This got published. What's YOUR excuse?

She really likes talking about cocks, that woman. I suspect this was written by a gay man.

Her bio is bizarrely detailed so I retract my suspicions. sandrahill.net/bio.html

if this is all it takes to get published, clearly i need to be writing the crap too

Fucking Christ. This would've been enough for me to have topped myself a few months back.

It's unbelivably awful; like the Holocaust, Thatcherism and the priniciple of inherited rule condensed into a single, mangy black hole that can attract airbourne diseases and billionairesses from half a universe away.

Please tell me this is self-published. I have the revolver ready. Just tell me. Hell, secretly I might wish it's not self-published. Leaving would have never been easier!

>a really big man!

Go on...

>He. Did. Not. Care.

This has to be partially comedy right?
It's hilarious.
>vangel turns cowboy. Yeehaw!
That's Pynchonesque.

Romance readers are the thirstiest market out there. If you want to get paid to write fiction, smut has the lowest barrier to entry. They love tropes, which helps explain the weird hodgepodge of shit in OP's pic. Writing quality comes second (or third or fourth or never) for these readers.

Source: I've self-published smut and genre fiction. The smut sells itself, anything else is a major uphill battle.

I have none.

>Cnut
pure genius

Cnut was literally a name used back in the Dark Ages around the British Isles and also around Scandinavia.

To be fair, two noted literary agents did claim to read the entirety of my first novel before rejecting it

;__;

>All the people in the thread who don't know Sandra Hill

Hundreds of thousands of books are published every year.
Only like 1% sell above 1000 copies.

I feel like there's been a clear degradation, though. Anne Rice looks like fucking Cervantes compared to most "urban fantasy."

At least its not pretentious pseudo-intellectual wankage written for mindless dolts who "started with the Greeks."

idiots start with the greeks
geniuses start with the sumerians

>vangel
>cnut

>not starting with the aborigional dreamtime, 48,000 BCE

God is dead, we killed him. Also post the PDF

Holy fuck, I needed a good laugh.

Shit like this is why nobody take Continental Philosophy seriously.

tfw not smart enough for cnut siggurdsson

>frigg's-day

frigg off, cnut

So did "Moon People"

Sweet Jesus. I'm 5000 times more likely to stub my toe than I am to crack open a book and even I know that's atrocious. I mean, fuck. Content aside, who proofread that?

>a really big man!

for you

this was proven fake but it's still great to read

Wow. '...you can see the launch real good at her place. It's also on the water and it's real close to the cape and she really decks the place out.'

this is the peak of post-metamodernist literature

He. Did. Not. Care.

one of the most prolific germanic kings in history was named cnut.

>I'm 5000 times more likely to stub my toe than I am to crack open a book
why are you here?

I work in a toe stub factory.

...

No, because we're only interested in literature written by humans

Would you?

for you

>Hilda clutched at the bedsheets with lust and ecstasy and her hands.
i've said it before, this is too funny to be unintentional

Go back to Re ddit, what you just said was 10x worse then the book. Just end it t b h