Hot sauce thread

I've never even seen the sauce irl and didn't hear about it until people here began whining about how it's for "soyboys". /pol/dditors love posting the same thread over and over again

>caring about what outsiders think about you while posting anonymous on a anonymous cartoon forum

>See Aardvark sauce.
>Brace for 'that thread'
>Sigh of relief when OP didn't go there.

I have no idea why those threads trigger me so hard but god damn.

Because they are literally just circle-jerks about the same joke in a new package.

I am curious to try the sauce though now that it's been shoved in my face day in and day out on this board. Perhaps this was reverse psychology to get me to want to give it a shot.

Pretty good, the Habanero one is my fav Tobasco though. Quite spicy but also delicious.

...

Not as good as vark.

You made the right decision. Your wife let's you have 5 possessions? I'm only allowed to have 3 and my chastity belt has to count as one of them. My wife only let's me eat 'vark after I do all of my daily, weekly and monthly chores and then I have to cash in my good hubby points. I'm lucky to eat 'vark every other week and when I do I have to eat it out of a dog bowl. I don't mean to sound like I'm complaining, I have never been happier, I just don't like having to eat outside on the porch when it's freezing outside (we live in Portland).

lol

10/10

I bought some ftanks red hot since everyone seems to talk it up. It literally is just spicy vinegar, it's dreadful. Srriacha is the best but nobody here can admit it because it's popular and I guess you have to be a contrarian to post here

'Cha has officially been dethroned by 'vark but it's still an amazing sauce

big fan of this, but it rips me asunder on the way out, which is strange because it isn't retarded hot in the mouth.

Some sauces have a bigger anal footprint than others. I have IBS and my doctor heavily advises against me eating any spicy food, but I can't help it. I'd rather eat Secret Aardvark or Sriracha and have to wear diapers than eat normally and not have as bad of symptoms. Have you tried Dave's Ghost Pepper sauce? I ate a dab off of a toothpick and I couldn't stop shitting in agony for 4 days straight.

How do you pronounce this anyways? Is it ta-pa-TEE-oh or ta-PA-tee-oh? Or something else?

legit this place on the other side of town from me is a hot sauce mecca. chilemojo.com.au they had a shipment come in last week and it has been wiped out completely within days. The meme is real apparently

You too could've had vark but you let it fall through you're fingertips

TAY-pah- Teh- ooh

I'm a patient sort, but why though? It's not this shithole is it? Hasn't been on Hot Ones for a while.

Tangentially related to thread, but does your asshole ever get used to super spicy foods? I love hot food and I can deal with it going in but coming out is a fucking nightmare, especially at work.

siracha to me just tastes like spicy garlic ketchup. I like it, but it's not really a hot sauce. It tastes like raw garlic more than anything else.

pic related is my go to every day hot sauce. I also really like the green El Yucateco sauce. Habenero Tabasco is interesting too, it's not that hot but reminds me of Jamaican spices.

Never

>Australia
lol, no wonder you make sour grapes posts about America all the time.

welp

For first we feast I'm Sean Evans and you're watching hot ones, the show with hot questions and even hotter wings.

I'm not allowed to eat secret vark anymore because it burns my wife's anus and vagina and her bulls' BBCs when I prep them.

As a vegan i take serious offence to the overrepresentation of meat in the hot sauce community. I used to love Hot Ones but all they talk about is wings.

dirty dicks is fucking awesome

Your dad is going to cry when he reads this in your keylogger

They have vegan wings on the show too

Maybe 1 vegan wing for every 50 carnist one.

this is my current favorite hot sauce. it's milder than a majority of other sauces, but has a significantly more complex flavor profile from being aged in barrels that were used for beer, maple syrup, and bourbon.

You're the minority, why should a YouTube channel with CHICKEN WINGS as a central theme fucking accommodate for you?
Fuck off

We are the majority in Portland.

Fuck Portland too.

I'm not allowed to have 'vark in the house any more. My wife's son thought it was some sort of sweet sauce due to having a cartoon on the front and drank a whole gulp.
I was in the doghouse for some time after that haha.

...

Wow, have you ever even been to the greatest PNW city in North America?
Portland is God's answer to drumf's hate.

cuckolding is also the majority opinion there

and soy

and communists

and nigger lovers

I think every vark fan experiences this at one point or another.

Fuck your mother also.

Stop being trolled by that "vegan" dude. Go get on with your life.

I was thinking about it but when I saw it at my local grocery store it was something like $7-8 for a bottle of some fucking meme sauce that I don't even need because I have El Yuca which is hotter and more versatile

It's Portland, I can if I wanted to because we are a PROGRESSIVE beacon of hope I drumf's fascist regime. Can you say the same you flyover hick?

:(
I was pretty upset. She gave it to Tyrone who tried it on some food and said it was "nasty". He poured it down the drain and tossed the bottle in the trash.
Now we're only allowed to have Frank's and it to spicy and vinegary for me :(

Furthermore the wifey won't take my cage off for another 2 weeks, but that's okay. As long has she and Tyrone are having a good time I'm happy.

I feel how you feel about Frank's the same way with sriacha. I just don't like that shit.

Muh personal opinion. I love Frank's tho.

secret aardvark (thanks arthur) is the shit, tastes fantastic and the burn isnt overwhelming. el yucateco is probably my favorite that you can get at cheap grocers

Is this what hot sauce does to people?

To be fair I'd hardly call Secret Aardvark a hot sauce. A sauce sure, but it is hardly hot at all. It is a sweet spicy mayo substitute.

gringo pls

But is it worth 10 fucking dollars?

I would pay $99 for 1 bottle if I had to. I can't live without my vark.

Fuck off with your retarded memeposting.

oh tell me about it friend.
Did your wife take away your vark too?
Worst thing is I can't even by 'vark locally, only online and wifey monitors all my credit cards and my personal bank account so it's impossible to buy online.
But I hear there is a place outside town, a wing bar with a gentleman out back who sells some 'vark. The rumor is it's $60 for a 3 tablespoon dip cup.
But I'm not sure how to sneak it inside my wife's house, she always checks my bag!

My wife got me a see- through child's backpack to wear so she can make sure I'm not smuggling in vark that I didn't buy with my GHP. I wear it to everyday, she tells people that it's my man purse which is true.

She got me a day-glo yellow fanny pack.
It's just big enough for a bottle of vark, but if she catches me she will be really mad.
I need advice!

Email Secret Aardvark and explain your predicament. Maybe they can make a habanero version?

I bought 2 bottles and threw them away

1/10

T. Patrician

butt burn doesn't feel nearly as bad as when it's going through your intestines, imo

pls, I need mah 'vark

this, unironically

Can I get any advice on how to rack up some Good Hubby Points? I'm really craving the 'vark.

Three words: Do your chores!

I put that $#!+ on everything! LOL!

melindas

I always let my wife's son, Ty'quan beat me in Mario Kart on Switch.
It drives me crazy when he wins!!!
But I do it for my lovely wifey.

I made this at home. It's my favourite sauce but it's a bit of a cunt too.

Makes an excellent marinade though.

Encona master race reporting in.

did you name it after yourself? LOL

Best tasting Melinda's sauce right here.
Their black pepper ketchup is pretty great too.

>>>/Reddit/

i really wanna try this but im afraid it might be too hot for me. their extra hot is delicious and id get the xxxtra if i could find it anywhere since extra hot isnt that hot.

I really want to try Crystal but it is not sold locally, is it worth ordering online? I know it is just cheap basic stuff but people keep saying it is amazing.

Try Crystal Extra Hot

Crystal is meh tier. They have it at our local shitty kebab shop. It's just an extremely basic red pepper sauce, it goes good on crappy fake arab food but it's not really spicy or complex at all, just a very basic red chili/vinegar sauce.

It's Tabasco sauce with less and better quality vinegar, less of that caustic vinegar bite. If you like Tabasco, you'll probably like Crystal, and it'd be worth it. I'd get the Crystal Extra Hot though, same as regular, just hotter.

...

lawsuit when?

I love vark but my only issue with it is that it fouls meat before you can eat it.

Explain.

It's like adding a packet of stevia to the meat.

Your first one is correct. The little dash above the "i" is an accent mark, so we know that this is the vowel that gets emphasis.

I am one of those people who likes the vinegar tang as much as the heat. That said, I prefer Crystal to Frank's. But theyre the same type of sauce. I like Tabasco as well. I recently picked up some Aardvark, and its really NOT a vinegar sauce. Still tasty, but the vinegar sauces are my go-to.

I don't know why everyone says vark is sweet. It seriously doesn't taste very sweet to me. Maybe this is because I'm an American.

Formula 47. Hands down best wing sauce I've ever had. Its the only hot sauce you can drink like a soup.

Having gotten started on spicy food about 12 years ago, I can anecdotally say it only gets worse with age.

I had to spend two months worth of GHP AND spend an extra week in my cage this better be worth it.

kill yourself

Hello Frank!

laffs
source?