Worst Chinese food experience you ever had. Go!

Near to where I grew up there was a place which was a chinese takeway, then became a photo studio where the owner was known to be a closet pedo then it became a chinese again and then again a photo studio where you never see anyone. Went once when it was a chinese thing and threw up afterwards. This place is haunted or something.

Ordered from this Chinese place regularly. They forgot something in my order, but it was minor probably the free egg roll or somethign
my mom called and yelled at them even though I said not to
next time I ordered from them my chicken chow mein smelled like toilet water and wontons looked like shit. I ate the wontons since they still tasted normal but threw out the chow mein
never ordered from there again

Fried rice is leftover dish in China. It's not prestigious or anything so there isn't any rule except for the same "high heat, shit ton of oil" rule.

>panda
Same here

bought a huge 5 pound 3 piece combo for $12 from this little local joint. everything tasted like dirty burnt deep fryer oil, even the rice, threw it out after a couple bites.

>worst chinese food experience
Every one of them.

When I was stuck behind a jew and a black person in line
and both of them were complaining about how expensive things are
and how racist the restaurant was for not lowering the price for the community

I guess I have two

>new to town
>order chinese, go to pickup
>mexicans working there
next week
>order tacos
>asians working there
>food is in chinese takeout containers

wtf is wrong with Connecticut

There's this great Chinese place that only successfully delivers to me once every other order but when it arrives it is delicious...

So my worst experience is the 50 percent of the time they don't actually make it to my housee..

I was going to say I never really had bad Chinese takeout, but then I remembered Panda express. How the fuck did that get popular? It’s worse than shit I used to get in the campus cafeteria. It’s not even cheap, especially for what you get.

It's full of witchcraft and shit and you're all gonna burn in hell!

prok flied lice, good order

Must have stepped into some broken dimension.

It's cheap and easy and sucks compared to real stuff. Kind of like indians on h1bs doing computer stuff.

i know this feel. college cafeteria's "lo mein" was spaghetti and soy sauce.

Got some lo mein
I was expecting a big container with noodles and a little meat/veg
Got a big container of vegetables al dante, and an uncooked packet of ramen underneath.

I shoulda taken a picture :(

In a lot of budgeting it's better to go for the cheap and easy than to for getting stuff done right the first time. There are tax benefits to doing h1bs instead of Americans.

Reasons within reasons within reasons.

>order from usual place
>kung pao chicken, chow mein, etc etc
>half way through the kung pao notice a piece has an odd texture
>mfw
>look at the other pieces
>they're all undercooked as fuck
>panic.jpg
>spend the next day spewing from both ends

A lot of Chinese joints in NYC are run by Mexicans. Take that for what it is. Some of them are pretty decent.

Friends and I were tripping on LSD back in our HS days and god damn that lo mein looked like worms from a Pink Floyed album.

I moved to NYC a few months and I have yet to find any Chinese food that’s good.
Pls recommend (I’m in Mixtown).

Midtown whatever

First time going to a new place just down the road. The prices were worryingly cheap, but I thought if it's OK then a local place would be useful. I ordered duck with plum sauce and egg fried rice, with spring rolls on the side.

The spring rolls tasted weird, like they were fried on bad oil. The sauce that came with them looked like some sort of sweet chilli sauce but just tasted of vinegar. The duck had been cut into strips, battered and deep fried. Tough, no flavour, and it seemed like all the duck fat had melted out into whatever they fried it in. The plum sauce I'm pretty sure was just syrup and food colouring. The egg fried rice was the least offensive part of the meal, presumably because it's so hard to fuck up.

1/10, possibly the worst meal I've ever had, including 3 days of peanut butter on dry bread when I was broke.

>It’s worse than shit I used to get in the campus cafeteria.

>tfw my college has an Panda Express on campus.

It's a mini version of it though that doesn't have the full menu nor probably doesn't taste as good as the standalone panda expresses.

East side or west? Midtown can mean anything.

Not him, but have you not even been to Cafe China?

Chinese takeout the only place I can stand is one near my house in brooklyn. Everywhere else seems to have shitty dry rice and flavorless food. If you want good chinese food in general get on the 7, ride it to flushing (last stop) and go nuts.

this is why you don't eat this shit. these fucktards are just as dirty as the sandniggers from the halal stands. you know how you don't have bad experiences? don't fucking eat from these places

Slightly off topic but a pet peeve of mine is when {white} people get autistically specific about which bagel joints or pizza shops they approve of but when it comes to anything Chinese it's like "hurr go to {this 20 square block radius} and look for the moon squiggles"

Is it really going to hurt you to use the names of the inscrutible oriental joints you like? Nobody is going to jump on you for mispronouncing it, we're on the internet. And even if someone disagrees with your taste it's ok, you're anonymous.

>Visiting Grandmother out of state, Grab some Steamed dumplings, Crab Rangoon, And Lo mein.
>Lo mein is tolerable
>Steamed dumplings a horrible, Outer dumping is bland and almost rubber tasting while the inside is this awful mystery meat
>Rangoon shells taste like there made of paper, Filling is flavorless cheese.
It was some hole in the wall Chinese place, I feel like I got what I expected.

>things that never happened

I really really really love panda express' chow mein + sweetfire chicken breast. I've yet to try anything else from there though and I don't plan to.
Though I still go twice a week.

If you have some time walk along Canal Street and go down Mott. Look for places that are frequented by Chinese folk, those will be the best places. If it's with white people or niggers, those will be tourist traps.

In your area, China Fun on about 64th and 2nd. Get the prok bunz.

If going to the places downtown then go early on say an early Saturday or Sunday morning, for the dimsum carts. The chicks bring out different stuff to select from and they mark this bingo card looking ticket for billing.

Avoid any faggot new-fu looking weirdness.

I got a list of the good ones, I just have to remember them all.

East. Gramercy area.

Your mom called you to crawl out of her basement to get your tendies. She finally got to them after I gave her a hosing. That's why they're late tonight.

Seems like you'd have done better with some saltines dipped into some Campells chicken noodle soup.

Jesus christ

Gramercy isn't "midtown", do you also think Inwood is "harlem"?

You can always sprinkle on some msg and hot sauce.

>chinese place opens in mall
>go to try it out
>pick what you want
>price depends on the combinations you get- 1 meat/1 side, 2 meat/1 side, etc.
>opt for 1 meat and 1 side
>pay
>open container
>see this shitty little portion
I kind of assumed they were going to at least fill in the spaces. Got fuckin' gypped.

>people hating on panda

Why? They have gluten free and non MSG stuff, their hot sauce is fucking 10/10 and you can't beat their speed. Try getting non MSG stuff else where, believe me your mom and pop chinese place is using it. If you care about your health, I wouldn't risk other shit.

Looks like the kind of fag joint that I avoid.
No offence, but seriosly, that's fag bullshit like from a cooking show.

I never cared about that and as white as can be. You seem to be the one with the problem. Now go stuff it where the sun don't shine.

No, you're thinking of Mission Chinese

>spend life in North America
>eat Chinese food
>love Chinese food
>go to china
>eat the best food I have ever tasted
>come back to North America
>Chinese food here is shit
>just get sushi instead from now on

You never cared about what? Details? Yeah I know. You got Gramercy Park and Bryant Park mixed up too. What's next, Flushing is in Staten Island and your favorite Chinese food is sushi?

He said he was new to NY. No need to jump down his throat.

Had the exact opposite time, then again I was only in shanghai

You must be right.

Place called Chinese Musician in Brooklyn is great, Happy Town in Queens. I'm not sure about Manhattan but there was one on the west side of 8th Avenue and like 51st or 52nd street that was good but I can't remember the name.

Happy town, if you ask nicely you'll get happy endings too.

i've never had bad lo mein before
but i was a regular and always chatted with my chink bros

Born and raised in the Flushing area, if you want a solid Americanized Chinese place try Casa Asia, even though it's in Whitestone not Flushing. They have Chinese Thai and sushi and it's all good to high tier so you can't go wrong.

The only way to get him to shut up is to tell him he's right.

So walmart?

none. nyc is a piece of shit city. all the gooks there make sloppy fucking chinese food. Ive tried many restaurants and you always get that faggot yellow rice or cheap tasting oily noodles and the chicken they have is the most suspicious looking and tasting shit in the world

>chinese food in mahnatten
lmao queens is where the chinese food game strong senpai, although there is a really nice chink place to get pork buns from. forgot what it's called tho

I'm pretty sure this is the first time on Veeky Forums anyone other than me has mentioned a Chinese restaurant anywhere in the NYC metro area other than Joe's Shanghai or fucking Xi'an Memefoods. Good job

I went to Changsha. No one spoke English but the food was incredible. Beijing was the same thing. Maybe it’s because I spent my time with a Chinese girl who knew where to eat.

Don't get the joke or reference or whatever bullshit trickery you were attempting.

>Ive tried many restaurants and you always get that faggot yellow rice or cheap tasting oily noodles and the chicken they have is the most suspicious looking and tasting shit in the world
no idea what the fuck you're talking about lmao

He's probably talking about the chinese joints in the hood that have arroz con chicken tenders and you get the option of fried rice or tothtoneth as a side and everyone talks in fucked up chispanol

I fucking hate places that use these things. we're not fucking children. these places are cheap fucking assholes. the place you went to is supposed to have money to cater to people coming to the mall. fucking bogus motherfuckers you should've went back to them and demanded your money back

Why not just order it as to go and pick it up yourself?

Does Yoshinoya Bowl count? I grew up in a small town. Went to LA with a friend from San Fran. We're about to leave LA, its lunch time. He sees a Yoshinoya Bowl and INSISTS we go there. I fucking love Chinese food. Actually like Panda Express a lot even though its fast food. I assume you cant fuck up fast food Chinese food. How wrong I was. I was fucking appalled. It looked like a pile of thin, wiggly slices of human skin. Not like any meat I'd ever had before. I ate all the rice and felt sick for 2 days after. I completely lost faith in my friend's judgment and stopped talking to them almost immediately. Its amazing the kind of things people from big cities become accustomed to. Breathing smog and eating trash. To the point of actually thinking its good? I'll never understand...

That's what you get when you're a cheap jew and expect the world for $5. Fuck off.

prok bunz!

its probably not brown rice, just the soysauce seeped into white rice that gives it that color

Tendies and french fries special behind two inch thick barriers. Like a nigger liquor store.

depends on what they put in it and how much
different portions of ingredients will change that

2018, what the fuck is a mall?

I am super fluorescent white, that’s true. I was too stupid to get the names of places I couldn’t read but there were so many good ones I just recommend the whole area. I had great hot pot at little sheep. I had delicious takoyaki and dumplings in the food court under J-Mart. There’s a place called Jade with excellent dim sum.

I’m not shy to say the names. Fight me on those opinions and I’ll only be better for it. But the question is good chinese in new york which is vague as fuck. But the chinatown areas have high concentrations of really good food.

On the other hand I can’t say, reccomend the whole 15th street area for Pizza. There’s three pizza places and only one is good (it’s The Sicilian, fuck off Joe’s fags).

Why ask for a decent Chinese place if you're just going to shoot down legitimate suggestions?
Go to Walmart and get some instant lo mein. Literally the best you deserve.

I didn't ask but had to go out to pickup a pizza, it's pretty icy out there so was slow. I'll get to the answers to the original question. Be patient.

This must be why trump hates immigrants.

Any kind of meat that's fried in batter is always 90% batter with a tiny morsel of meat inside. This is the worst and also every Chinese food experience I've ever had.

He blames niggers and spics for ice?
You must be a shillary supporter making up stuff where it doesn't exist.

Every time I get peas in my god damn fried rice.

Also, me and my ex could never go out to eat without her acting all socially awkward and reclusive, non verbal and flaky while everyone around us would talk shit about us within ear shot.

That's only indian restraurants, and fuck them, I don't patronize them.

Drives me nuts when people try fucking speaking to me without looking in my eyes, and it's never something I can appropriately reply to with a respectable, on-topic response when next second the assholes are talking to the person they're with. I fucking HATE it. It's a god damn 'southern' thing, in a fucking state that is no where neat the south.

youtube.com/watch?v=7AmQ-hOxo2Y

Dude, you need to chill. That's some crappy indian shit. Peas in rice. It's fucking annoying and why I don't go to or patronize indian joints.

Nothing more or less. Don't make shit up where stuff doesn't exist.

hahahah! A MAN WHO NEVER PROK BUNZ IS NEVER A WHOLE MAN!

A chinese place near me had a butchering room for stray dogs/cats in the back place. Not a joke.

how much did you pay for that? for 5 dollars at a normal Chinese food place you get a shit tons of meat and rice in one combo plus a free soda and like 4 pieces of broccoli

I think they do that in NYC sometimes, also pigeons.

Pigeons, stray cats, dogs, now it's General Tso's chicken.

why do people order fried rice? just get white or brown, like the meal you have will have rice and meat why do you need more meat?

Fuck off kid, you'll start noticing what I'm talking about when you try going out to eat with someone you love someday. I'm not talking about the peas. But I wouldn't have mentioned it if I hadn't had chinese, that came in those wrap up chinese boxes with the little metal handles, and in one of those little chinese lettering covered chinese little food boxes was fried rice with carrots and peas.

>yes i'd like a general tso's chicken EXTRA SPICY
>ok, you want general tso chicken extra spicy?
>yes extra spicy
>ok
>arrives
>not spicy in the slightest
every fucking time