My professor just sent this to me

This is secretly what most writers do

I can post the opening line of my best story if you'd like? Pretty paranoid about posting a whole lot.

do it, i'm interested

srs

Okay, the story title is "Glendenning Listens Why"

Opening:

>"Fred realised, with a sort of laugh, that every joke he had recently heard had been told by himself, to himself, and at his own expense."

True. Happened with one of my best pieces that I posted on a critique thread. Should've posted as an image, stupid me.

that's actually...not that bad. good luck bro.

which part?

No man. Delete this. I got rejected by McSweeny's the other day. They told me they were going to publish it, but a quick Google showed I had posted it on a forum and they rescinded the offer. Delete it now.

Heh, made me chuckle. Post more please.

lol I'll just copy and paste it into another post if he does

>undergrad workshop
>Danforth review
>fiction and poetry workshop

Huehuehue

it good

I swear to God I've read this exact line before.
Have you posted this in other threads on Veeky Forums?

Fuck you, that's not me.

Although I live in the city, I enjoy leaving my curtains open to catch natural light. Sometimes I even sleep with the curtains open, letting the sun hit my face to wake me in the morning. Every weekday, mother closes the blinds so the daycare child that sleeps in my room can sleep. When I come home from work in the evening, the blinds are still closed. This bothers me. On these nights, even when I come home late, I open the blinds for only a few minutes before closing them to fall asleep.

I love the sound of rain. I find it peaceful, and it helps me sleep. But I have no netting over my window frame, so I can't sleep with the window open, or else I'll wake up with mosquitoes and moths and blackflies in my room, sometimes hiding away for days at a time and sometimes fluttering around my head as I read. So I undo the locks on my window and raise it as far as it can go, without and proper gap in the frame.

More than the light and the rain, I love the fresh air. My room quickly gets dusty, so I leave my window open for hours at a time, in the hope of ventilating the place. But through the sunlight, in front of the open window, I still see dust float through the air. This frustrates me. Still, I especially enjoy the smell of fresh air during a rainfall. Tonight, as it rained, I opened the curtains, pulled back the drawstring of the blinds, unlocked the window, raised it all the way and stuck my head outside, breathing deeply and counting the stars that poked through the rainclouds.

kekekek

Is this your story? Or are you just telling us how you like your curtains?

Would read more of your autism diary.

lmao too funny

lul

i too have heard this line before, but a cursory google search doesn't turn up anything else.

yeah ive heard this before aswell in a critique thread, i remember correctly everyone was shitting on it, and i've seen it more than once. but i like it.

Hey it's me, you're professor. Pretty lame of you to post my email on here. Kinda makes me think you're more full of yourself than I thought. I was under the impression that you were a sincere talent who didn't even know what you had. An idiot savant of sorts.

warosu.org/lit/thread/S9867699#p9867979

>...in the future, please submit only Word docs or PDFs to Blackboard.
What did you send your professor, a fucking .txt?

>Book starts in media res.

I remember that one. That was a good thread.

HELLO MEMOIR user ITS BEEN A LONG TIME HOW ARE YOU, HOW WAS THE MONASTERY?

gets me every time

this is good

this is just ok

>Fuck you, that's not me

That was so funny

Write a book and then submit it to a publisher that doesn't require an agent OR submit it to an agency who will basically be your editor and grant you access to just about every publisher in the world

Good luck user leave these fucks behind and never look back

Glad I'm not the only one who cares about this

It was multiple screenshots of the word document. JPEGs.

nicely done.

never submit your work as text on Veeky Forums. Only send it as an image or a pastebin that dies fairly quickly.

>tfw gotten a few short stories published but haven't had anything major in a while

At least I'm doing well as an essayist

>It was multiple screenshots of the word document. JPEGs.

Fuck you, that isn't me.

Malcolm Ironfist, grasping his gun and staring down at the shivering criminal, said with vengeance in his voice, "I'll let you live if you tell me where Valcone is hiding."
"Wh-what do you want to find Valcone for, anyway?" said the criminal, shivering with cold and also with fear. "He's the biggest crime boss in America."
"Let's just say, he owes me a debt." Malcon Ironfist put out his cigar which he had been smoking the whole time, and then said, "Do you want to live or not? Tell me where Valcone is and I'll let you live."
"China Town," said the criminal, expecting to be freed.
CLICK. The gun was cocked.
"But I thought you said you would let me live!" said the criminal.
"I lied," said Malcolm Ironfist. "But you know what they say: all is fair in love and... revenge."

This thread is now for fake pulp.

Firewall Proxy - A Mike Murdle Mystery

Return of the Not-Batman

The Petals Fall Twice

Through a Gentle Techprism

I actually like this. Good job.

I got no advice just wanted to say well done lad

post more

>pornography leaked out of it like blood

these are best 1s

There aren't any more good ones. The rest is poetry.

I'll post them anyway.

8/9

9/9