I was 23 and home from the Air Force with my new wife. My parents wanted to take us out to dinner. I love seafood...

I was 23 and home from the Air Force with my new wife. My parents wanted to take us out to dinner. I love seafood. Dungeness crab and steamer clams being my two favorites.
They took us to an all you can eat seafood buffet at a place called Tug Boat Annie's. I leveled the place. I was there about 3 hours and it was mortifying to my wife. People were coming out of the back and pointing at our table. "That's him over there". It was like I was Homer Simpson. A waitress even came over and said something like "I've been allowed to offer you piece of Prime Rib if you'd like it". I declined and just kept going. Finally my wife was squirming so much and we were laughing that we started to make a scene. I just called it and said we could go. I honestly could of stayed a lot longer.
Dungeness and I go way back....I just don't fill up on it. My dad tells a story when he was stationed at Whidbey Island on the Navy base. They had an all you can eat buffet on Friday nights. He said I did so much damage one night that they tried to charge me as an adult instead of a kid. I was like 10 years old. So yea...I have a history.

>Look mommy, I posted it again! tee hee :)

>Le epic trollllll

Its like every fucking day with this shit and the shitty energy drink threads. This board is autistic as fuck.

You sound like a working class chump. I bet you thought it would be a great "investment", how you would wake up to a warm, healthy breakfast to start off your long day. Maybe, you even had a couple thoughts about all the other nifty little uses you could find for the thing, how it would help you cook healthier meals in general, shed a couple pounds off the old gut, boost your confidence around work and with the ladies. Yeah, maybe that slow cooker would start your life cooking again, wouldn't it? I can see your strained hands holding the box and reading through it carefully at the store. A little bit pricey, but you're the type of guy who thinks everything is more than you can spend, aren't you. And look what happened to you. Look what the slow cooker did to you. Fucked you over, and made you clean it like a useless bitch. You don't even fucking like oatmeal. Piece of shit, you've been repeating those three words your whole life, haven't you. Yeah, how was work after that piece of shit fucked you over? I bet it was on your mind the whole day, you probably didn't say shit to nobody. Can't be telling people about your mistakes. How your little fix yourself plan, failed you. Don't want people to start thinking you're the failure. You're the piece of shit, all along. You don't want that do you? You don't want to be the piece of shit everybody secretly whispers about, do you? Was your father a piece of shit like you? I bet he never had a slow cooker. He had a woman, a house, a damn good job. I bet it's slow cooking you the fuck alive, isn't it. Comparing yourself to him. How one day when all the steam runs our of your life, you'll discover how you're nothing more than burnt shit to be scraped off and thrown in the trash.

Holy shit this thread is stupid.

Again.

What kind of severe autistic dysfunction would cause some crack-brained spastic to do this year after year?

Seriously, take a good look at yourself. I'd say your Aspbergers goes beyond the moderate-to-severe level and shades into true clinical autism. We are talking near-rainman levels here. Seek help.

I mean this most sincerely, and without the slightest degree of snark.

Its not funny or interesting anymore. Instead its just a sad reminder about your failed, pathetic life, that you continue to piss away, drooling on the internet in a mindless self perpetuating cycle of OCD that is reinforced by repetitious fc posts. You feel the need to share that cycle with others, which is tantamount to you sitting in the corner, rocking back and forth, singing "Brown bear, brown bear" until someone forcibly medicates you and smacks your bottom.

Please, log off, and get help. This is not a healthy reaction to life. It indicates a serious problem. I'm not sure what sort of abuse you suffered, or what trauma you lived through, that drove you to this point, but, it oesn't matter. You can get help, there are places and specialists that have devoted their lives to aiding people just like you.

you can make a break from your sad, failed life, and live something approaching like a normal life. You may never be totally human, but, you can at least experience society in a context outside of a computer monitor.

Imagine being so fucking autistic you make the same threads over and over every day.

Literally cancer

There he is. There he goes again. Look, everyone! He posted it once again! Isn’t he just the funniest guy around?! Oh my God.

I can almost see your pathetic overweight frame glowing in the dark, lit by your computer screen which is the only source of light in your room, giggling like a like girl as you once again type your little dungeness thread up and fill in the captcha. Or maybe you don’t even fill in the captcha. Maybe you’re such a disgusting NEET that you actually paid for a Veeky Forums pass, so you just choose the picture. Oh, and we all know the picture. The “epic” Barge burger, isn’t it? I imagine you little shit laughing so hard as you click it that you drop your Doritos on the floor, but it’s ok, your mother will clean it up in the morning. Oh, that’s right. Did I fail to mention? You live with your mother. You are a fat fucking fuckup, she’s probably so sick of you already. So sick of having to do everything for you all goddamn day, every day, for a grown man who spends all his time on Veeky Forums posting about fucking AYCE seafood. Just imagine this. She had you, and then she thought you were gonna be a scientist or an astronaut or something grand, and then you became a NEET. A pathetic Tugboat Annie's NEET. She probably cries herself to sleep everyday thinking about how bad it is and how she wishes she could just disappear. She can’t even try to talk with you because all you say is “yea...I have a history.” You’ve become a parody of your own self. And that’s all you are. A sad little man laughing in the dark by himself as he prepares to indulge in the same old dance that he’s done a million times now. And that’s all you’ll ever be.