I'm so fucking sick of being an alcoholic. I drink every single day...

>If you really wanted to quit, you would.

I was a drunk for about 15 years, I agree with this.

There was lots of times I'd SAY i wanted to quit, but there was always that lingering thought in the back of mind like, "Well sure I'll quit, but...what about new years eve? Or your birthday? I mean come on, you got to drink on that right?"

It wasn't until i really did say to myself, "I'm fucking done. Not only do I want it to stop, this HAS to stop or I'm a fucking dead man," did I actually stop.

I guess the bitch is getting to that point. Lots of people say you have to hit bottom before you'll reach this point, I dunno. Lots of people never do and die or stay drunks their whole lives. It's not a fun condition.

No, It's okay, I appreciate it. I'm beginning to get strange feelings, and I feel like a lot of it could be a worsening anxiety, but a lot of it feels physical. Sometimes I feel like I'm going to have a stroke or seizure, but I've never had either, so I can't tell. I've gone to the hospital a few times out of fear

I'm either at that point or 95% there, but I have always been a hypochondriac, and I am afraid of what will happen if I go cold turkey.

I guess what I'm getting at is "Should I go cold turkey and risk the anxiety and possible withdrawals, or should I do something else?"

Well I don't think it's any surprise to you that you need to get your condition under fucking control. Believe it or not, it's not only your responsibility, but your obligation to yourself and everyone around you. There may be a ton of things that happened to you in your life that you didn't ask for that caused this, but that doesn't matter, it's your job to fix this. If you won't, nobody will.

Your problems will also get worse, no matter what else positive happens in your life, until you do.

Get in therapy, find a therapist that really works for you, and examine the shit out of your life and what things from the past are causing you to enact these behaviors now.

>I'm either at that point or 95% there

then you're not there.

> I am afraid of what will happen if I go cold turkey

who gives a fuck? You know what? It's not going to be as bad as your horrible life of drinking and puking and shitting your pants, and driving yourself fucking bonkers right now.

Not saying it wouldn't have been hard but I doubt the behavioral symptoms equate between smoking and being a full blown alcoholic.
Sure, you love a smoke after a meal and a shag and its part of who you are...to everyone you know. But alcoholism is crippling and especially shameful. You got your "tisk tisks", whatever, for smoking but that can also be a social thing as well for you. but not full blown alchos. Its hidden, and sometimes not even that, just never spoken about and you are left feeling constantly conflicting emotions like " how dare these people judge me, they dont know who I am or what Ive been through". or "god they must think Im so pathetic".
Not really similar.

Easiest way and please don't take it as a joke answer is to slowly taper and replace it with smack.
You don't really feel like drinking when a dope addict.
And being a junkie ia alot better than an alcoholic

Lots of times. It's he'll. Last night I was having bad withdrawals and started to think people were calling my name. I drink about a liter of vodka a day.

i had a seizure, passed out and hit my head on my tv
now i have a black eye and my head hurts

Was that when you quit and got withdrawals? Did you feel the seizure coming? How did you feel beforehand?

Long term alcohol use greatly affects your mind. I remember before I quit I was basically suicidal, I thought my life was basically collapsing and the world was trying to kill me. After a few months of being sober, I realized that my life isn't great, no, but it wasn't anywhere close to as bad as I thought. I was actually surprised to have emotions again after about 6 months sobriety.

It's not a huge surprise that if you consume massive quantities of a depressant on a regular basis, that it'll make you depressed and out of touch with reality. It also tends to blow any problem you have way the fuck out of proportion. Whatever you may be feeling now, I guarantee you after a while of sobriety you'll look back on it and wonder what in the hell you could have possibly been thinking.

I don't know about smoking, as I've never done it more than socially, and haven't had a cigarette in weeks (because I don't go out,) but I feel what you described in the other part. It also has withdrawals that can kill you, and that's scary.

So you would suggest just trying to go cold turkey, and provided I don't die (which I honestly don't think I will, I'm just afraid of DT or seizures) just stay off of it for good?

no idea, can't remember it at all
just woke up with a black eye and put the pieces together
usually seize when im sleeping but i have had them before when awake and could tell right before i was about to have one

not the same guy but you can have seizures from withdrawal. When I'm waiting for a bed in detox they tell me not to stop drinking because of the risk.

I've had one but it was when I drank four pints of vodka. Last thing I remember was my legs shaking violently. Woke up ten hours later covered in piss

>So you would suggest just trying to go cold turkey,

Yeah, whatever happens, it's not going to be as bad as what your life is like now. If you're so bad off that you die from it, then you were going to die anyway booze or no.

leg dude here. I get that. Im surprised Im still alive. Im amazed at what my body has withstood. I get this pressure in the side of my head sometimes and a weird ringing in one ear, im sure im about to have a stroke...but I wouldnt die, oh no. I will end up a diaper wearing wheelchair bound drooling corpse eating baby food till someone mercifully puts me out of my misery.

btw with leg guy here. If he quits or not, it doesn't matter. He's a goner.

Don't let it get to this point.

You are asking the wrong board

How much were you drinking leg guy?

I get the pressure, and I FEEL like I get tinnitus when I haven't been drinking for a while, but mostly I am just questioning my mental state. I feel hazy, and I have a constant fear that something bad is just about to happen. Like at any moment my vision is going to go black and I'm going to collapse. It never happens though, and sometimes these feelings persist even when I'm drinking, but usually not. I know it needs to stop.

leg guy here. pic related
were? i drink at least 20 standard drinks a day (boy am I ever cool)

what about visions. Like when you close your eyes or out of the corner of your eye?
I know the absolute dread youre talking about. How are you socially?

I, OP, drink about 11 standard drinks per day, but rarely more than that. Once or twice a week, I drink 6-7.

That's pretty much exactly what I was experiencing before I quit. It's not actually real, this is booze's long term effects on your brain.

You might still have problems if you quit, but you'll feel like a fucking 10 ton weight has been taken off you, and all your problems then will seem like a piece of cake.

Shit man. I've been doing that for almost two years. It's ruined my life and now I'm an unemployed fag living with his family n detox every Fkn month

OP GET OFF THE RIDE.

I see flickers of things in the corner of my eyes occasionally. Always at work, when I'm not drinking, and I have a general feeling that my vision doesn't keep up with my body. I'll move my head, and I'll get disoriented for a second while my eyes 'catch up.' When I close my eyes, I feel like I can almost still see what I was just looking at. It just doesn't feel quite real.

Socially, I'm seen as usually likable, but definitely eccentric. I'm irritable at work, but I work autonomously (in a lab,) so I'm not bothered too much.

Thanks, guys. I really appreciate it.

fuck off with this shit to /b/ where it belongs.
why the fuck do the mods not just move this shit, it doesn't belong on Veeky Forums

Ive actually got it pretty good where I am. Cheap rent, neet bux etc.
I just cant handle people. I Dont know if I care more or care less now. I was such a naive child and teen and was taken advantage of so much that I hate myself for it and know that ive wisend up a little I cant bring myself to trust anyone at all.
Step father hated me as a child and mother is kind of insane due to seeing her own mother and little brother die in a car crash they were all in. She lost most of her teeth but thats about it. So I cant really resent her for being... "distant".

sure thing, mate.

Np man. If you're really struggling go see a doctor. They will give you benzos to help wean you off. It's like booze in pill form.

But if you have an addictive personality be very carful. I was hooked on them and the withdrawals were horrifying.

>But if you have an addictive personality be very carful

he's a drunk so it's a good bet he does have an addictive personality.

Don't try meds or suppliments or anything, like dumbfuck here pointed out, you'll just get hooked on those. Just quite, be done with it, move on with your fucking life.

Ex girlfriend of an alcoholic here. If it's not too much, I want to ask you guys:
-What happened that made you first start thinking you really had a problem?
-What was the event that finally got you to really take not drinking seriously? How long did it take you to stop once you realized you had a real problem?

getting stuck with a shit girlfriend is a wake up call.

some dumb broad that you do not even fuck, but brings you a bottle when you cannot stand. sheesh. Flashbacks.

For me?

OP here. I started missing a lot of work, and I failed 3/4 classes for a semester. Also, I kept embarrassing myself in front of my friends, and I gradually realized that I wasn't being taken seriously. The biggest 1-shot event was probably the university thing.

The health effects are what got me to the point of quitting, which is where I am now. As I mentioned, I am a hypochondriac, and have been for as long as I can remember. I don't know how long it will take me to stop.

I know it's a shitty post but when taken responsibly benzos help you come off alcohol. They work on the same brain reseptors. I've been hospitalized five times for booze. In a mental hospital medical detox. While you wait for a bed doctors will tell you NOT to stop drinking until you get there.

I've been on about ten different benzos over the years man. I only got hooked on them when a doctor from a shady clinic gave me a bunch of them. If used properly they are a god send

>-What happened that made you first start thinking you really had a problem?
Not remembering anything, ever, and my real friends stopped talking to me
>-What was the event that finally got you to really take not drinking seriously?
I was about to lose my job and my house
>How long did it take you to stop once you realized you had a real problem?
A decade

To ex gf user

One day I was sitting in traffic and thought to myself "holy shit Im an alcoholic." ever since then I haven't got the thought out my head. The doctors won't call me it. They call it substance use disorder. Fuck that. I've been on meth, crack, speed, dope, mushrooms, weed, heroin. Not hooked on any one. I'm a god damn alcoholic.

If you really want to stop take a visit to your doctor and have them do blood work. I guarantee you haven't done that and when you find out that your blood pressure, cholesterol, and liver enzymes are through the roof because of booze it will probably scare you into submission.

>-What happened that made you first start thinking you really had a problem?
I always knew I was an alcoholic. I mean...from about age 22 or so, I knew it, but I just didn't give a shit. I figured with all the problems I had, alcohol was the least of my worries, and I honestly enjoyed it for a long time. I actually don't even regret my drinking days, as I think I learned a lot about myself, and life even, and I think alcohol actually did ultimately change me for the better. In my mid thirties however, it struck me that it just wasn't doing anything anymore. For probably the last 5 years of my addiction, I never once enjoyed it. I was always mad at myself for drinking the day after, I never thought, "man, that was fun!" It just started taking it's toll on me, there was no fun at all, just all pain and regression.

>-What was the event that finally got you to really take not drinking seriously? How long did it take you to stop once you realized you had a real problem?

My quitting was a long time coming, I knew I wanted to for quite a while, I kept flirting with the idea of going to rehab. The my last drunk, I drank like 9 bottles of sake, 2 bottles of vodka, a few bottles of wine, and assorted stale beers I found in nooks and crannies, all over the course of 2 or 3 days, and I still wasn't as drunk as I wanted to be. I took some painkillers too, but they never did anything for me. Not sure how to describe it, but after this I just realized this was the end, if I continue with this, it's not going to be pretty. If i wanted to live, and do the things I wanted to do, this HAD to stop.

So I stopped drinking then, and went to rehab, went to aa for a year or so (have mixed feelings of that), and haven't drank since.

1. Buying boxed wine and after a break up fucking every woman who would let me leading to ALOT of fucked up if not interesting conflicts(you know how it is)
2. Vague, Interpretive question. Not sure what you mean. " not take drinking it seriously"?
3. Still chuggin'

>alcoholics

At least if youre gonna get addicted to something, get addicted to a high iq substance.

Like maymays, right?

What would you recommend

Oxymoron aside, you don't really get a choice about what you get addicted to

Where can I get oxymoron. I hear that oxys are a high iq drug

Video games

you know your an alcoholic when you'd rather death than to chug another bunch of hard liquor, don't understand people who drink beer, are living in your own filth, pissed yourself for who knows how's many days, haven't showered in weeks, are paranoid as fuck. Haven't slept in days? That sucks. Haven't eaten in days? That sucks. Can barely walk? That sucks. Hey man that hand sanitizer look real fucking tasty. Smoking crack with homeless people in the alley outside of a shelter sounds real good. Man my asshole feels like its turned inside out from having to side on the toilet all the time

And all of that sounds better than quitting drinking cause stopping feels like death.

I remember my insides always felt scorched. Like...literally burnt, just about every organ I had felt that way, especially the intestines.

Also drunk driving was fun as fuck. I don't think anybody other than a drunk would relate. Somehow driving to mcdonalds, wasted off your ass was like a magical adventure. You obviously never even think about how fucking dangerous it is for you and every other fucking car you come by.

Naltrexone

driving drunk is awesome. I caused a four car pile up when I blacked out at at wheel. Slammed Into a car at a red light

Naltrexone doesn't work for me. Was prescribed it at detox. Heard it gives some people a buzz. I would just drink on it.vthe mental obsession with booze was too overpowering

The fucked up thing is even though you caused that mayhem, a drunk genuinely does think shit like that was fun as hell at the time.

I guess I'm lucky that I constantly drove drunk, and never once got a wreck. I know drunks who aren't allowed to drive for another 30 years before they even get a chance to get their license back. Or...have killed people and all that too.

One guy who used to live by me had like over 40 duis.

Started in the 70s. By the late 80s, he drove his car right into the back of a parade wagon that was driving around a girl's softball team, killed two girls.

Got out of jail in the early 2000s, within 10 days ran over some jogger, right back to jail.

Dude was so drunk all the time, I have no doubt none of this even phased him.

Fuck this guy gets it

I remember being hospialiazed with a dude who lost his license from drinking too much, got a bunch of DUI's was put under house arrest, would make his own booze in a jug, breathalzlier put in his car, would time his drinks to blow sober

And he was the nicest dude. Man I miss being in the hospital

I knew a guy who would just carry a compressed air tank around, hooked up a low pressure regulator, and just shot air into his car to start it.

I used to pride myself on my drunk driving skill. Though towards the end, I'd make weird mistakes. I'd sober up and notice even though it was raining all day, I must have drove to the store with the windows down the entire time, and left them down even when I got out.

One time I woke up from passing out, then immediately got in the car to go to the liquor store, then halfway there I realized there were two unopened liquor store bags in the passenger seat with full bottles in each. I read the receipt and one said it was bought like 4 hours ago, the other was bought like 2 hours ago.

You sound like me. And that's so clever. Im a apprentice mechanic fag and I wouldn't even know how to start a car like that.

Yup, it was fun at first. Now my car is sitting covered in snow, dead, uninsured, because I spent thousands on booze instead and now unemployed on NEET bux. What started as fun.

I remember the liquor store I went to was in a supermarket, like way in the back, you had to walk all the way through the supermarket to get to it.

So I bought a bottle and started walking out, and towards the front by the registers, out of nowhere this homeless looking black lady just appeared, and she looked at the brown bag in my hand and smiled ear to ear, and ran up to me and just started fucking dancing.

So...i just started dancing with her. Like, there had to be at least 50 people around us. And i'm just dancing with this homeless black lady, and we popped the top off the bottle and were sipping and dancing in the middle of a supermarket checkout.

Every single person in the store, just pretended to not see us. Even the goddamn security guard.

I don't even remember what happened next, just the black lady was gone and I was driving home sipping off my bottle.

That was just one of those moments that even today I'm like....what the hell man....

You won't die if you quit. You consume enough daily that you are firmly in "drinking problem" territory, but you should be able to taper down over a week or two without experiencing the worst withdrawal symptoms. Probably just some stomach cramps, insomnia and irritability.

One of the reasons why people have drinking problems in the first place is because they can't just "taper down". If it were that easy, they would have done that long ago.

Besides, you can still experience withdrawals even when tapering down. Hunter S Thompson was so bad off, that even though he was given intravenous alcohol in an IV during a surgery, he still went through WDs and went into a coma.

Lol wtf did I just read.

I remember being so drunk I thought it was a good idea to smoke crack outside the homeless shelter. Was all fucked walking back and see two natives fucking Ina door way. Dude just looks at me and gives thumbs up

My buddy was given beer in the hospital after a leg injury. Also drunk. And he only drinks 6 or 7 tall cans a beer a day.

One time I got pissed and stalked around the neighbourhood looting shit like bungee cords off fences and prancing around like a ninja. I got the fabulous idea of stealing mail, and there was this letter to a college girl from her mom. I altered the letter taped it up then put it back in the mailbox.

are you in Canada? I used to live near a mission and wander around at 5AM. One night I was running for some reason and a bunch of dumpster natives thought I was in trouble and started making bird calls at me. Idk how they thought they could help but I'm pretty sure it was nice of them.

>can’t stop drinking
>I don’t think I’m willing to accept that my drinking problem is at that level yet
I think that’s called “denial”. Go to AA at minimum.

The problems you risk later in life from drinking combined with the money you could have had if you weren’t spending it on alcohol will make life harder still.

I had my first withdrawal seizure last week, thank God my neighbor drove me to the ER and didn't call an ambulance. Got my ativan script refilled and doing a progressive taper with it. Let's go 4 days sober.

Just fucking stop for a month or two.
Idk, I used to be an alcoholic, but I quit for some months and just went back to social drinking or a couple of beers at the end of the day. Going crazy drunk lost its appeal on me, always feeling sore/dry mouth/hungover/sluggish, shitty meme. Got into hiking, camping, meditating, and running around the same time, maybe that had something to do with it

How long were you an alcky for?

4 years. Urges went away mostly after a couple weeks sober, if I feel like I'm craving too much again I take a month off the stuff

congrats, i'm at about the same point you described about it just losing it's appeal. I've been at it for 10 years and i'm just fucking worn out on it.

you probably hallucinated her and you were dancing by yourself