Tfw I literally don't have the balls to live life the way I want

>tfw I literally don't have the balls to live life the way I want
>feel like I have to read shitloads of boring old books or else people will call me a pleb
>feel like I have to go through SICP even when I find it boring
>took me over 6 months to grind through Nicholas Nickleby and the Brothers Karamazov- they were boring as fuck
>procrastinating reading great expectations- halfway through and it's boring as fuck

I truly believe that my tastes reflect much more intelligence than some stupid "literary intellectual's" citation circlejerk idea of brothers Karamazov having "profound insights". I feel like I will always be trapped in to reading stuff I am told to read even though I believe that boredom is an incredible bullshit detector.

It's so demoralising to realise that women have everything handed to them with preferential treatment and career success is 99 % networking, fitting in with normies, being judged by normie committees, and bullshitting. How can anyone give a fuck? It's near impossible.

I wish I had the type of autism that let me work on one thing for 10 hours in a row. I resent my lack of will to do this.

Coffee ruins my sleep and therefore gym strength. I will have to give it up soon and what will I have left to do when my main hobby is sitting around in public to feel less alone, drinking coffee, browsing Veeky Forums, feeling sad about life? Barely anything.

>when you randomly make eye contact with a woman and she has that blank expression and you know deep down she is thinking, "Ewww, he's not Chad, get away from me creep!"

I read history books on my phone on train rides. I'm not sure whether this "efficiency" of reading in spare minutes is dehumanising or smart.

NIce blog post, friendo :^)

you sound lazy, fuck off, you don't deserve anything

Read some American lit instead

L I T E R A L L Y

Why do some people take these Chad/Stacy shit seriously?

The same mental facilities that make religion possible perhaps? That and autists taking stuff literal.

Stop going to /pol/ or listening to Peterson. If you don't want to read a book, don't. How is this not obvious to you?

Because if I don't read shitloads of classic novels I will be called a pleb.

I am not a Peterson fan although his bullshit seems to have a good intention.

Look, if you don't want to read boring books one after the other, read some simple fiction books to the end. What rekindles my want to slog through nonfiction books is by completing some small fiction books, makes me feel like I did something, and it also helps me see what great writers do when they write. Try some Raymond Chandler, nobody is going to whack you over the head if you don't read it.

I liked Raymond chandler in the 3 novels of his I read.

But people think I'm a pleb for not reading war and peace. And the idiot. And Don Quixote. And the Iliad and odyssey even though translated poems are THE PLEBBIEST thing in existence

How can I cope? I know this is stupid. I fully see no point in it. But it still tortures me

Look, why are you taking the opinions of people online seriously? Do you let the words of others get into your skin that often?

Even in real life, if someone smashes you over the head with some knowledge they gained from a book. Learn from the experience, read up on what they read, and get better over time. There really isn't a goal or time limit that I'm aware of to life.

What's even more absurd is that I fully recognise that reading books no longer makes up all of intellectua activity. We have maths, physics etc. And book knowledge (from prose books, not textbooks) is usually superficial or pop sci level knowledge.

And most philosophy is charlaranic.

...

>instead of typing out all this whining OP could have done something with himself

this desu

this. You're a fucking embarrassment. You don't have the confidence to do what you want, and instead of saying "oh, I'll try harder" you just jerk off in front of your computer with the lights off and bitch about how everybody else has it sooo much easier than you. Yeah, I'll bet that's how the world works.

Do you have any idea how hard I've had to work to be even remotely normal? And I still suck at it. But that doesn't mean it's not worth it. People like you piss me off. It's not about "hurr hurr if you work hard you could be bourgeois too," some people have luck, there are always going to be people that have it better than you. But guess what? Who fucking cares? It's about doing what you can with what you got. And you know what? People react to that.

People see your struggle with adversity and acknowledge that, even if they're kinda bad at it.

But you- you are a failure. You bitch and bitch and bitch, but you don't want to change. Because change means acknowledging your responsibility. You think I have fun thinking of how much I fucked up before? Of course not. But I had too, you have to, to change. But you don't want that. You just want to be supported in your idea that all the problems you have are because other people. because the world didn't help you.

Fuck you. I hate you.

Fuck you OP. Those books were awesome. You must be some 15 year old gamer who read a Warcraft novel and thinks he can comprehend all literature. Go grow up a bit, eat nutritious food, put the vidya away, exercise and live before you dismiss what you don't understand as "boring".

this exists

You might be clinically depressed. Get diagnosed by a doctor. I've had the typical anxiety/depression issues most of my life, and I chalked up my incompetence as me being a lazy piece of shit.
I got some medication I needed and a couple sessions of quick therapy and bang, I was a normal person again.
You'll feel motivated and alive again. Get some help.

You clearly spend far too much time on Veeky Forums. The overwhelming amount of well-read patricians in real life will be glad to help you as long as you're willing to learn, read what you want, nobody gives a fuck.

What a strange post.

Reading for prestige won't get your very far – you'll be able to superficially impress an unsuspecting companion, but you won't be able to form a genuine bond over your mutual love of literature.

Classics are considered great for their ability to deepen our internal monologue, widen our emphatic horizon and aid us in our ever despairing soul search – to understand human nature in all it's glory and all it's debasedness, to see the flawed mechanics of our fragile collective stripped naked to the bone, to see the phantoms of a magnanimous empire; to revel in these elements and it's stylistic expression is what makes any art truly great.

As for your depression, you can either take up that which is in your power alone and live a life of principle and honor, or you can be a passive puppet of fortune, bitching and moaning while being scattered around like the clouds.

Ah, and the women – you seem to resent their natural affinity for a partner that is confident and attractive. It's basic biology, with a primal urge to breed healthy children. Going beyond that, women are primarily creatures dominated by emotion. That is your key to success, though you'll only dig your own grave with cunning manipulation.

You need to study philosophy seriously. I don't care whether it's Plato, Kierkegaard or Nietzsche – stop being a basic bitch and start broadening your vision of life.

>if i dont read a shit tom of novels people will call me a pleb
where do you live? no one thinks more of you because you read books, it is all in your head