What are some red flags, pitfalls, or immediate indicators that a story is going to be shit?

What are some red flags, pitfalls, or immediate indicators that a story is going to be shit?

Written by a white male.

lel triggered xd

wrote by a women or a nonwhite!

Written by an American, and I'm completely serious

Red flag: female author

Immediate indicators: asshole narrative voice, unfunny jokes, cliches

Pitfalls: bogging the reader down with description from page 1, uncreative allusions to other popular narratives

That's awfully specific.

If it was written, you just know it'll suck

It's reccomended by Veeky Forums

the first sentence isn't syntactically original. Find me a first sentence to a story/book that is really good that doesn't kick you in the nuts.

Pushing agendas and and explicitly advocating for belief systems/religions. If I catch even a whiff of that shit I'm outie

Call me Ishmael

its about a writer

perfect first sentence. not sure what you mean

>Narrator introduces himself

Wow, how stylish, what a work of genius!

>Implying propaganda can't produce good material

>New York Times Best Seller

t. brainlet

In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.

*In the beginning when God created the heavens and the Earth.

**Back to the beginning, when God was a beginner.

female or minority author
postmodernist work (im not eptersonfag, i used to hate postmodernism way before him)

***Call me God

Pathetic

Resorting to insults just tells me I've won, friend

I see I've stirred the Moby Dick-rider pot

Literally no edition does that.

if the character emotions are fake

NRSV.

Longer than war and peace

What do you mean by fake?

>has a length limit
It scares me how pathetic some minds can be.

A disgusting non-edition.

The author was born after 1900

>It scares me
Why don't you get over your fears then?

read the fucking whole book, you fucking piece of illiterate cunt.

Main character isn't human

>Book is "written"
>Has a title
>When
>not by a dead person
>cover is too hot

>written by John Green
>"recommended for young adults"

there are good examples, but 99 percent of john green and young adult stories are fucking trash. Now that I'm reading it again, I even see Harry Potter's missed opportunity.