How do I make mead?

Totse is for old school internet folk. I remember cutting my shit posting teeth on those forums. I miss it too.

pic very related

Veeky Forums hasn't been homebrewing (aside from a few of us) for years now. I think most of them moved to /diy/. The extent of Veeky Forums's knowledge is: add sugar to water and yeast and put it in an unsanitized jug with a balloon with a pin prick over the top.

Also, starting a thread with, "any good recipies" is lazy as fuck. Do your own research and then post something you think sounds good with specific questions. We're all drunk here; nobody's going to go out of their way to spoon feed you in a thread we have multiple times a week. There are lots of homebrewing websites and forums out there, and they're not hard to find. Also, a proper airlock probably costs maybe a dollar more than a pack of balloons.

Why don't you post new fucking pictures instead of the same one for months again and again

The recipe doesn't change, asshole. You want next month's picture, cause it's that fucking picture.. again. You stupid cunts either need to make it or shut the fuck up.

here you go, prick. This x 2.

115L of water
30Kg Sugar
1326ml tomato paste (8.5cans)
5tsp Citric Acid
380g Yeast
1 tsp Epsom salt
2 campden tablets in water

Basic meads are just honey, water, and yeast. It makes a pretty dry white wine like drink, but it's still pretty good. Takes a long time to get to a drinkable point though, typically 6 months after bottling it.

Mead made with fruit and spices tastes better than a straight honey wine. I love orange spice mead.

I've made this one before:
gotmead.com/forum/showthread.php/8262-Ancient-Orange-Cinnamon-amp-Clove-Mead

I used only one clove, and the nutmeg and all spice. I also used a wine yeast instead of a bread yeast. You can order wine yeast on amazon if you don't have a local brew store. Again though, it has to sit for a few months in the bottle before it starts to get good. You can drink it right when it's done, but it's not as good as waiting for it.

I constantly have mead in rotation so I can drink my old stock and replace it every couple months.

Have fun, and remember to sanitize (not sterilize) your equipment.

You have a heavy blonde beard, dont you?

Redish brown actually.

go to ebay, type in "mead brewing"...it will autofill with "mead brewing kit"...look through the results. usually they put the relevant one at the top. look at which ones are selling, which have good feedback, etc.

go from there. sounds pretty easy. i've thought of brewing mead but have been too lazy. i think if i were full 100% nordic i would do it, or would already know how, but i'm actually a vietnigger born into slavery as the stereotypical asian-who-gets-nagged-by-his-parents-to-succeed so i've completely lost the will to do anything with my life, let alone put in effort to make mead.

always. You guys need to break the stereotype. Just so people don't wish you would live in a wood chipper.

You're nice people, but I can't help but hate you as much as Hitler. Your facial hair makes me a monster.

>You guys need to break the stereotype. Just so people don't wish you would live in a wood chipper.
What?

Hairy faced fat fuck ups that like talking about 'mead'. You're like a Frier Tuck caricature that makes me want to punch my monitor.

Well have fun being upset, I guess. I'm going to go open and drink a bottle of blueberry mead and forget you even exist.

Something that tastes all yeasty and tongue gross. While i drink vodka I've made the night before. It doesn't stick to your tongue like a toilet rag.

I even find blueberry muffins disappointing. No idea what you're choking down.

Not sure what brew you've been drinking that tastes "yeasty" and "tongue gross", but meads are like any wine. Sweet, semi-sweet, or dry. Fruity or not depending on what went into it.

You seem to be pretty unreasonably upset. I hope you find some peace in life.

I'm sorry to hear that. The blueberries I grow are very flavorful. They make a great addition to semi-sweet mead.

When you under ferment a wash or a whatever you call it, it has live yeast in the drink. Yeast attenuation is hard to manage. It's like managing yeast in bread. You need to make sure all the yeast is dead, or the bread, or fucking mead tastes like shit. Killing your fungus is key.

Huh, I've just always siphoned off the mead and let it settle until the mead clears and there's no yeast cake on the bottom of the carboy anymore.

I use to filter it, but since I'm the only one drinking it, I stopped as I don't have a problem with unfiltered yeast and other than my very first time, I've never had an issue with yeast in the bottles.

For any first timers reading this, do make sure you don't have any active yeast when you go to bottle. The corks will pop out and make a mess; or worse, the bottles can explode.

Ferment to .990 SG and let that shit settle. It tastes like an asshole that has an asshole. When you ferment to dry, nothing matters because all of the yeast is dead.

I get your point, but none of my dry meads taste bad, IMO.

Good. I used to make bread with yeasty shit droppings in them, your mead is probably clarified in the same way.

Anyone got a good recipe for sweet fruited mead? Preferably for a small batch. I want to try making some ever since I saw the prices for honey at Sam's club

Never brewed anything before either

growforagecookferment.com/how-to-make-a-gallon-of-mead/
Haven't made this one, but it looks decent. Clover honey will work just fine if that's what you have access to. Just be sure it's actual 100% honey and not some cheap shit mixed with corn syrup or something (I don't shop at walmart/sam's club, but it wouldn't surprise me to find out they carry shit like that).

Buy mixed frozen berries and let them thaw and come up to room temp before putting them in the must (this could take several hours). You can also heat the berries in a pot until you start to get a syrup from the juices of the berries.

Please do yourself a favor and order a rubber stopper, air lock, and wine yeast off amazon or something instead of using the balloon method or some other janky half-assed airlock. A proper air lock keeps bugs and bacteria out of your mead.

It might not taste that great right after fermentation stops. Mead is best after it's been aged a few months in a bottle.

thought this thumbnail was cum-in-bottles guy.

Don't forget yeast nutrient, and plenty of aeration.

I miss totse too. It was the best source of anecdotal advice on drugs and shoplifting.

>using Veeky Forums knockoffs

ISHYGDDT

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Just decide to do it.
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