What do you order when you go to Indian restaurants?

My wife and I order two butter chickens, one vegetable korma, one garlic naan, and one paneer naan.

On occasion, I will order a different entree, but I'm always disappointed that it's never as good as the butter chicken.

>butter chicken
are you sure that isnt too spicy for you?

lol. They don't ask that. We just order it medium.

>We just order it medium.
they dont make it medium
they dont add any heat because you ordered butter chicken

lamb biryani
onion pakora

medium "spicy" doesnt exist

8 poppadoms and two pints of lager for starters followed by rogan josh, chicken jalfrezi, prawn karahi, rice and a nan.

Four naan

Chicken Tikka, garlic naan, samosas and a King Fischer.

Beef Laziz and Bhajias

sukhi sabzi

cheers.

I am the motherfucker who orders a vegetable thali, or if they don’t have one I just order a fuckload of vegetable dishes. Indians do vegetables way better than they do meat. Dal makhani, palak paneer and aloo gobi are constants.

If I do get a meat curry I usually go lamb and most of the time I get the spiciest one they have that isn’t just spicy as a gimmick. I like tandoori chicken but find it rather boring in a sauce. Fish curries are my favourite, though. A good fish curry is fucking brilliant and often I will order extra so that I can make a kedgeree with it in the morning. Fuck the places that make really squelchy, oily fish curries with dredged pieces of fish. I like a whole fillet or big pieces of monkfish or a split mackerel.

if it's one i've not eaten at before i go chicken tikka masala cos it's like the acid test. if they can't get that right there's no point ordering anything else from there.
if it's a repeat visit i like a chicken dhansak.

That is retarded, why would you order the least Indian thing on the menu to gauge the quality of an Indian restaurant? Just get the chicken tikka, it’ll be cheaper and more representative.

that is a yoke
it has no so spice too much hot spice, yet it can still give you the "too spicy was the food, curry-slurry diarrhea thunder tsunami"
you do not get the diarrhea from spice, you get diarrhea from the poo poo bacteria in you are food and drink and utensils and every where you touch
except the toilets, the toilets have no bacteria since no indian food cooking man uses them, only the customer and the cleaning lady who is mexican

Jahlfrezi/ Bhuna/ Dupiatza/ madras. Vindaloo if I go in after already having a few bevvies.
Special fried rice.
Naan if I'm feeling hungrier.
If poppadoms aren't on the house I'm burning it down.

I forgot stupid americans have some weird scale where they can order a mild vindaloo or a spicy korma. Doesn't work like that retards.
Also reminder that Korma's and masalas are for children, gays and girls. They're fucking vile and if you eat that rank yoghurt stew you should leave Veeky Forums and go back to geddit where you belong.

>you do not get the diarrhea from spice, you get diarrhea from the poo poo bacteria in you are food and drink and utensils and every where you touch

Actually, Americans get the "spicy food shits" because of their generally weak digestive tracts and comparatively lower spice tolerance.
It's why the "you get painful shits after eating spicy food" is a thing that only exists in American pop culture, and nowhere else in the world.

It's what happens when you go entire generations eating mostly corn, processed food and almost zero non-synthetic spices.

America gets the shits when they have a tiny bit of spice.
The rest of the world gets the shits when they eat corn syrup shit food that I wouldn't even use to fatten up pigs for slaughter.

I eat spicy food all the time and it still gives me the shits, I don’t think it’s about tolerance.

>I forgot stupid americans have some weird scale where they can order a mild vindaloo or a spicy korma
It's because Americans are incredibly weak to spice, as illustrated here If you just made a normal menu without the choice to forgo some spice you'd lose 3/4 of your customers, since they'd all get sick and start accusing you of having spoiled food or some other inane excuse.

>synthetic
synthetic electronic sounds, industrial rhythms all around
music, synthetic, techno pop

chips, rice, chicken tikka masala, keema naan. and kingfisher beer.

>CHICKEN TIKKA MASALA PLEASSSSEEEE
>CHICKEN KORMA PLLEEAAAAASSSSEEEE
pic related

pls no bully : (

Two naans a man

...

Chicken Achari with chapattis

If it seems like a nice place, I'll check the chefs specials.
If its a bog standard takeaway, Lamb vindaloo, garlic naan, pilau rice. Prawn Bhuna w/ Puri if people are ordering starters.

prawn vindaloo,lamb cutlets

Chicken vindaloo, sag paneer, palak paneer

I don't go to Indian restaurants, usually I just get take out.
But I'll get something different every time if I can.
If I can't decide, vindaloo as standard.

A mixed tandoori and tikka grill, chicken kharai, lamb nihari, channa bhatura, dhai puri chaat, garlic and coriander naan, pilau rice, salty lassi or a kingfisher if I'm drinking.

Four candles?

To know where the exit is

I just think about them open pooping in standing water and decide to go somewhere else.

Think of all the energy the body saves from turning food into poop, when the food is basically [smelly] poop to begin with.

You have penis envy for running water and basic sanitary needs dot man.

Vegetable Korma and paneer paratha, and usually some Medhu Vada, sometimes some tandoori lamb.

Oh, and I always order either spiced buttermilk or rose milk. Occasionally I'll order some bhel puri to take home for later.

Whenever I travel to NYC and my friends take me to indian restaurants I always order the fully spiced lamb vindaloo.

Poppadoms etc, Shrek kebab, Lamb vindaloo, beef phall, Peshawari naan, Keenan naan

Toilet paper

Maybe a shashlik of some kind or the usual tikka masala. My main gripe with curries is that outside of korma, tikka and the side dishes like pakora, bhajis, seek &c., a lot of them Thanet like the same sort of mix of spices in a think sauce with chunks of meat

If I have a starter, prawn puri or onion bhaji

Main: Lamb madras, peshwari naan, bombay paneer, pilau rice.

Worked in a kitchen with an indian before. He said in an Indian restaurant they have perhaps 2 main sauces - one creamy and one tomato, and then another 1 or 2 side sauces that they use to adjust the main sauce along with adding some different spices. Probably why everything tastes so similar.

chefs special, unless its one of those retarded "burn your face off" challenge bullshit

Lamb Jalfrezi, an onion kulcha bread, maybe a dal makhni or channa masala if I'm not feeling like meat.

Rose milk....wtf is that just milk with a splash of rose water

...

Indian normally

Now that I've got diabetes, I go for tandoori chicken, chicken saag or a vegetable curry, and a mini saffron rice. The place I go to is cool because they barely charge me for the small portion of rice.

This week I tried yellow chicken tikka though, it was bretty gud.

The place I order it from makes it using milk, rose water, rose syrup, and rose petals, and it's steeped. You can also order it with or without basil seeds.

You can look up YouTube videos of how to make Indian restaurant style "base" sauce. It makes perfect sense since many curries have the same base ingredients, but then add other things.

You faggots must have overheard me saying that same joke earlier today with far better execution.

Lasagna

Spaghetti and meatballs.

BLT

Thats insane

Lamb vindaloo medium spice (lava)

Tikka masala, palak paneer, naan and lamb vindapooloo

I like to order the maze

pow wowowowoowowowowowowowowoowo!

Chicken vindaloo as spicy as they make it. Garlic Naan and rota.

Lamb korma, chicken vindaloo, or anything south Indean style with coconut milk in it. And of course garlic naan on the side. I love pooinloo restaurants so much.

I didn't know Indians had restaurants

Goat almond curry (Korma), raisin/coconut bread (forget Indian name), spicy tomato lamb (Rogan Josh), standard tikka masala, samosas, paneer dishes with tomato or spinach sauce sometimes.

chicken pakora, veggie pakora

chicken/lamb korma or biryani depending on the place

don't make jokes about Indian restaurants it will give you bad korma. you might get curried away

in india it's your naan who cooks your tendies

>shrek kebab

Diarrhea

I look around at what people are eating (discreetly) see what looks good and if the portion size is agreeable. If I don't recognize it I'll ask the waiter what table whatever is having.

Vindaloo or Jalfrezi are my go-to.

Just order whatever sounds good. Order something different the first few times to find what you like. You know, like every restaurant.

Veg Hakka noodles and Manchurian

>it will give you bad korma
You could have ended the joke here. 6/10

Staff recommendation. Done this loads of times, tried some delicious stuff I wouldn't have necessarily have ordered. At our fave restaurant, chicken .makhani, peshwari naan, jewel rice, mixed starter of pakora, bhaji, samosa. Raita and lime pickle on the side. Maybe a lamb Rogan Josh too if I'm splitting it with the wife.

I don't eat poor people food.

whats going on here

It's part of a conversation about racism from season 2 of Peep Show

How about anything from the... chinky?

Baigan bharta, beef or lamb korma

If I want spicy I'll order chicken curry, if not tikka masala
Sambar soup
Lamb Samosa
Bujjies (sp)
And a flying horse because indian food isnt complete without an indian lager.

How much did pic related cost?

Shrimp curry, and garlic naan. The meal comes with seasoned basmati rice, the curry goes so good with it

I have the chef make me a phall.

It's a hotter version of the vindaloo.

About $8. They have normal chicken tikka for $7. Honestly I didn't notice a huge difference.

something with lamb or paneer

Vindaloo

All three of you are cunts. i've been saying that joke all the time for years, whether the situation calls for it or not.