Alternate book titles

The Republic
Or:
>Thrasymachus Got Beat The Fuck Down.

The Road
Or:
>Everything Is Terrible Until You Die: There's No God and We Are His Prophets

Blood Meridian
Or:
>Yep We're Going To Kill That Too: Praying For The Protagonists Death

Or:
>Check Out My Photo Album Of Dead Slopes: No More Sucky-Sucky For You

Ebin!

Or:
>Nobody Else Did Anything: JSOC Carries Iraq and Afghanistan On Its Back

Or:
>Swords And Arrows?:Read This Agonizing Description Of A Forest First

Crime And Punishment
Or:
>Raskolnikov Was A Lazy Bitch

Infinite Jest, Or, The Modern Gravity's Rainbow

If on a winter's night a traveler
Or;
>Requiem for a Manic Pixie Dream Narrator

One Soldiers War by Arkady Babchenko
Or:
>Chechnya Is A Place Where All The Nightmares Live by Genocider Mc-Loves-War

Hamlet
Or;
>How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Imitate Christ

Heart Of Darkness
Or:
>Faffing About In A Boat Trying To Find A Grumpy Kraut

It worked didn't it.....oh wait it for sure didn't fucking work

Rime of the Ancient Mariner
Or;
>Moby-Dick (Abridged)

wat

Kek

>Twilight of the Idols
or
How to Philosophize with a Hammer xDDD

Typhoon
Or:
>Chinese Lives Don't Matter

Animorphs (any one)
Or
>You're A Useless Child Unless You Can Turn Into A Bug Or Some Shit

IT by Stephen King
Or
>Hope You Like Kids Fucking

The Stand
Or:
>Here's A 1200+ Page Tribute To Stephen King Getting Fucked Up

Lord Jim
Or:
>Dude Needs To Chill

Philosophical Investigations
>This Game is Stupid, I Don't Wanna Play Anymore

Or

How to root for a pedophile

Or

Mid-life Crisis: parisian hippie edition.

Suttree
Or:
>Oh Right That Dude Fucks Melons.

Suttree
Or:
>How To Be A Southern Vagrant And Befriend Your Local Retarded Melon Fucker

kek

Leviathan
or
>Shut the fuck up and obey the king.

Symposium
Or:
>What is Love ?: a discussion among gay friends

The Old Man and The Sea
Or
Baseball, Fish and Death Among Vaguely Homoerotic Cubans

The Demon in the Freezer, or: the Iranians will probably kill us all with smallpox one day

Underworld
or
Dude Garbage Lmao

New yorker already did this and did it better you lose Veeky Forums

jej

...

...

The Great Gatsby
Or:
> The Sorrows of Young Werther but in USA so everyone is dick

wew this thread sure is funny lads, top tier comedy please do go on

Notes from Underground
Or
> tfw too intelligent

The Myth of Sisyphus
Or
>Still Pushin' That Rock

moby dick
or
the whale

Your mother

this one actually got me

Fuck this is too real. I'm a few hundred pages in and all of my wat.

...

What is love?: baby, do not hurt me, do not hurt me, anymore.

Gravity's Rainbow: Reads Catch 22 once

Or:
>Business, Cocaine, Sex, and Murder

>Business, Cocaine, Sex, and Murder
I'd buy any album named that.

The Stranger
Or
>Did He Fire Six Shots? Or Only Five?

>No Country For Old Men
or
>Any Average Tuesday In Mexico

>Heart Of Darkness
or
>Black People Are Mysterious And Savage, And Easily Scared By Loud Noises

>The Hobbit
or
>Dwarves Are Stubborn Jerks: A Memoir Of An Unpleasant Trip To Fantasy Scotland

>let's leave all our kids to die on earth lol, also the minute a man assumes a position of power it's because of the patriarchy

> let's break the fourth wall for lolz and write half the book in made-up code to put readers out of the story