I am literally better than every single person on this board. I write better. I think more clearly...

I am literally better than every single person on this board. I write better. I think more clearly. Even dunk I could compose literature that would make you weep. Why are you still here? In hopes of becoming a literary sensation? It will never happen. Ever. You have me as competition. I am Chad. I am literature itself. Sorry sweets, but go the fuck home you faggot. There is nothing left for you here. Everyone laughs behind your back at your prose. It's boring and slow moving. It's uninteresting. Your are such a loner faggot. Seriously. I know you use considered the sunless end of self slaughter. But consider it more seriously. No one will ever read a word you write. You notice how even on here you very rarely get any replies to your response? That's not coincidental. It's entirely correlated to your writing ability.

As aforementioned, I'm drunk. But that doesn't mean what I've written above is untrue. If it hurts you, I am sorry. But I thought someone should tell you.

Hey whose got the weed?

I know you used to consider the sunless end of self slaughter *

You cannot expect errorless writing from someone fully cut

...

Beer or cocktail?

Cock tail

I would. And if you did anything but look shamefully at the dirt afterwards I would beat you into the dirt. I am literally chad you fuck. You don't understand. I am unquestionably the greatest writer in human history. But more significantly, I am a fully rounded human being. This means I am capable of many things that don't pertain to writing alone. One of them is fighting and stealing your girlfriend or seducing your waifu. You are literally nothing compared to me.

I want you to die knowing that not even your pasta was good.

post body big boy

>Even dunk

>In hopes of becoming a literary sensation
drop dead, my man

Post an excerpt!

My diary desu

Oh sorry wrong circlejerk

>thinks he's the best writer on this site
>he isn't even part of the elite neo-modernist writer ring operating on Veeky Forums right now through coded posts, planning to revitalise literature through intense formal experimentation the likes of which hasn't been seen since Joyce
Heh, polish up a little kid, and maybe we'll drop you line

Can I join!!?

Yes, fine: I'm a pleb. There, I said it. What now, huh? Got any other gags up your sleeves? Got any other zoinkers hidden away? Oh, nothing? nothing? Didn't prepare you for this eventuality in cool school did they? Oh, no no, please, don't listen to me. I'm just another lowly pleb compared to you, I'm not worth anyone's tim—Sorry? What? Nothing to say? Nothing to say? Well. Well well well. Well well well well well. Seems you're outta moves, kid. Seems you're outta luck! Checkmate. Knockdown! Strike, your out!

>He doesn't realize he's an unwitting puppet for POMO GANG and his entire life is actually an elaborate deconstructionist satire

Do none of you know anything about bowing? Get in your fucking knees. Kiss my feet. Your waifu sits beside me. I just came inside her. Kiss her feet as well. Lick them. She just licked mine. You'd be best suited to do so for her, so she thinks you're worth something. She loves my writing. Everyone does. It's why I'm published and making six figures. It's too bad your writing sucks. I k ow you try hard at it. I k now you feel you've sacrificed a great deal to get where you are. But unfortunately it's not enough. Not even close to enough. Enjoy obscurity. And enjoy the taste of your waifu' feet.

>his entire life is actually an elaborate deconstructionist satire
now everything makes sense...

tsk, tsk, tsk. another mindless simpleton has stepped into my realm *i grab your head* there's still time to apologize *i throw you against the bloody wall* i'll teach you, not that your petty brain will understand *i get out my poisoned kris +9* eat this, little bitch! *i slice your shins* "ahh! what the fu-" *you stop yelling in awe of my blade collection* oh, you like them don't you? heheh, they'll be going through your skull soon *you scream but nobody hears as i punch your throat* what's wrong, bitch? choking on your idiocy? that's pathetic *snickers* heh, get ready for this, little bitch! *my eyes glow red as the floor starts shaking* "n-no! what the fuck?!?" *you try and punch me as i fade away* "HUH?!?!" heheh, i'm right here! *i appear behind you and shoot blue flames through my palms like azula from avatar the last airbender* it's too late now! *you try to get away but you fail and get burned* "aaarrrgghhh!!!!" you like that, bitch? don't worry, there's more where that came from! poison breath! go! ARIGATO! *WHOOSH* "aaarrgghhh!!!!" *the fumes surround you as you start choking* "wh-where the fuck did you go?!? show yourself!" *you cough and wheeze* too late, bitch. i'm everywhere... EAT THIS!!! *in one motion, i unbuckle my katana made of solid titanite from my black belt, unsheathe it and slice your right hand off and re-sheathe it while laughing* "ARRGGH!!!! you won't get away with this!!!!" heheh, i already have!! *the smoke instantly clears to reveal me in super sayain level 10 and fully charged up with rainbow hair* "n-no!!! stop!!!!" too late! *i use my telekinesis to throw my blade collection through your stomach one by one* "AAARRGGHHHH!!!!!" this ends here! *i fly towards you at mach 50 and drive my katana through your skull* *you slump over and die as i clean all my blades of your worthless blood* hmph, once again i have cut a worthless object *i teleport inside you as you explode* nothin personnel *i put up my hoodie and fly away*

>boring and slow moving
>posts a tragic cry for help that reads like a suicide note from someone who isn't sure if he got the point across that he's killing himself
cmon man, i've written better shit on the piss caked bowl of my toilet with drunken vomit.

The fact that you are trying to impress me...

doesn't impress me.