If all philosophers were put inside a gladiator arena and had a fist fight to the death, who would win?

And maybe Marcus Aurelius.

How loose of a definition of "philosopher" are we going on?

Socrates would win imo
Wasn't he in stupedously good shape?

Those guys who if we held up a picture of their face and asked what they did, a valid answer could be plausibly given as 'philosopher'

>no socrates was jacked post yet
disappointing

Diogenes

Read the threat faggot.
You know to read?

Plato cuz he was a great wrestler and was jacked

>Sun Tzu.

Oh yeah a fucking four foot chink is going to beat people

You don't even know what I'm referring to
Please never respond to my posts ever again

The greeks would rock the everloving shit out of every other narrow shouldered beta male in the ring, and then there would be some jeers and intimidation between the big three and the pre-socratics before they would all decide to end it peacefully as a tie.

Stirner and Plato would be the last two standing

De Sade would rape everyone on the arena to death.

Now would you like to answer the question?

>Who would be killed first?

Yeah i do faggot.
Read a book kid, this board is about literature

Kant or Schopenhauer

I'd punch Kant

Nah it'd be Sartre, everyone would want to kill that pedo five foot degenerate

>Schopenhauer
Didn't he once send tumbling down the stairs one of his maids or something?

>RRRREEEEEEEEE I TOLD YOU TO GET MY TENDIES

He was the original /r9k/ sperg. He was a frail, autistic little virgin who laid down the philosophical foundation for all khv's. He'd probably twist his ankle and knock himself out before anyone could get their hands on him.

Why are you such a nigger

nietzsche would pull out his hammer and crush everybody

Nick Land would OD on amphetamines before anyone even got to him.

Bruce Lee would wipe them all out simultaneously with Jeet Kune Do.

I would desu

Witty would knock everyone else out while they're still children.

>what is kung-fu

Stirner, marx