Can we have a gym clown thread?
>walk in for leg day
>clown walks up to me
>starts silent laughing at me for using the machines
>hear giggles from tredmill sluts
>start doing deadlifts
>makes fun of me for not using clips
>steps on my bar and makes the 45lbs weighs slide off
>everyone notices and stops-mid set to mean-mug me
>fucking whoopie cushions on every squat
I swear every gym I try the gym clown gravitates to me. Fuck these assholes.
>Finish bench set
>grab towel from pocket to wipe down seat
>it's seemingly attached to another cloth
>keep pulling
>10 meters of multicolored towels spew out of my pockets onto the ground
>gym worker tells me it's a safety hazard and that I need to put it in my locker
>gym clowns laughing by the water fountain
>Benching 2pl8, the clown replaced all of the weight on the right side with fake weights
>Barbell flies off the rack on my chest and onto the floor, the barbell whips around and nailed the person to my left on the head
>I'm pretty sure I just killed the person to my left, and I think I tore my right shoulder
>The fucking clown just comes up, pies is both in the face, honks his loud horn in both our ears and unicycles away
>be doing heavy squats
>last rep baby
>qt girl is doing lunges and I'm on her line of sight
>try my best to come up, but really struggling
>regular gym buff guy walks by
>hear a slight squealing from his shoes as he walks
>oh no
>it's the gym clown
>he stands behind me, and says "ooOOoh what's this?!"
>he pulls my shorts down exposing my anus to the entire gym
>he starts giggling in a high pitch tone as he begins pulling coloured cloth out of my butt
>it doesn't stop and I'm just standing there holding this weight on my back while he jumps around laughing getting cloth after cloth
>qt girl is staring at the whole scene in horror
>I autistically say "It's not me!" (what?).
>manage to come up, gym clown is long gone, my bunghole is practically bleeding, and there's tears in my eyes.
>fall on the ground defeated and tired
>girl comes up to me to help
>I tell her to get closer, as I can barely muster a word
>she brings her face close to mine
>then I spray her with water from the flower pinned on my polka dot shirt
HONK HONK!
kek
Kek, that got me.
Kek
kek'd/check'd
HOLY FUCKING KEK
who is this girl
>clips
They're called magazines. In Canada our magazines are pinned to 5plates even if our mag could hold 10 plates.
A lot of do gooders will report you if they see your mag filled with even 6 plates.
>I autistically say "It's not me!" (what?).
Kek
Yagami Kumi
>in rest session
>recently quit smoking so I need to do SOMETHING with my hands
>phone in car
>remember gym bag
>grab for gym bag to snuggle my gym log
>seems a little wobbly and squishy
>whatever.facialexpression
>hug gym bag to get dem gym log vibes in my soul
>feel it collapse
>fucking gym clowns start cackling a few feet away
>get smacked in the head with my gym log
>half to wait for gym bag to dry out before I put gym log in bag because water balloon
>look awkward with my 2 foot by 9 inch chunk of polished wood sitting OUTSIDE the gym bag
god damn gym clowns
>have innawoods home gym
>be liftin
>hear screech
>drop squat bar, grab ak
>look around for skinwalker
>god damn gym clown with a modified deer call
EVEN IN THE FUCKIN WOODS THEY GET YOU.
>gym clowns attach horns to my shoes
Everytime
I have always thought definition of a gym clown is a bit different. My gym clown story:
>walk out the locker room
>walk into weights room
>even before I can put my things down, he approaches me
>ask if I can spot him
>sure, just give me a sec
>I watch him slowly push decline bench underneath smith's
>oh boy, here we go again
>he puts 110kg on it (mind you, this is one of those smith's where barbell has a chain attached so it practically weighs around 1kg instead of regular 20)
>he does 8 reps without even touching his pecs
>I had to help him with 4
>I do my regular shit - squat, bench, diddly and dips as an accessory for that day
>he notices that I do dips with 25kgs under my balls (I know, it is not much)
>approaches me again
>asks 'how come you have such shit bench press, yet you do dips with soooo muuuuuch"
>wild thought appears 'do you really fucking want to go down this road?'
>'well, you know, it is the matter of leverages and the fact I really love dips, whereas most people refrain from doing them'
>fast forward 3 months
>king of clowns comes with a qt to probably impress her
>it is his leg day
>oh shit, it is gonna be gud (he hasn't done legs for past 3 months)
>I literally squat 100kgs more than he does
>his lady friend notices
>he hasn't talked to me ever since
are you some kind of beta? What do you mean "steps on my bar". You're acting like a doormat, either bash his face in next time he touches something of yours, or report him.
>>I autistically say "It's not me!" (what?).
/k/ommando
>visit apartment complex gym
>open to everyone so lots of retards
>high school fags prancing around without shirts
>curling 15lbs in front of the mirror
>selfies everywhere
>blasting yard ape music on bluetooth speaker
>youveactivatedmytrapcard.webm
>just so happens I brought my own speaker
>mine was actually bought with money so it's 10x better and louder
>set it down in front of me while I'm doing deads
>start playing audio from the normandy beach scene from saving private ryan
>the sound of german machine guns, explosions, and people screaming fills the gym
>high school fags start looking at each other nervously
>this goes on for a few minutes before they leave
>promptly turn off my speaker because I'm not a faggot who blasts music in the gym
>gym clown switched the right and left handed dumbbells around
And I was gonna set a pr on dumbbell bench, fuck