Does Veeky Forums crack eggs on the counter or on the pan/bowl?

>Not cracking the eggs with your mind

my baseball bat

>shaming people for non wizard status
not all of us are 30 year virgins user.

throw it up in the air and let it land wherever

I use my unitasking Egg Cracker 2000™.

Does anyone else like egg shells? I remember the first time I ever got grounded it was because I found egg shells in the garbage and ate them (I didn’t know what they were at the time) and somehow my mom found out about it because she kept track of what was in the garbage because my other mom was an alcoholic and would sneak drinks and sometimes there were condoms in the garbage (my first mom was anatomically female).

Dude, you're really fucked up.

For real though, the edge of the fucking spatula you mongs

I just throw them at the pan and then pick the eggshells out

this is the only correct answer

A flat clean surface like Chef Pepin says.

I get better results with a flat surface as opposed to the edge of a pan. You aren't trying to cut through the egg in a clean line, you want to create a crater for your finger to sink into so they can separate the two halves easier. The inner membrane should stay intact when you crack it on the counter

The only answer

considering how a bird cracks out of an egg i usually use the edge of a bowl

Counter, never pan because it tilts and I spill everything over myself.

Yes.

birds don’t care where any shell shards go
you should
use a solid flat surface

its about how the egg is meant to be broken, nature says that the chick inside has a small tool on the end of the veak to break the egg

What the fuck am I reading

how to break eggs correctly

you’re not breaking the egg from the inside you fuck

>namefag
>wrong opinions
Everything looks good here

i eat the shell, its high in calcium

its a focused point the the egg is meant to break on whether from the inside or the outside itll break without loosing structural integrity

Why would I have invested in a thighmaster if i was going to strike eggs on counters and pans like a pleb?

I use a knife

wait.. so one puts them in the microwave with a spoon, and let them crack?

i take drugs

I crack the hard boiled eggs with my masculine hands. I'm no sissy who needs a counter.

break em on the sides of pans

What the fuck

potato peeler is best way

Who cracks them on the bowl? You'd have to be an actual retard

Me. Works every time

I knew a guy who used to crush them into powder and add them to salads for the extra calcium or something.

Are you serious?

Yes

May God have mercy on your soul.

God will crack my soul on the side of a bowl, like any self-respecting creator

What the fuck user.

I see you're a servant of Lucifer, spreading false information. The Lord would use an immaculate surface and one tap followed by a light squeeze.

I like to cook naked at night, I place a small bowl on the floor and crack them over my cock, the runny texture of the raw egg makes a nice masturbatory aid.

lol
Never heard of anyone ever craking an egg by hitting it on the counter.
Just use the edge of a pan/bowl like a normal person.

Lucifer is and will always be the one true Lord, he brought us the gift of light, and with that came sunny side up eggs and runny yolks.

I drill a hole in the top then use a straw to suck it out

>I like to cook naked at night, I place a small bowl on the floor and crack them over my cock, the runny texture of the raw egg makes a nice masturbatory aid.

I inject the egg with a saline solution until it explodes outwards

I crack it on my forehead, like any real man would do

Any competent chef will tell you you crack eggs on a flat surface. Using an edge is just asking to get shell bits in your dish.

I crack them with my gaudy ring

I use a spatula or a knife. Doing it on flat surfaces never gives me a clean crack 100% of the time, and shell in my egg really, really triggers my autism

This.

A flat surface does work. As long as you only tap the egg once, and with the right amount of force, you'll never get shell in your egg.

no

I've tried both ways literally hundreds of times. I get shell when cracking on a flat surface (tapping once) way more than if I tap a few times with a spatula/knife.

I just dissolve the shell in vinegar

eggs?

I'm never going back to cracking on a bowl or the edge of a pan. Cracking on the counter is so much more consistent.

whenever i crack eggs on the pan i get some egg white on it and it's a bitch to clean

so counter all the way

CTRL+F knife
found the slav

>some egg white on it and it's a bitch to clean
why is this?

even with nonstick eggs are a night mare to clean

I use my new WiFi connected Sheller™! Now selling for just $299

10/10
>and would sneak drinks and sometimes there were condoms in the garbage (my first mom was anatomically female).
11/10 for this line

So you got grounded on the perfectly normal assumption that if egg shells go missing out of the bin it must mean my son ate them.
If your second mum was an alcoholic it would make more sense that s(he) was doing some weird drunk shit in the bin and the egg shells had come out that way.
Something not quite right about this post

>Something not quite right about this post
Well thank god we have you on the case, Detective Autist

karate chopping it with the back of a knife is the best way. you don't get drool coming out like it does when you crack it downwards on some object.

Go back to >>>/reddit/ you tard, I was being ironic.

>i was only pretending to be retarded, don't ya know?

Well stop then.

>Does anyone else like egg shells? I remember the first time I ever got grounded it was because I found egg shells in the garbage and ate them (I didn’t know what they were at the time) and somehow my mom found out about it because she kept track of what was in the garbage because my other mom was an alcoholic and would sneak drinks and sometimes there were condoms in the garbage (my first mom was anatomically female).
>Something not quite right about this post
>Well thank god we have you on the case, Detective Autist
>I was being ironic
>i was only pretending to be retarded, don't ya know?
Jesus Christ you're stupid.

>always cracked eggs on a side
>very rarely got shell bits in
>heard this tip on Veeky Forums and tried it
>shell bits and always more of a handful to split the egg in half
Fuck you faggot

If you’re really this bad at cracking eggs the proper way you probably shouldn’t be cooking.

I tap them with a fork or something.

Depends on my mood, but usually the pan. I'll change it up and use the counter every so often, but that sometimes makes a slight mess whereas the pan method doesn't.

>you should be doin it my way even though yours works fine

I put the egg on the counter and then hit the pan on the egg.

with a fork

Oh shit no one ever comments on my posts. As a follow up, I separately developed an egg shell fetish because of mom #2. She had this old vhs porn video of herself and her ex wife where they were cramming things into mom#2’s butt and it started off with egg shells and coffee grounds (or maybe dirt, can’t tell from the video). I didn’t realize it was mom#2 in the video and fapped to it regularly as a young teen and then eventually I realized it was mom#2 because at the end of the tape I heard her talking (she has a lisp). I’ve never told anyone these things.

You should wash your eggs first with soap and water and a vegetable brush

>vegetable brush
Explain.

. . . On the counter or any flat surface . If you do it any other way you fucking suck and you should cut your reproductive organs off to prevent future generations of you from spreading.

Just punch the damn things

this is what happens when gays raise kids.

I like this method:

1. put a small hole in the top and bottom of the egg

B) put frying pan on floor in between your feet.

3: Get into a comfortable squatting position and gently press one end of the egg against your anus, creating a firm, but gentle seal.

4. Let out a consistent, gentle fart, pushing the insides of the egg out of the other hole, and into the pan. Don't force your fart or the egg might break.
5. Continue cooking for your father in law.

Might try this with the wife next time we make our sunday omelits

I was taught to make sure my eggs were brought out at the crack of dawn, moved about and even rolled through the dirt until well past sundown, cleaned up, and thoroughly cursed at the entire time.

Repeat the process until they crack.

I really want someone to do this and film it

All I have to do is wave them over my diamond hard dick and they instantly crack precisely in half.

I guess they're okay

You’re trying to hard