Doctor told me I have to get a permanent osteomy bag

jesus dude. glad youre okay??????

Crushed pelvis, right leg tib/fib, lost a ball, urinary hell, lost bowel, my left leg lost much of its artery.

I'm doing great these days though. No shit, all I have is bad sciatic pains.

My kidney got crushed and I ended up pissing a kidney stone when I was 10. It was like pissing hell and wishing you were dead. It was worse than any catheter they shoved up me when I was a child.

It's from a southern hemisphere textbook.

Just let me write that down for later on.

This is where my artery failed and I needed a bunch of packed bandages. It was the most pain I've ever felt.

Shit man, the body is resiliant. Wish there was a way to know that i'll recover that well if I ever get involved in an accident like that

Just don't live into your 40s or life will become ass.. Pain comes later on.

...

How close to death were you?

They packed that wound with white guaze and I shouted at the top of my lungs the entire time. You have no idea how much pain the inner flesh creates.

I was the most "dead" guy in 1981 in Ontario. I was totally fucking dead. SOme fucking College retard nurse saved my entire life. Never met the person who saved me.

youtube.com/watch?v=XIqJaT3cvf8

Is it worse than hand sanitizer on a paper cut?

I know the person who ran me over, but I don't know the person who saved me. That's kinda fucked up.

It's like feeling your insides on fire being pulled out in front of you with out any pain relief. It's sharp white pain.

Who? How did that happen?

I was a kid going to to a skating rink with friends. Just a silly trip to a rink. Drunk truck driver who turned me into ground chuck.

I learned about 7 different professions of medicine. Urology, Orthotics, internal medicine, skin grafters, etc..

I hope you made it to the rink that day and skated.
But still shit son, sounds horrible. In a way its better that it happened as a kid when you heal faster.

Exaclty, It's way better when it happens when you're a kid. I only need 4 months in the hosipital and months of physical therapy. Never went back to "Wheels" roller skating in London.

THe only problem is I'm 46 today and my goddamn sciatic nerve is eating shit.

Why didn't you go through the tunnel towards the light?

Did anything happen while you were dead?

No I woke up to ice chips a week later in the hospital. I don't remember the entire week. I was just completely mangled and had no knowledge of it.

Thunder Bay?

Smoke dope!

Damn dude I hope youre getting on ok

>all I have is bad sciatic pains

I feel ya bro, 3 ruptured discs has damaged my sciatic nerves belong healing. I can't piss or shit normally either.

>shitting in a bag
how about you get a second and third opinion before you do this

That's why you look both ways before crossing the street

It's like being Indian without having to pull your pants down on the street.

gimme your address and i'll let you find out

OP never said colostomy though, an ostomy can be placed anywhere on the digestive tract. If it is in the area in the pic, it may be an iliostomy or however the fuck it's spelled.

Fuck /b/ gore this is the real fuckin deal. Better, harder, faster, stronger. Glad your here to tell us brother.

The doctor didn't even specify if it's an ileostomy or colostomy? You should get a second opinion I think.
The best diet depends on this as well.

I interned in lower gastric surgery for a while.
We had one guy with a colostomy who came in like once a month because it was prolapsed and needed a few stitches. These things happen but they're not supposed to happen that much. A lot of effort was spent on making sure his diet wasn't causing constipation which is the comon cause of prolapsing but the problem just wouldn't go away.
Finally one of the doctors figured it out and asked the patient if he was gay.

That looks really familiar. Have you posted about this before?

OP...tell us your general area. Veeky Forums will cook for you forever.

Iliostomy user here. If you have the colon removed, welcome to the thunderdome. The upside - you'll get used to it in a month and the freedom is fucking awesome.
Downside: the surgery is a hell like you've never known. The hard part is over in a week/2 weeks. Keep that in mind and enjoy those painkillers.

Basic run through - your mileage may vary

Food no gos:
Onions & Mushrooms. That shit blocks up the stoma.
Large amounts of dairy like drinking milk. It turns vile. Cheese generally is fine.
Anything with pips/seeds. Avoid them. They won't wreck you but can build up. Nuts too.
DO NOT EAT BRAN FLAKES. That kind of breaking up fibre shit will cause fucked up output
Sweetcorn. If you eat that, prepare to feel it squeeze out of your body one by one.

What you can do: Eat an entire pizza. No change there,
What you can't do: eat fucktonnes of pasta/seedy vegetables/fruit

Your new best friends:
white bread
anything eggs
meat (get rid of the fat)
egg pastas
baked beans
Bananas
Marshmallows/Jellybabies/Pringles (to thicken up the output)

Drinking:
Drink a beer ONLY WITH FOOD. On an empty stomach, it's going to straight up destroy you. I used to drink whiskey form the bottle. I had one bottle of stella and it put me on the floor.
Tea is fine. Coffee is fine.
Basic water will go right through you. It's useless.
Fruit juice is fine.
Sports drinks are nectar. Don't overdo it, or you'll develop kidney stones.

I gotta admit, the freedom I gained from a bag was incredible. Despite the diet restrictions I actually liked having one. I had no issues with sex while having one. It's nowhere as bad as you imagine it to be in your head when it's healed up.
Good luck fella.

Are...are you telling me that somebody was fucking the stoma for his shitbag?

What's the freedom of having a bag?

Yeah. His boyfriend was fucking it and the retard didn't think to tell us this or, you know, have him stop doing it. Came in at least once a month to have it fixed and was hospitalised for at least 48 hours each time. I know it's "free" here but it's still not actually fun.

I had colitis for a very long time so not having to run about shitting everywhere and being paranoid that you need the loo is incredible. You just do things and suddenly go "oh that's a little heavy" without even noticing it.
Here in the UK you order shit from a website and you basically go shopping for bag designs and attachments too. It's pretty fucking funky.

>gays

>Paper or plastic?
>Neither, I've got a bag for life

Well done, you made me fucking laugh my head off.

I'm confused, when you get one of those things installed do they putty up your butthole or something?

someone explain this please, it is important to know!

If they do a loop or divert, and the colon is left in, nothing changes except shit in a bag. If they remove it (iliostomy), they can yank about your intestine to make a fake colon called a pouch. Works similar but not the same. If you have a bag on the hip forever, they'll remove the colon and basically sew up the anus.

The more you know.

>sew up the anus

>sew up the anus.
That is fucking terrifying

Having one of those is my worst nightmare OP, I feel for you.

This is fucking funny though, sorry

jesus christ that's amazing that they saved it. how functional is everything?

The first suggestion was colonostomy since I have really bad perianal crohns. But the next time I saw them they were considering a full illeostomy instead. They wont know for sure until they do a colonoscopy in a few weeks. If my upper large intestine looks good they could probably do a colonostomy instead

What pain do you feel after the surgery? the cut where they made the stoma? the body reacting to missing internal parts? I hear the stoma itself has no nerves and thus no pain

I'm on a puree/liquid diet until my resection surgery next month (ileal stricture). If I wake up with an ostomy bag due to botched surgery I might sudoku.

Ive always had a special hatred for drunk drivers. I never told anyone this but one night I saw a guy drinking beer in his truck while driving all fucking crazy in front of me on the way back from work one night. I wont say how long ago it was or where this took place, but I saw him wreck pretty bad and didnt tell anyone. He died. Deserved it.

I had to clean up a carpeted floor after some dude's bag exploded at the store I was working at. It was odorless, and looked like a weird fucking red slushie. Fucking quit right after.

Shoulda quit before cleaning that up, dummy

I won't sugar coat this. You feel like you've been fucked over by a lion. So let me break it down. You'll have the following in you

Epidural in the back to manage pain
Stomach drain
Stoma bag
Tube up the ass (to drain away anything)
IVs for fluids, etc
Cathita for the piss

Step one is moving on your side. A "normal" incision is from the groin to 2 inches past the belly button. This is where the pain killers help. Hit that fucking button and get them drugs in to back.

Step 2 is actually sitting up. You won't be eating. Your shits cut up, inflamed, and the bits inside you are swollen to fuck. Moving with all the tubes and shit is difficult and painful. Number one culprit is the stomach train.

Step 2 is getting the cathita and ass tube pulled out and going mobile for a piss. This is where the fun begins. The stomach drain is inches of pipe in the body to drain shit out. It hurts to move with it in, it'll make you go about like an old man and you will fucking hate it.

Get past that and you have the joys of eating. Start small. Soft foods. There's a good chance that your body will be making bile for the same length of intestine/colon which you won't have any more. There's a chance this will back up in your stomach and make you vomit like exorcist shit. Only solution is a tube down the nose to drain out of the stomach over a few days to stabilise. If this happens TAKE THE FUCKING ADVICE AND DO IT. Do not hesitate. I've seen people say no and the results are not pretty.

When you're more "normal" then you get to manage the bag which you won't want to do. It's the last thing and the least worst thing about the whole damn thing.

To answer your questions - you don't feel anything in there with shit missing. You might feel your guts gurgle but that's mostly it. You don't feel like somethings missing. The body simply heals around the stoma and closes up.

cont...

To still, the stoma has no nerves, you're right so you can prod and poke that shit and you'll not feel it. Naturally I didn't do that. It's like a slug. It just sits there and oozes back and forth. When you clean it, when it behaves, it's easy street.

Stoma pro tips:
If the stoma is neat and not pointing down you're in the money. If it's pointing down it'll piss out into your open wound and cause separation where acidic fluid will eat away at flesh. In this instance you need a barrier ring before the bag and to eat stuff to bulk up what you pass. Liquid = bad. Irritates skin. I know this from experience. Until it's managed the stoma can hurt like fuck. As soon as you get a barrier on to heal it, you're gravy. Done right you won't even FEEL the stoma there.

Cleaning Stoma/Changing bag
Get in and get out quickly. The longer you leave it, more chance it'll start shitting out. Understand the bodies routine and make a habit out of it. Mine gave me a window of about half hour after breakfast where it didn't pass anything. When it gets active you need to clean a lot more and lot quickly to get that fucking bag on. Remember that liquid=bad? This applies here.

After a few weeks it'll have healed up well. The moment that stomach drain is taken out at day 5-7, you'll be able to actually walk about properly. Take it easy with the food, let your body get its appetite back naturally and lean what your stoma does. It's your new best friend. Dont' be afraid of it, don't be mad at it, work with it and I promise you'll be fine.

You're gonna lose weight. That's a given. On the plus side you can eat junk food shit and it'll be good for you!

jesus man, i just spend 2 hours last night psychologically prepping myself that it would okay to do the surgery, now after reading this I'd rather just waste away.
ironically ive had IVs for over 10 years, needles, epidurals, colonoscopies, blood transfusions, IV steriods and up to 15 pills day yet the idea of a stoma surgery is scaring me to death.

>Fucking quit right after.
what a moron

Honestly what I'm most pissed about was that I was in REMISSION FOR 13 YEARS and i went off remicade for a year because of insurance complications, and I felt FINE, i was literally med-free for a year with no issues, then BAM january of this year I hit rock bottom. Remission life is still so fresh in m mind that a fucking illestomy which is basically rock bottom for crohns makes me want to cry.

It's times like this that I'm glad my crohns is just really aggressive and in my lower bowels and not my butt

Oh god, I'm in remission right now after living my entire life ignoring it until I got formally diagnosed 2 years ago. Now I'm never fucking going off of humira, fuck that, cancer be damned.

dude. very fucking soon its legal here.

My fucking toes go numb. It goes down my hips, then my knees, then my fucking bloody toes. What is that? Fuck you, evolution.

Sorry, I'm shit at ostomy, I got a C. See what I did there?

I'm bitter about that shit in my old age. But we all learn too late in life about absolutely everything.

what if you still wanted it for, you know, other stuff

Nice balls

I just failed humira and will probably have to go on remicade. What kind of side effects if any did you experience when you were on it?

Slow the fuck down. At first I thought you were implying he was just having anal and somehow that was fucking up his colostomy.

But it seems like you're saying he was letting a dude fuck him in his side-chute which I can't even begin with fathom, it's baffling on a number of levels and I'd think you'd have to find some kind of bizarre fetishists to even begin to entertain the concept.

For my own sanity I'm just going to tell myself that you made up that story.

Shit, my nuts were in that. I didn't mean that. That's an arterial graft for medical purposes, dammit! That was the packed graft that made me understand pain. You don't get nail bed torture or deep cutting until you get shit like that.

Honestly, I felt great on Remicade. It was literally a miracle drug for me that worked until my body produced antibodies for it and I was then moved to Humira.
Some may call me crazy but I found it cozy going in for 3 hour IVs every month in a chair in the infusion clinic vs self-injecting myself with a rather painful humira pen. idk man.

back to the point, i didnt really have any issues with remicade and I hope you dont either, just get used to elbow crick IVs

I remember shitting myself in front of nurses and friends, it's pretty much the worst. When my asshole was reattached I was pretty happy.

What happened? Truck of peace?

Drunk, side of the road, I was looking the wrong way at the time. Meat grinder.

>hey doc, can you cut out my asshole and stretch the skin over this fleshlight for reasons?

Just

I had a temporary ileostomy for a while. It was pretty bad. No matter what I tried the entire time I could never get the bags to reliably stay taped on, so I had to constantly check in on it to keep it from falling off.
Also because there's no sense of urgency when it fills up with shit it's a million times more difficult to convince yourself to get up and take care of emptying it in the middle of the night when you're trying to sleep. I think if I had a permanent one I would eventually end up just using a large garbage bag on it at night so I wouldn't have to get up.

How long did that last? What's your situation now?

>How long did that last?
I think it was only a few months, definitely less than a year.
>What's your situation now?
The temporary ileostomy was part of the process for getting the internal "j pouch" (loop of small intestine stapled together to replace removed colon) set up, and I still have that "j pouch" today.

do you have to empty the j pouch?

J pouch isn't an external bag. It's guts

No, it's an internal re-purposing of spare small intestine to replace the large intestine that they remove. It's not like an ostomy where a piece of intestine is left exposed through your abdomen, all your remaining intestinal structure is hooked up internally for defecation the normal way.

so your movement's are always loose? I've had a few feet of small bowel removed myself in two surgeries. 18 inches each time, 15 years apart

here can you tell me what your op/post-op experience was like?

Boy, I sure do love Food and Cooking!