Earlier, in one fell swoop, my world got turned upside down. I found out that there are people who wipe standing up...

I'm now learning that people wipe sitting down, that sounds insane to me. If I tried that my hand would dip into the toilet, maybe I just have a shallow toilet at my house. Also, you are savages.

ohhhh I see, it's a fat person thing

the only people who wipe sitting down were taught by their mommies.

like seriously. how the hell do you get it clean unless you're up on your feet?

surgery
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I wipe standing up.

If there isnt a bidet i dont remove the poop before i get home

>fat people do anything standing up
Your logic is flawed, sir.

those arent people user rest assure they are subhuman scum. sleep easy knowing you and i are better than this.

i know a guy who wrote his thesis paper for his psyc degree on crumpling or folding toilet paper when you wipe and if you wipe twice with the same piece or not

I have never seen a bidet in my life.

No. I was over at a new friend's house and saw them wash the dishes in such an abominable way. Not dirty a pig, btw, their house is immaculate. I concealed my horror effectively, I think, but I still had to ask. One thing lead to another and different friend (who apparently uses the same method) joked with "I bet you also wipe sitting down".

World -----> crumbles

Amerilards wear street shoes that have tromped through blood, urine, feces and vomit into their carpeted housing and pick up their spawns dropped pacifier and shove it back into their mouth, so why would they care if they have an unclean ass?

OBSESSED.

They are not common in hell

Do all americans work in a hospital or something?

Hey guy from wherever the fuck you are from?

WE LEFT YOU THERE BECAUSE WE DID NOT HAVE ROOM FOR ASSHOLES. You are the left behind. Abandoned.

I remember when I first found out that there existed a group of savages so barbaric that they stand when they wipe, constricting the cheeks of their buttocks and thus restricting proper depth of wipe. I was a simpler, more naive man back then. Finding out that these people existed was like discovering Santa or the tooth fairy wasn't real, and even worse, that they were among me, among even the people I trusted, befriended, and loved.

I felt like I could no longer trust any preconceived notions I had of the world I grew into by that point. What other vast and infinite inconsistencies to my world view exist, forever trapped behind unspoken of walls. Do I breathe strangely? Touch myself in a bizarre manner? Floss my teeth like a madman? How much have I been wrong about to assume was just the nature of man?

Apparently, there are also people who shit in the shower.

literally sticking your hands in a fucking toilet, that's fucking disgusting

I really can't.

i thought that how everyone washed plates...

I heard that Americans have to live with niggers lol

Only in the south, but even then it is no different than the average European muslim refugee.

first of all, stand-up wipers are superior. now... I refuse to believe that "I don't rinse the dishes" is a significant group of people.

we call those people "renters"

nigga just get a bidet attachment

Bidets don't have a 100% success rate.

i dun have a ball sack

I did up until the age of 15, when I did some serious self-evaluation and corrected every last one of my flaws.

This.

I'm all kinds of uncomfortable now. What is the right way to do either?

Everyone folds, surely...

I pull.

wat

triggered

> be me
> be at mother in law's for the first time
> see her do dishes in manky dishwater
> 12 years of anxiety every time she invites us over even for a cuppa

Oh, there are people like that out there alright.

If you wipe standing up then you're not wiping properly and missing shit that you're carrying around all day, no wonder people avoid you and give you strange looks, they know the smell is coming from you, while you just sit there casually ignorant because you can't smell yourself.

There's people out there who don't even wash their hands ever, and many people who spend hours fondling themselves and then go around touching stuff.

No. It's a tradeoff situation. Folding uses less paper, but tends to allow poo particles to break through onto your hand. Crumpling uses more paper, but keeps instances of poo hand fewer.

Front to back is cleaner than back to front. Squat wiping is cleaner than both sitting and standing. Squat pooping is superior to sitting, physiologically. It straightens out the colon or something, allowing poop to come out easier, reducing odds of hemorrhoids and poop-strain heart attacks.

All of the pro-squatting propaganda research comes from Panjab University. They're incredibly biased, as you might imagine.

>Do all americans work in a hospital or something?

I'm an American who does, and no, my work shoes don't come in the house.

Try it. Put your feet up on a foot stool or something and lean forward next time you take a shit.

That's common knowledge but that doesn't mean it's feasible in every day situations. I don't go about my day carrying around a stool.

To the thread. No-one should ever stand to wipe unless they can't physically reach otherwise. Even putting their hand between their legs to wipe in a backwards fashion is preferable to standing.

Constricting the cheeks? If you tilt your back like you're about to get fucked in the ass your cheeks are spread far enough. Yes, i wipe standing.

A lot of people subconsciously attempt an optimal poop squat on their toilets by leaning forward and raising their knees on the balls of their feet, but it doesn't quite make the colon line up right and their calves get tired too soon.

wipe standing up and use flushable wipes to get completely clean
using toilet paper never gets you clean and is for retards

Who the Fuck doesn't rinse? You mean there's a probability I've eaten off someone's dirty ass dishes because they can't be fucked to rinse grimy suds off their shit?

I normally first wipe with normal toilet paper, and then with wet paper i clean it thoroughly, then another paper to dry it.

That's kinda what I was getting at. If by standing they mean a spread-legged, partial squat, I think that's a better wipe than sitting. If they're stand-wiping without semi-squatting at all yeah, there's no way they're getting all of it with their ass cheeks clenched. Any position that stops the glutes from clenching is better.

This. I also do it while sitting down.

Sitting, and rinsing master race reporting for duty

Only manlets can wipe sitting down. A normal sized man finds it too cumbersome to reach back without smacking everything behind and still balance forward.

t.10ft fatso
I'm 187cm and overweight and can still wipe sitting no drama

>Wiping back to forward.

t. fresh prince

I wipe standing up. Spread that asscheeck with one hand and really get in there till it's clean. Sucks when I'm at places that don't take this into account. For instance, the bathrooms at my gym have sensors that automatically flush the toilet after you stand up. So the toilet could flush several times during a shit.

My shitwit housemate thinks running something under the tap for a second and then sweeping a scrubbing brush across the surface once is somehow akin to cleaning. As if the brush is a magic wand.

I have to rewash everything he does before I use it. Don't forget to like and subscribe to my blog.

How the fuck do you wipe standing up unless you have a thigh gap?

...

>I wipe standing up. Spread that asscheeck with one hand and really get in there till it's clean.

This is one of those discussions I simply cannot explain to my gf when she wanders in the room and asks what I'm doing...

You bend your back and spread your legs, like you're about to get assfucked

Take a nail clipper to the skin tags. Doesn't hurt much.

Santa is real, he just doesn't go around the world himself you fucking that
Why the fuck do you think he has all those other Santa's at malls? He has them help him out with deliveries
You must be a moron if you think santa isn't real.

the fuck? my life's been flipped, turned upside down. there's standing wipers who go under the bridge instead of around the corner??

I must admit that in order for this interesting ass wiping thread to appear more relevant to the board, people who rinse their dishes in dirty water are disgusting.

or just scrape them off with a straight razor, that's what I do. I say scrape and not shave because theyr'e surprisingly tough, you'll need a loaded strop for touch ups

do americans really sit down to wash the dishes?

do americans really wipe their asses with their dishes?

People who wipe while sitting are unclean animals. How do you check the paper to see its clean and know your ass is all good? If you dont do that, even the tiniest smear will collect with the sweat in your crack and give you swamp ass to wipe later anyways, and the smell will be rancid and clear to anyone near you. And if you do check, why go through the hassle of dipping your hand into the toilet and then maneuvering it out without allowing it to touch your ass/back to check and then finally drop itt back in?

How deep do you think an ass gets inside the john, you ninny?

Sorry i dont have the hands of a small Asian child and would rather not risk my hands dipping into water full of my piss and shit. This still doesnt answer the question of how you check the paper, or why go through the rigorous process when you can stand, bend over, squat a bit, and spread your cheek with one hand for the cleanest wipe.

He's a lardass. His ass cheeks probably touch the water.

Does slightly raising yourself from the seat counts? I'm like doing a half squat when I wipe.

>Folding uses less paper, but tends to allow poo particles to break through onto your hand.
If they only use two pieces of paper, maybe.

>risk my hands dipping into water full of my piss and shit.
Flush the toilet before you wipe

>flush toilet while sitting
>splashes onto my ass
>stand up to flush
>might as well wipe while im already up

The water level in American toilets is actually very high. Almost kissing your asscheeks. They designed it like this so the turd will slip silently into the water and reduce splashing. This is why Americans have to stand to wipe. It's also a great way to combat the obesity problem.

>its true of my toilet so its true of everyone else's

Why are you overcomplicating things? I angle myself accordingly without having to physically touch my ass (which has just been inside the toilet - why would I want to touch it?). Reach around, wipe, drop, wipe, drop. Then slightly elevate hand, turn my head, check, drop. All without ever leaving the immediate area. People who sit up will have their muddy cheeks clap at least once unless they keep their ass open with their hand which, frankly, is disgusting. And then they have to wipe, check, drop like the rest of us -- only they do it from a fucking distance. So while you find people who reach around to wipe without ever having their hand touch anything unsavory manky, you have no problem grabbing your own shitty ass and holding it open while essentially taking your freaking shit for a walk.

Brilliant.

>he thinks America has some kind of toilet water level rule

You dont need to reach inside the crevice of your anus to spread your cheek, just like a toilet seat holds your cheeks spread by touching the cheek itself.

Where am I?
Is this the food and cooking channel?

Uhhh all toilets in america are not uniform.

Also I wipe standing up, mainly because there is nothing in the world worse than having your phallus end dip a little into the water during the act of defecation. Absolutely disgusting.

>the body process isn't part of the food experience
I bet you hang your toilet paper wrong tol

Who the hell still wages dishes with their hands anymore? Do you live in a third world country? I can't remember the last time I washed dishes, dishwashers are a thing for a reason you know.

You partially wash dishes or set them in soap to soften for about 5 minutes; then rinse them off quickly and toss in the dish washer.

This can happen if you eat at Denny’s

Good luck getting that caked on grime washed off in the dishwasher

I stand up and face the toilet while wiping so I can see what I did. Take pride in your work.

I don’t know about you but my poop hole is a perfect circle. How can wiping in different directions make any difference?

As for sitting and wiping I can’t fit my hand in the toilet to do this even if I had any inclination to do so. Standing with bent knees has all of the benefits people are claiming for sit wiping.

It's not about your asshole, it's about where the paper goes after. Obviously you don't wipe by just patting your asshole, but by swiping over it.

Women absolutely should not wipe back to front, because they can get shit in their vagina; it's a great way to get an infection.

Men can get shitty balls, which, while not as significant, is still unpleasant.

I also stand with bent knees to wipe, but wish I could squat. Not sit, but squat.