Al/ck/ - That sound when you crack open a fresh fifth edition

>you mean feel like chad but actually autist when drunk, unabomber when sober?
Literally me, lel

>tfw more autist than unabomber when sober
Atleast yoiu guys are my friends

Do I drink the Spanish wine or the Chilean wine tonight, boys?

Chilian because new world implies fancy

spanish, always, fuck new world wines

i mean i drink them
but fuck em

I've already filled them, but I'm asking to see if I was right.
Fancy: Chivas Regal
Reg: Beefeater
Reg:Wild Turkey
Reg: Christian Bro's Brandy
I also have an assortment of amaretto, rum, vermouth, cognac, vodka, and sake.

i'll fight u

to get my (you)'s

No idea desu, I’ll drink anything from anything. Al/ck/ isn’t likely to relate to your plight

The fucking turkey and brandy are identical in color. I can only tell them apart by the ever lowering level of the turkey since I drink that shit like it's liquid satisfaction.

Please don't im drunk and justn want to pretend i have friends for a while be nice

Finished a bottle about 10 hours ago, eaten, napped for about 6 hours and I'm still drunk as fuck
Why did this bottle hit me so hard? Usually I'd have sobered up by now.

How do people get hammered off of heavy beers? I normally drink 12-20 light beers a night, the other day I bought a sixer of sam adams vanilla porter and by the last one I had such a disgusting film in my mouth that I just stopped drinking and went to bed.

ahahahahahahahaahh wtf dude you...

you..decanted all this regular ass booze...
i don't get it
i guess it's fine but wtf man

I'm not quite on the level of the al/ck/ veterans. I'm still trying to glamorize my ethanol coping mechanism with bitters and fancy glass.

Fugg, now it's a tie.

how fancy does liquor have to be to be stored in a $5 decanter? I saved the $10 decanter for the chivas.

anyone had that ballast point big eye? fucking shit is undrinkable after three, i get so bloated and all i want to do is eat onion rings to get that foul taste out of my mouth, end up not even buzzed

Don't strive to be like us, are you fucking retarded? None of us are fucking happy, get out while you can for fucks sake.

i have never decanted anything even wine so i dont know, i open the cap and chug
i just think wine is meant to be decanted, liquor is just pointless to decant my brotha from anotha mutha

Makes me wonder if that is the secret to beating alcoholism.

Jesus, you really must be more miserable than me. It takes some shit to turn someone into an alcoholism elitist.

I’m only allowing myself to drink wine or whiskey, and from the second closest source. It makes me feel much worse, I have to walk and it costs more. I don’t know wtf else to do, so I’m hoping I can punish myself happy.
fug. This will no doubt end well.

I am not an elitist by any means. I drink shitty light beer, but if I could go back in time and change things, I would have never started drinking in the first place. It isn't a point of pride, I just hate people trying to glorify being an al/ck/. If you're at a point where you can give it up and not think twice, seriously do it user.

He’s right, this is not something you’d want for yourself, toying with it is precarious. You’re not an alcoholic and you won’t want to be if you do ever become one. Alchies don’t decant their booze, the vessel by which it’s delivered is of precisely zero importance to anyone here. There are alcohol threads minus the alcoholics yaknow

I make myself go to the gym after every night of drinking, it doesn't really help me stop, but at least i'm doing something positive. At least that's how I look at it.

we're all one family here, that's how I feel anyway. bro

my god alcohol isn't killing me fast enough

sorry to turn this into /r9k/ but i hate women

you'd be suprised

its been 2 years of abuse and I'm still not legally retarded

wow the fucking devil decided to show up

you hate yourself
t. i hate women too

Yeah it takes a lot longer than 2 years sorry user. I guess it depends how much you actually drink and how often really.

12-15 5.5% beers a day. Go to work feeling like shit, end the day feeling like shit
>tfw work in cyber security
Sorry UK bros

They’re literally the most desirable and sought-after thing in the known universe. They’re bound to be a pain sometimes. It’s all worth it when you’re cosied up in bed poking their pink portions.

Beer will give you a massively worse hangover than white wine or vodka. You’re torturing yourself unnecessarily

i try not to touch the harder stuff to avoid really bad withdrawals

this does not make me feel better, i think i almost prefer having alcohol be my desire at least it doesn't rumple tease me

o wait it does with WDs

Ethanol is ethanol when it comes to withdrawals, beer will only give you less severe WD if you drink less ethanol as a result.
You are right to be wary of spirits though to be fair, it’s perilously easy to drink more when it’s so easy to fire another shotgun of ethanol at your brain.

I've been doing that for 10 years, and i'm 30 now in relatively good health. Where you will run into trouble is if you start getting into liquor. The first couple years of that 10 year bender I drank a fifth of shitty kamchatka vodka a day. I learned that hard liquor will fucking end you and switched to beer. I've only had minor behavioral issues since then.

yes i don't touch spirits whatsoever.

Anyone else have a cringe-worthy cork collection?

Just added one to the pile.

As long as you don't day drink you will most likely be fine then, but consider that by only drinking beer it is the equivalent of eating fast food everyday pretty much. But we all have our vices so to each their own.

Fucking eBay.
>family comes over
>one suggests I buy a book
>fire up eBay on huge tv, in front of everyone
>“Based on your recent searches ... [half a million condom listings and sausage-stuffing equipment]
Ffs, can a man not eat well and fuck whores in peace? Damn you tech age.

i have no idea what anything in that pic meant
0/10

my mom has a video of me shagging warm water

...

>stop being an alcoholic
>spend less money
>drink better beer
I wish this were how it worked, but no.

Stouts and Porters are often very good but they are definitely harder to drink. If you're drinking solely to get drunk, both their low drinkability and higher price should remove them as an option.

>upstairs neighbour is having sex for what must be the twelfth time in three days
I'm going to nail a suicide note onto his door by Sunday night at this rate, blaming him for killing me.

I'm so fucking jealous of him.

dipped my willy in and out of water and got an erection

I know you're both right

Iktfb. I’d be infinitely comfy if I had a gf right now.

The worst part is that I had a gf until last year, but now I don't think I've talked to a woman one-on-one since her. Meanwhile Mr. Alpha Upstairs is living the life.

I haven’t had a gf for 6 years. Just drunk fucks and hookers since 2012. Not the same as having your own, personal squange to squelch as and when your dick demands it.
I should probably try (harder) to move on. Booze makes it nigh on impossible to process the feels.

Could be drunk by now, but I have to wait another four hours because it’s Jesus day.

Lel, I was doing the hooker life before her, and been doing the same after. I guess we're broken?

Nah I think I’ll be alright. Just gotta wait for Tay to realise that she’s mine. Silly gril is definitely taking her time though.

K, I'm broken then.

IT IS NOT HERESY
AND I WILL NOT RECANT

strawpoll.me/14832405
strawpoll.me/14832405
strawpoll.me/14832405
strawpoll.me/14832405
strawpoll.me/14832405

drinking something bottled with cork almost ensures youre having bad hangovers

Welp, now they're having sex for the 13th time.

Fap over this thread, blessed relief

nigga if youre that serious just fucking pour it out or burn it. Unless you're intimately familiar with someone, dumping your unwanted booze on them is a gesture which is bizarre at best but more likely is to be interpreted as outright creepy.

It's a commitment thing I heard of. I just have to play the role of reborn teetotaler.

same user. why does booze help things while ruining everything at the same time

8am, zero sleep despite being smashed last night. Shops still closed. Feelsterribleman.
I have just put a pol belly joint in the oven though, with balsamic, thyme and rosemary, with crunchy crackling. Gonna have it with asparagus and fried courgette. It should be done just as the shops open in about an hour and a half. All I need now is identical, twin 18yo sisters to moisten my various convexities and concavities, and today may just be passable.

Pork belly*

Any al/ck/s legitimately on the spectrum? I've been diagnosed with high functioning autism/ass burgers by pretty much every "professional" I've talked to; however much you even believe it's a real thing.

Spent a ton of money seeing different people about my alcoholism and for a brief while one got me to taper (2-3 beers a day, then one day a week without anything, then two - I got to three once). The same thing that happened every time was that they said I need to go to detox/rehab and AA. The thought of AA, or being stuck in a house with a bunch of strangers for a month is pretty much impossible for me to consider, especially sober. Everyone I saw basically came to the same conclusion that they couldn't help me until I got some kind of group help first.

Now I'm back to as bad I've ever been (buying a handle of vodka every other day, and still drinking a few beers with meals). I have a shitty wage job which I do well, but have constant health problems and my boss is always on my back to talk more and be more confident in my judgement, because he wants to promote me and have me take over a lot of his workload (small business).

I'm drunk so I forgot where I was going. Anyone else have any experience with this shit? (Yeah, I should have learned coding or some STEM shit where I could just work alone on my own hours and still make bank.)

I’d be stunned if I don’t have some kind of autism going on, but nothing diagnosed.

Give twin 18yos pls

u know ur shid when you gotta close one eye to type and see clear. me right now desu senpai hit me w/

>High stress
>Haven't eaten solid food for a week
>Grocery shopping tomorrow

What should my first meal be?

Pork is cheap, delicious and most importantly it’s loaded with thiamine
youtube.com/watch?v=c0ICMcuhdPg

Nice. I didn't know that. My usual thiamine food is potatoes. No matter how fucked up my stomach is I can keep down chips/fries.

What about bacon?

Bacon is a vegetable

>wake up
>it's pretty early
>make a bowl of cereal and get ready for work
>charge my phone
>realize it's 7pm

I hate eveything

>have a good night
turns into
>stay warm

I posted in the last thread but I'm still waiting to buy beer. I'm not gunna show up at Walmart at 8am. fucking hell. I'm so sick. fuckfuckfuck

kek

I haven't showered in three weeks, chug vodka until I puke over the side of the bed, there's piss jugs everywhere, my hair is thinning, tooth are chipped, I want off the ride.

Wow, this picture is unpleasantly familiar

needs a tag

>2am
>cheated on gf
>called in sick for work
>need to taper tomorrow, again
I don't think I'm a 'bad' person, but I probably am.

>I want off the ride
No you don't. You'd just step off if you wanted off, you wouldn't sit on the bus and just tell everyone you wanted off.

I never knew that a nap cured alcoholism. Damn man, think of all the suffering and death mankind throughout history could have avoided.