Culinary confession thread

Culinary confession thread

I've only ever used a stove to make mac n cheese, grilled cheese sandwiches, heating up tortillas, heating up ramen, and heating up soup.

I eat the shells of sunflower seeds.

The Jack cheese isnt cheese :)

I think vegetables are disgusting and I only eat them for health reasons

I cook food that everyone loves but I can't be bothered to cook

sometimes if I'm desperate or lazy I will open a bag of Lays onto a small plate, grate cheddar over them and add some hot sauce, microwave it for 45 secs and have ghetto nacho-cheese

I like to molest small children while I cook

cooking is womens work faggot.

sounds soggy

>he eats vegetables
Next you'll be telling me that you eat fruit, too.

I don't wash my hands when handling raw chicken
a quick rinse is all you are getting out of me

Seriously, what's wrong with you?

I eat pumpkin seed shells whenever they are offered to me (the seeds,) but I find sunflower shells really unsuitable for eating

I break my angel hair pasta in half because it fits in the pot better. I give no fucks

I don't eat.

I'm obese. My goto lazy meal is pizza sandwiches. I literally just order double pepperoni pizza double cheese pizza, then take a slice, layer it with salami, cheddar, bacon, fries, ranch, and stack another slice on it. I'll eat that maybe 4 times a week.

I used to suck seatbelts.

Same.

my nigger

I love kraft sawdust parmesan that comes in the green jar.

It's no substitute for real parm, and I'd never use it in certain recipes. But hell yeah, it's gonna go on my white trash pizza and pasta.

I take money that's been left in self service checkouts.

I go to the all you can eat sushi buffet and pick apart the rolls and only eat the meat and avacado. It's like getting an unlimited amount of sushimi for $9

I used to do the same until I had a gastrointestinal blockage the size of a baseball that I passed.

That was 13 years ago, and the lining of my intestines, and my anus has yet still to fully recover.

I only cook instant rice. I'm just going to put stew over it anyway, I see no need to go through the trouble of cooking normal rice.

Kekd

Women's work is housecleaning and fucking. Cooking actually requires real skill and is therefore more suited to men.

I can't use a cutting board without it having a grip.
Then shit goes popping all over the damn kitchen and all over the stove top. Million dollar solution when?

Post pics.

I used to hide the pickles under my tongue

I cant make a proper mother sauce. I can make a roux, i know the process for adding drippings and liquids, but it always separates into an oily substance and a lumpy delicious paste after sitting for 5 minutes

I'm terrified of using a mandoline

i straight up use balsamic instead of white vinegar or alternatives for every single sauce i make

Lower your temp

I can't remember the last time I washed my chefs knife. I just rinse it under water and wipe it with a tea towel. It's the only cooking utensil I own that I won't put in the dishwasher.

post a pic of your bottle; chances are its "balsamico" and not balsamico, coloured white vinegar

>I have never had ketchup, mayo, mustard, relish, horseradish, or anything other than BBQ sauce
>I have never had hot dogs
>I have never had actual soup before -- this includes canned soup. The only thing that resembles soup that I can say I had is instant ramen
>I have never had chili
>I have never had stew
>I have never had sour cream
>I have never had 1000 island
>I have never had seafood of any kind
>I have never had Little Debbie pastries
>I have never had ceasar dressing, or any other type of salad dressing
>I have never had eggs
>I haven't had milk since I was 11 and can't stand the taste or smell of it -- I use almond milk instead
>I will never eat food that can't be eaten with a fork. The only exceptions are pizza, hamburgers, and ribs. If I need to eat chicken thighs or something similar, I do my best to shred the pieces off and just throw away everything else

I'm 24 years old now.

>>I have never had ketchup, mayo, mustard, relish, horseradish,
>eats pizza
wut?

also you are missing out on eggs, big time

Marinara sauce isn't ketchup.
Though I wouldn't be able to tell you that really. I don't like marinara sauce unless it's on pizza (never had breadsticks)

if you break it slowly it doesn't go all over the place and make a mess.

Stop doing that please

KYS

when i'm cooking for just myself i put heaps of black pepper in my food, to the point that it hurts to eat.

I go to McDonalds frequently and always get the McGangbang

>potato chips
>nachos

Dude come on