Hello welcome to Starbucks! What can I get you today?

I'll take an extra large strawberry frappe and a large fry.

>I'll have a large soy Carmel latte for my girlfriend(male)

Grande cold bruh 1/2 pump of "classic sweetner"

Soyboi

But it's not for me

tfw get starbucks gift cards for xmas but too autistic to go into starbucks

back in 2015 i ate croissants for a month off of them

Cuuc

water.

Get me the fuck out of there

Never

Okay! Would you like me to leave room for some sugars, creams, milks, soy milks, syrup shots, sweeteners, Stevia™ extracts, lactose-free milk, raw sugar cane extract, and non-binary beverage flavor enhancers? Or do you want the whole cup filled with just the coffee *laughs*

an inch of lead straight through me noggin

A grande latte, thanks

Just a black coffee please.

you got it, pull on through reviewbrah

1 (one) gf

I will take a big ass chocolate coffee milkshake, hold the faggot talk when you repeat my order. You know what I mean, and of course I want all the shit on top and low cal diet nothing.

Sir, please watch the bigotted-hate speech. The correct term is "unaltered coffee". "Black coffee" implies there is something inherently bland and bitter with blackness.

So we gave a venti caffe mocha frappucino with whipped cream and chocolate drizzle. That'll be $5.68. Are you a Starbucks rewards member?

Does anyone else refuse to say the faggy words they use for drink sizes and just says "small" "medium" or "large"

fucking yeah. Here's the card. Write Hitler on the cup.

Grande cold brew coffee, black

>Dextrose 50% PRN QID; seek glucose tolerance > 500
>One small frappichino coming up

xD

One tall unsweetened green tea lemonade, please.

That's me too.

Triple cortado, made with half and half and could you make cubano shots, 1 raw sugar in 2 of them? Thanks

>Herro, weRcom StaRbooko, Wat kan get to - day?

I'll take the one on the right, I bet she'd let me do anything

she wouldn't let you order coffee without milk, I'm sure.

1 venti soy latte extra soy thank you

This thread reeks of Reddit. Fuck all of you

I wouldn't order her nasty charred garbage. I'd take her home, ask her to remove her Charbucks uniform, and force her to try some of my George Howell stuff, ground in a Baratza Virtuoso and hand brewed with a gooseneck kettle while wearing only a dirty wet dishrag to protect her modesty. I would then dress her as a Tunesian slave boy and make her do ass to mouth while listening to Serge Gainesbourg played through my Focal Alpha 80s. And then she would eat all the eggs.

It's just like flips at Subway. white people don't work fast-food anymore where I live so if I ever want a sub, half the time it's the wrong sub, and every time they yell "TOS-TAD?!"

A nigger

That filename

...

Is this the reason they have these useless waste of space cup holders in american brand cars?

I unironically like the starbucks christmas flavor stuff. I only go to starbucks from Dec 1st to Jan 5th to get them.

your car doesnt have cupholders?
Usually (im not kidding) we have 2-4 cupholders inbetween the driver and shotgun seat. A cupholder in every door. and the middle backseat will foldout into 2-4 more cupholders

One Korean gf named Kelly please

Not really i only ever saw these in american brands like ford any chevy.
Why would you even need a fucking cupholder?
Was this solely introduced because of drive ins?

Cause holding my coffee is haaaaaard

>Kelly
You mean Jenny? I don't think they allow any other female names in Korea.

Most drives are like what? 10-60 min? I don't need coffee or food for that. Even if i get something from the drive-in i just park somewhere and eat it. Same with long distance drives.

I want Kelly now :(

U can't chug coffee you wank
Idk about you, but coffee is best drunk slowly, and I don't wanna hold that shit my whole drive. Cup holders are useful

You are driving a ton at 40 miles per hour. Stop drinking coffee and concentrate on driving.

...

I'd like a tall black eye with a squirt of whipped cream.

Don't fucking bother. You never get it right

Driving is easy if you aren't a retard, but 90% of drivers are

Yes I do

why are gay people always so infatuated with Starbucks? There's plenty of small local coffee places that don't burn their beans to a crisp and still love fags.

Beans are over roasted

Can you give me directions to a real coffee shop.

I work at Starbucks. AMA

Same reason as women. The can hammer down an 800 calorie milkshake under the guise that it's coffee.

I don't know any good cafes that serve those atrocities

Gays love whatever is "cool" and "cultured"

Since you live in flyover land, starbucks is all they've got

I'm sorry, user

There are some fantastic local coffee places here though. Fuck, there's one next door to Starbucks #5824-B across the street from our office, it's no more expensive and tastes exponentially better yet our office gay always automatically goes for that overroasted garbage every time.

In my experience people are usually a little too quick to call the local mom & pop joint amazeballs

We’ve got and old timey roaster in my city that’s total dogshit, they get by on having a store that reeks of 100 year old beans and being “an institution”. Starbucks is no worse than that place and at least they take credit cards, and we have dozens of excellent 3rd wave shops whose only crime is having “hipster looking” employees, but some folks still support the gross place

Roasting well actually takes both experience and taste, something that “the local guy” isn’t guaranteed to have

where do you work

Sam Antonio Texas

>punch yourself in the face
>doesn't that hurt you?
>do you want it to hurt me Kevin?

stevia is a plant not a brand you moron

Are you a grill

Yup. On the rare occasion I go there I order a large black coffee and stare them in the eyes as their liberal arts community college GPA drops from 2.6 to 2.4

An Mucho Grande Jamaican Blend with Stevia, soymilk, and a shot of espresso, my good sir!

>amazeballs

There's definitely a few of those sorts of spots here but the place I frequent is a legit third-wave shop, to the point where they apparently recently bought their own private growing plot so they can directly control the entire process from start to finish.

At the very least I can drink their coffee without having to drown it in sugar and cream to make it marginally palatable which is more than I've ever been able to say about fucking Starbucks.

Nope

Yeah hello, can I get a motherfuckin' UHHHHHHHHHHH

Medium house blend, please. And no, I don't have room for cream or sugar, I like coffee.

goddamn you make me wet

>I like coffee.
Then why are you here at Starbucks, sir

Lold. Yeah, it's not exactly great, but I'm a passive fuck and will go there if a girl or coworker suggests it.

venti iced coffee, light ice, no sugar or cream

thanks

nothing. i hope your company dies.

Not soon enough

What the fuck do you accomplish by being such a stick-in-the-mud cocksucker? You sad nigger.

Well, it's not like he was spoiling anybody's appreciation of your hilarious joke.

>Hot grande mocha with two shots of espresso
>SO YOU WANT TWO SHOTS IN TOTAL CAUSE THE MOCHA ALREADY COMES WITH ESPRESSO SHOTS
>No, I want the shots that come with the drink and two additional shots
>OKAY YOUR TOTAL IS GOING TO BE $8.46

Why do employees do this? I ordered the drink, which comes with shots, why would a customer want to fuck with the existing shots

Were the fuck are you? I live in the UK and damn near every car here has at least 2 cupholders between the seats.

Coffee thermoses and bottled liquids are a thing, you know.

Because it's also possible to ask for one shot, and it's possible that a customer could simply be saying he wants the full two. Then he'd bitch about getting more than he asked for. You need to say two extra shots. Just be as specific as possible, because even if you aren't a complete moron some people are and the service has to deal with them.

I’ll have a black coffee and a green tea chai latte with skim milk for the lady.

I got one but I literally never go to starbucks
>shit coffee
>shit tea
>shit food
would rather swap it for a mcdicks card, at least they have good fries

do you just not drink things?

>driving in a straight line and not hitting things is hard
nigger are you retarded or something

A motherfuckin uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA ain't gonna happen bruh