>be a fatman, aged 28 >fall in love in a young movie star >be obsessed with her and her career >collect every photo of her, download every movie >buy her movies >go to cinema 100 times >never get to stalk her because she lives in LA and you are just an user >write a diary desu >would like to save her if her career is over by chance >mental illness >death at 30 >death at 160 kilograms >no one ever sees or reads your diary >no one knows about its existence ... >40 years later >said movie star becomes kinda forgotten baby jane >wants to get back in business >last chance she gets is a thriller about a fat stalker obsessed with some movie star >screenplay is similar to th diary no one has ever seen, it's just a coincidence >she gets a golden globe nomination ... >a quiet justice occurs >user kinda saves the actress >some people pass by his anonymous grave and discuss the movie >so he is symbolically "informed" about it
what do you think?
Hunter Gomez
How can such a perfect face be connected to such a disgusting body? I miss her so much bros
Levi Diaz
It wouldn’t be satisfying enough for a modern audience. But you’re onto something, I think.
Somehow fat man and the actress must meet. The diary must get to her somehow with him still alive.
Colton Stewart
it's too hollywoodian to my taste the essence is that they never meet, she never knows about him, it must be frustrating
Adam White
You're a creep
Luis Lopez
who isn't? everyone has their hidden perversions
also author =/= narrator =/= protagonist
Ian Hughes
Then you need something more. At least from the way you lay it out. Perhaps she realizes she might have loved him if he were alive. She leaves flowers upon his grave in the end. Or his “love” keeps her from taking her own life.
Joseph Rogers
>she realizes she might have loved him if he were alive the problem is she never knows about his existence
maybe she could read by chance about some gruesome death in an old newspaper preparing for her last role. She feels sad all of a sudden. yes, it will be this
Blake Hughes
this feels like a side story for something else. this doesnt seem like it should be anything over 30 pages
and it does feel like you are projecting, at least from what i think most anons are.
Connor Evans
it will be this guy's death. maybe she finds out about his collection of movies and photos? I don't know, I don't want to make him building altars for her because it would be too banal.
Jaxson Thompson
so I'll make this a short story, you are probably right unfortunately english is not my first language so I will have problems translating it and posting it here
Julian Thomas
Well the character has nothing to do with the movie and no one knows about his obsession so he in no way does he save the actress. The diary needs a bigger part, and why does his fatness have to kill him? Is he supposed to sympathetic or unsympathetic? He could be fat but get hit by a car so people like him. I think you're onto something as well I just don't know what the end goal is.
Levi Kelly
Sounds like cheesy, sentimental bullshit written by a lonely dummy.
Aaron Hughes
the end goal is just everything is a coincidence. He does not save her, it's his story who indirectly and unconsciously "saves" her. If he saw that he would be happier, I don't know. But he never sees it as well as she never sees him. Maybe my level of language is stopping me from explaining what is my exact opinion. True realism - anti-novel.
>inb4 "Mary and Max"
he dies from depression or maybe suicide, typical user stuff (he's r9k rather than s4s). But I will have to do more research about this disease of course.
As I said, it's just a simple idea and I try to make it just a little bit original and it's difficult.
Asher Allen
nothing cheesy or sentimental here desu
I'm inspired by Ionesco's "Exit the King" where one of the dialogues is like this: >Your story will be forever written in the archives upon the stars >But who will be visit them?
Blake Evans
>man redeems himself in death and saves a woman he pines for purely through his obsessive love >not a valorization of sentiment and romantic fantasy taken to its extreme You seem to be incapable of perceiving your story as a reader would. Your characters may not interact in the story, but they obviously do in the mind of the reader. You gave your generic love story an aborted tragic ending and you've mistaken that with whatever "true-realism" is.
Jace Cooper
Thanks for the tips. If you can, greentext me your version and I will comment on the differences.
My realism is anti-Stendhalien, I mean life has no dreamy fictitious, idealistic novel structure. Things happen for no reason.
Andrew Nelson
the first part is good, the second is dire
It would be better is she was washed up and her redemption only appears as a redemption to her because shes so desperate but to the readers is pathetic. And then you imply that the thing that 'saves' her is possessed by the stalker
Zachary Rodriguez
it's "possessed" and invented just by chance. This has to show that his diary (desu) was just some unoriginal and banal story that could have been thought and written by some other dude, a screenwriter for example.
This is a story about coincidences and randomness.
Is it a redemption? I am not sure. The scenario saves her career. You can say that the fatman is cucked by everyone else although the plagiarism is not made consciously.
Luke Perez
I don't think the redemption should be in the form of her returning to her career. She should develop paranoid schizophrenia and become convinced that the CIA or FBI are after her. Her faulty lamp starts flickering and she thinks it is communicating with her. Then, in discussions with her lamp, she thinks she needs to escape. According to the lamp she is pregnant with an alien baby and that the CIA wiped her memory and plan to take the baby from her once it is born. The final scene should be her lying against a rock, in the desert, craddling her intestines which she has removed through a self-inflicted "c-section" with her shitty old lamp next to her, attached to her car battery through shoddy wiring, flickering. But she dies happy, with the "child" she always wanted in her arms.
Jaxon Wright
Holy....
Jaxon Lee
too realistic
Aaron Stewart
ew ew ew don't listen to this person awful, boring ideas that destroy the point of your story
Jacob Robinson
Oh okay I got you now. You were drawing some more than coincidence vibes in your outline, but now it makes sense. The passing by the anonymous grave while discussing the movie is a little more synchronicity than coincidence though. For true realism as you say, keep the coincidences believable and to a minimum. But that's my opinion. It's a good idea. Good luck.
Samuel Williams
this is very similar to a story i've written desu
Landon Price
A story based purely on coincidence and no order is boring, no one would read it, including me. Fiction is a vessel to explore themes, feelings to express, there has to be some order to it. I feel like you're trying to be so original and different, but it just comes off as dull anyways.
Jack Bell
Are you that nigga that shot Reagan?
Isaac Wood
No it is not me ofc
Brody Rodriguez
so the thesis is: >obsessive stalking is ultimately detrimental to the stalker but may in some small way help the movie star, kind of.
sounds realistic enough but who cares. Also is there any character growth or change? If not why should i bother reading about a character that never learns grows or changes?