How many of you fuckers are actually trying to write a novel?

How many of you fuckers are actually trying to write a novel?

I thought I was but every time I sit down to do it my mind goes blank. It's too big. Organization tips?

i am. if i ever get published and put on a bestseller list you can guarantee that i will let it slip somehow that i post here. if my work continues to do well then i'll use my connections to get as many of you published as i can. because i honestly think you're a great bunch of folks who care more about literature than any MLA committee we at Veeky Forums are a literary movement waiting to happen.

>trying to write a novel?
i want to but i havent really nailed exactly the structure. what are some Veeky Forums approved writing programs? i want to do it the patrician way.

If its 'too big' (whatever you might mean by that) find the smallest element and start with that, or outline in broad, simple strokes before getting into particulars.

For some reason I can only write when receiving fellatio. I can get a good forty or fifty words out but I have trouble with premature climax, how do I pace things?

if you ever get to that point I'm banking on you letting me chill in one of your many mansions.

Yup. I'm in the process of cutting out the fat without it being too single minded. I might attempt to do it write it all at once after I'm done with classes this semester. After that it's revision and editing.

Get an onahole.

Not trying. Doing. Taking my sweet-ass time, though. Hopefully it won't be shit.

I'm currently working on a military sci-fi novel bit by bit, but it's a story that I really want to do justice so I've made peace with the fact that I'll be working on it for years.

But a big problem is that a major plot point is the revelation that the main character used to be a high school teacher that slept with, and was in an extended relationship with one of his students. This is an issue because I going to be starting work as a high school teacher soon and people would rightfully get suspicious if they found out about it, even though I would never lay a hand on any of my students. The relationship the MC has with his student is an allegory for my own stunted psycho-sexual development. If I can pull it off I feel like it would work as a good exploration of human romance and the process of maturing into an adult, but if I fail I could get black listed from the education field.

Either ways I'm definitely publishing under a pseudonym.

Can't you make him a college teacher? I mean, make it legal-ish at least.

Why would I? Fiction is wasteful self-indulgence.

I would, but another major plot element is that he spends almost the entire book in a robot body he received as a guinea pig plucked from the prison population. Also his own self disgust at what he did plays a big role in the way he acts for most of the story.

>I would, but another major plot element is that he spends almost the entire book in a robot body he received as a guinea pig plucked from the prison population.
How does that relate to the highschool?

>Also his own self disgust at what he did plays a big role in the way he acts for most of the story.
There's other ways to get around that, the main thing is that he has to be in a position in which he is presented as "taking advantage" of her, right? She could be sick, or sheltered, or something else; I mean, I don't know the specifics.

are you trying to be the karl ove knausgaard of science fiction?

One of his students has a crush on him, and because of some issues he had when he was a kid he reciprocates against his better judgement . Eventually he gets caught and is sent to prison. Now completely disgusted by sex and human contact he seeks to escape his own humanity by volunteering for a procedure that transfers his mind into a robotic body where he believes he can find true refuge from the temptations and folly of flesh.

That's the broad strokes more or less. I've only been working on it for about six months now and I've been hesitant to go to the people I normally bounce ideas off of because of the darker subjects brought up.

I see. Then it's better that keep things as is. It's supposed to be traumatic and everything. If you feel too pressured though, you could just not mention the specific reason why he got into prison and is going through that; leave clues maybe, could make the story more interesting.

I'm working on a fantasy novel. I figure this will be the easiest way to get into publishing. I want to write in several genres. I have an English degree.

post general bulletpoints about your fantasy universe so we can take potshots at how generic it is

for real tho, what's your USP?

yeah, I'm 50 pages in, but my ability to write on it comes sporadically. I'll write constantly for 3 or 4 weeks, and then 6 months later, constantly for 3 or 4 weeks. Since I'm waiting for my lightning strike, I've started a schlock horror comedy that I'm just seeing where it goes. It starts off with a guy puking out a car window, so I have high hopes for it.

you're a cool guy, friend

Trying is for faggots. Might as well not bother, you either write a novel or don't.

Do you have couple scenes you want to write? Start with stuff that happens before or after. Or just go the oldschool way with a fucking outline. Use some monomyth template if you're completely clueless and adjust it to your needs as you progress. Who are your characters? What's the setting? Why do you have to write it?

>because i honestly think you're a great bunch of folks
You're a shitty judge of character. Good fucking luck getting published.

The first draft will be.

From what I got it's a pretty tricky genre to get into actually. You'd need some element to stand out of the crowd, even more so than usual.

I'm doing my damnedest to root out any fantasy cliches.
>USP
?

>You'd need some element to stand out of the crowd
That's my primary effort now, to develop some interesting angles

Cliches are tools not something to be rooted out, mate. Fantasy lives on them, so just like with everything else, it's about the balance.

tropes*
cliche=overused/bad trope
yes they are bad

I have about 25k words done and 80% of the plot figured out. I still have no idea what to tell people it's "about" when they ask. Can't even show them pages or chapters as I'm writing it in non-sequential order and the first draft is shit (I'm forcing myself not to edit until the whole script is done to avoid the problems that causes).

tell me what it's about

i am. been trying for a while. have produced a couple of drafts & manuscripts previously but they were all worse than garbage. too didactic & obvious. interesting ideas but the style was terrible.

i'm liking the current iteration tho. it's really the setting that i'm interested in: a big liminal world with a lot of monsters & intrigue & paranoia. sort of like nick land's middle-earth, if that makes any sense. or maybe alpha centauri crossed with final fantasy. the characters are mainly in it just to take a tour of the place i think. i'm about 60K in atm & it's flowing reasonably well. just backstory mostly. got the MC, antagonist, beginning/middle/end all worked out.

it's intended to be cheesy pulp fun and not heavy.

I would if I had the darnest clue what to write about...

About 1/4 of the way through the first draft, with a lot of outlining done. Still so far to go but I'm patient and passionate, so the slow trudge continues.

I wrote about 30k words then dumped it. Gonna try again for the third time though Im glad Im taking it slowly as I finally know where the story is heading.

I got into literature a year ago and i have read quite a lot since then in my opinion. I was thinking about writing a novel. I really saw myselve as an author in the future, having this future career in mind i went on a 20 day hike last month. A lot of time to think, and now I think I roughly know what I want to do with the book. I try to come up with good stories but after analysing it for a little while i always conclude that it´s shit and pretentious. I think that tomorrow I will realy sit down, no distractions, and just go for it. Just start, then keep going untill I have a good bit and later take out all the shit. BTW almost everything I read is in English, but since I´m Dutch wouldn´t it be better to write in my native language? Since writing nice prose and such should be easier and more natural in your native tongue right? What do you guys think?

Wrote a novella, waiting for feedback so I can improve it.

I hope to eventually, but I haven't read enough yet. I've started writing a diary and whenever I see a critique thread I'll try and write something.

Have your first draft be Dutch, then go back and translate it to English while editing. Doing this will make you think more about each word and you will have the final "product" in English- which is a much bigger market.

That's pretty much what I am doing with German - English, since the German market is mostly limited to fantasy and local crime stories.

Thats a nice idea, but I my problem is that a LOT of Dutch sayings make 0 sense in English, I might start with short stories, not too big of a commitement that way but for practice.