Crack egg

>crack egg
>yolk breaks as soon as it lands
>mfw i was making scrambled eggs anyway

I was making an omelette a while ago and I had a bad crack and had to pick out a couple pieces of shell. Part of the albumin was milky white. I think it was partially frozen. I think the whites do that when they freeze. I didn't know that. Did you know that?

try not dropping the yolk in from 5 feet above the bowl

Classic eggeater, can't even crack an egg

Dont break them on edge but flat surface if you cant into eggcracking.

Nah, it was probably he yolk tether, or whatever it's called. A white stringy thing that connects the yolk to the shell so it stays in the middle

No, that was still there. Half the mass of albumin was milky rather than clear. The carton was in a cold spot in the refrigerator. Let's see if I die or not.

i actually did do that , i just got a defective egg or something.

>tfw see a daisy thread on ck
>was planning on fapping anyway

>rotten egg thread
>Daisy
Makes sense

>you will never nestle your tongue up inside that beautiful petite belly button
why live?

hooray for fapping to xenomorphs

>I didn't know there was this much yolk in the whole galaxy

fridge

disgusting belly button

>crack open an egg
>drop it in the pan
>a bunch of bits of shell fall in
>mfw I was making scrambled eggs with shell anyway

I just pretend I'm getting extra calcium from it since I'm a retard who can't crack an egg.

>hold egg
>smack with side of spatula
Why are people fucking this up?

Because my mother was sometimes absent and I have no real life skills

>set pan
>butter
>diced onion
>crack egg
>blood in yolk
>fuck everything

My dad wasn't around and I don't know to shave.

>blood in yolk
It means you can take the soul of a chicken.
Regular eggs don't allow that

I have never seen anyone do this and I will try it. I was basically raised by wolves, my mom is a lazy fucking worthless cunt and my dad would just sort of do the absolute bare minimum to feed us in the easiest way he could.

The trick is to do it harder than you think you want to.
You think "I want to give egg small smack" But then all you do crack the shell.
You want to hit it harder than that.
And then bull it apart with your hands.

my mom never taught me how to masturbate properly

iktfb. My mom was mentally and physically ill and by my teens. Spent an embarrassingly long time asking my GP about reproductive health and general wellness.

*not around much

Is it true what they say about her eggs?

Like chocolate pudding

Lather your face with shaving cream
Put razor against face
Shave
Rinse

>be me
>be sporadically retarded
>crack egg
>AUTOPILOT ENGAGED
>hear clank in pan
>AUTOPILOT DISENGAGED
>shell in pan
>egg in sink
what do i win?

Do you ever cut yourself when shaving? Are you ever tempted?

With most modern razors, you really have to go out of your way to harm yourself with them. And the injuries are really superficial and irritating. Not good for self harm purposes. I prefer pointed tools or overeating for that

Is she a tranny?

Just be american and smoke a lot. Tell the world "you don't give a fuck"

this is why you should always crack eggs into a separate bowl before putting them in the pan

how old were they? usually the yolk becomes more sensitive the older they get. Still quite edible though.