots of very meticulously minced red onion, dill, etc
> Taste and adjust seasoning while letting it chill 24 hours
> Bring masterpiece of potato salad to potluck

> Someone already put out two gallon containers of Safeway potato salad

BBQ Little Smokies & Beans

I'm that guy who brings a veggie trey from the clearance section of the grocers.

piggies in blankies, some plain and some cheesy

Looks tasty, good idea

I just bring a bag of chips and call it a day

Love these. You really can't go wrong

I sometimes make pic related and bring some Tostitos scoops

by the sound of it he did it cus he needed people to feed him

Bucket of KFC

We have a potluck next week and I'm bringing pic related, grilled chicken hearts. I mentioned that I eat them and they were all surprisingly curious to try them and suggested I bring some for the potluck

I would to with my trademark mac salad:
• 16oz Pasta (Macaroni w/ ridges, Cavatappi, Ditalini or similar)
• 6 Hard Boiled Eggs, Chopped
• 5-6 Small Gherkins Pickles, Diced (Sweet variety optional)
• 1 Stalk Celery, Diced
• 1/2 Lb. Cooked Bacon, Chopped
• 16oz Marzetti Original Slaw
• 1 Tbs Yellow Mustard
• 1/2 tsp Cayenne Pepper
• Salt & Black Pepper to Taste

Hard Boiled Eggs:
-Place eggs and cold water into a pan so they are covered by about an inch.
-Bring water to boil over high heat. Boil for 1 minute then remove from heat, cover and let sit for 10 minutes
-Put eggs into cold water to cool completely (Bowl with ice water or bowl with cold water running over them from sink. This will make peeling easier)

Pasta:
- Cook Pasta completely according to package directions in 4 quarts of water with 1 heaping Tbs salt
- Drain and rinse under cold water

Mac Salad:
- Add pickles, celery, bacon, mustard, cayenne, salt and pepper to cooked pasta
- Stir and let sit a couple minutes so flavors soak in
- Add slaw dressing and stir throughout
- Add eggs and stir without destroying eggs
- Let cool in refrigerator ideally for 4 hours to overnight

*If pasta is too dry, add warm water or mayo as needed

>Mac Salad™

You eat the grill?

So I guess he should have yanked the chips away from the other guests and yelled "mine" instead, huh, faggot?

Yeah...fucking retarded piece of shit

My go-tos are:

>pulled pork (real pulled pork, done on my smoker), with squeeze bottles of my homemade rich bbq sauce and vinegar bbq sauce
>lemon bars
>hot german-style potato salad
>black eyed pea salad
>chili, plus cornbread and all the fixings ((I'll also supply disposable bowls for it)
>broccoli salad (chopped broccoli with toasted walnuts, dried cranberries, scallions, and a creamy vinaigrette topped with crumbled bacon)
>Mediterranean style pasta salad
>Baked mac and cheese
>bourbon pecan pie
>If it's summer, so I can get good tomatoes, I'll also bring a tomato, mango, and basil salad

My world famous son-of-a-gun stew

puppy chow

A bunch of sliders. No one hates a nice hamburger.

>grilled chicken hearts.

I'd like them, but at a typical potluck in the south you'd probably end up tarred and feathered and ridden out of town on a rail.

You know, I ain't even mad about those. Manually chopping vegetables is just boring if all you do is chop them coarsely for people to eat plain or in dressing with their fingers. I'd buy them for myself if money wasn't an object, so having some free convenient variety of fruits and veggies is, if anything, a bonus.

That said, I'd rather know if someone is bringing one, so I know to make/bring hummus or baba ganoush or something.

40 pounds of feijoada

Kek

>consuming anything with jello

Out of my way losers it's lumpia time

the thinking man's contribution

999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 gallons of water

pinwheels are great. had some delicious ones at my grandfathers wake. good times

I actually have one coming up. Well, not mine, but my roommate's work is having one and she can't cook.

I was thinking some apple roses w/ caramel. Or maybe homemade danishes. Sweet finger food of some sort.

I made pepper pork buns for my workplace's last potluck, this time I'm making char siu skewers

This

Chili con chorizo

Little pancakes with bacon/cheese or apple in them

Meatballs

Stuffed peppers

I literally have a Christmas potluck tomorrow and I'm making a giant plate of these.

>Cream cheese w/diced onion and bell peppers & pesto spreads
>Kalamata Olives
>Sliced Cherry Tomatoes
>Peeled cucumber
>Baby Spinach
>Gouda and Muenster cheese
>Deli-sliced Smoked Turkey and Honey Ham
Gonna form them into log wraps tonight and chill them before portioning them in the morning.

I would bring some super dank weed brownies senpai

Please explain the concept of a "potluck" to a urapeein. What is it? Is it very American?

A communal lunch/dinner where everyone brings one or more dishes to share

>Please explain the concept of a "potluck" to a urapeein. What is it? Is it very American?
foodservicenews.net/November-2015/Culinary-Curiosities-Whats-the-History-of-the-Potluck/
word-detective.com/2009/06/potluck/
They started in the either the late 19th or early 20th century in America, but the idea is similar to the old fable of Stone Soup. Basically you set a place and date and everyone either brings a finger food like slider sandwiches or an a course like a mixed salad or casserole + dessert depending on how heavy/formal the occasion (typically church functions or family reunions). Normally there is little organization beyond those vague guidelines so everyone ends up bringing something different and when you open the containers at the table you are said to try your luck serving the various pots of food brought to get a good spread. (Of course sometimes you end up with 6 people bringing fried chicken and nobody bringing plates or drinks.)

I would love this!

It depends on what I know other people are bringing. For my work, I usually bring a dessert, because I've slowly amassed a horde of recipes that are loaded with booze and get everyone to loosen up at these 'dry' events. When my friends do a potluck, I usually make meatballs or bacon wrapped wienies or some other protein based dish, because my friends are poor and bring crap stuff like coleslaw and potato chips and a potluck without a protein is hell.