Why is it that starbucks coffee is so awful

why is it that starbucks coffee is so awful
when it's not a caffinated calorie bomb milkshake, it's got the taste of instant coffee
if i order it black, it tastes like straight oven cleaner
if i order it black on the rocks, it tastes like watered-down chocolate
if i order an espresso shot, the fucking cashier "corrects" me by calling it "expresso" and it ends up tasting like a sweetness followed by the taste of burnt rat
i hate starbucks more than australians

because starbucks caters to the dumb uneducated masses

where do you live? every Starbucks in Manhattan is run by nogs and spics and if you're a regular they put a surprising amount of effort into making decent tasting coffee. I only drink americanos, so I wouldn't know about anything else.

employees collectively rag on their beans and it's pretty embarrassing that they've come out with a blonde espresso though

>if i order it black on the rocks
Solid kek. But overall the bait needs to be more convincing

>i hate starbucks more than australians

Well now that's going a little far, user.

rural north carolina

Starbucks is the same in central London. I received £40 worth of gift vouchers and had an extensive audit of every coffee on their menu.

Let me tell you it tastes like the bottom of a foot blended with the anus hair clippings of several africans.

The one thing I did like was a shot of espresso in their strawberry cream thing. That was palatable because it was 90% sugar.

But anyone can make a drink palatable with sugar so it doesn't count.

Fuck Starbucks. Fuck people who like Starbucks. Fuck the farmers who think it's acceptable to profit on their worst grown beans through Starbucks.

I like Starbucks.

when you get out of the city they just become every other mass coffee chain unfortunately. you'd probably get better coffee from nespresso

Stop drinking Pike's Place

The mention of expresso reminded me

>order espresso once
>barista asks me what size I want
>mfw

Some people just don't have the passion for coffee, OP

Someone told me that they purposely burn all their coffee so it tastes consistent for any location you go to. Not sure if that's true, though

Their more popular roasts are darker because of that, yeah. They do also have plenty of blondes, though. Mostly, people just order coffee, get served Pike's Place, which is simultaneously their marquee and their shittiest, and then decide that all starbucks coffee is shit.

you’re supposed to tell them how many shots and this is a universal concept

they burn them because that's the only way you can make coffee out of the cheapest lowest quality beans you can find. starbucks is ultimately a business out for profit and maximizing their profit is their #1 goal, not to put out a "consistent" or even "drinkable" product.

I'm a Starbucks wagecucc if you want to ask me shit do it. I'll respond when I get the time

This, it's essentially the fast food model, but applied to coffee.

I remember going to a (not sbux) cafe and ordering a quad espresso, and the dude behind the cafe was confused, he was like "you want a what espresso?" I had to explain to him that I wanted 4 shots of espresso in a small cup and then he got it.

This

how obnoxious are the women employees?

I feel like this depends more on a store by store basis, but generally most of the women are fine to work with. I find that the women who are most annoying are the ones who boss everyone around when they're not even a manager or shift leader.

But isn't an espresso just the standard shot? I was always under this impression

How close do I have to be to a barista before you'd make me a cup of coffee with beans I brought in? I want to try the clover on shit other than the reserves you've got

I'd say pretty damn close, I would maybe do it for my personal friends. I haven't had anyone try to bring in their own beans for us to use ever. Although I'm sure it's against our policy for customers to bring in their own ingredients for use in our machines.
If you are gonna try this, just ask for it as a pour over coffee, because it's easiest to clean up, and it makes individual servings of coffee

starbucks stores are comfy and i enjoy their drinks, sue me OP

zero chance they’ll use the clover. just go to a mom and pop that’ll do it.

>paying someone else to make your coffee

You get what you deserve

>black on the rocks

god i fucking hate white people

>I'd like a black coffee
Sure what size
>Regular
You're that guy too, aren't you?

Who the hell has a clover outside of starbucks? I've never seen one

just goto the circle k trash gas station. they have an impressive espresso machine. make a shot and throw it in your coffee.. those tards dont give a fuck what u do.

It doesn't just taste like ass, its mad expensive and also really bad for you. And yet normies have no problem spending 20 minutes queuing up for one then complaining "oh noes why is there nothing but shit coffee everywhere I go". Fucking bastards.

Starbucks coffee is the worst. It's burnt. They drown the terrible taste with other crap.
I have about a hundred coffee trees and it is smooth. Like a dark cocoa flavor.

Sometimes you want something slightly sweet I find that the macchiato with half sweetener is pretty great. Also I have never been corrected on espresso. Sounds like your particular Starbucks sucks.

it'd be a waste of money if i refused to go because the college gives us $200 starbucks credit every semester

In order to ensure it tastes the same across the country, each bean is carefully burnt to give maximum accordance to specifications, lovingly.

Buy a 100+ USD grinder and get some good beans. It will change your life.

>it'd be a waste of money if i refused to go because the college makes us pay $250 for a $200 starbucks gift card
ftfy

I have a good grinder and get my beans from the best roastery I've ever found. I still have to get coffee when I'm traveling.

I roast my own beans, I have my own trees. I live in Guatemala.

>tfw no Starbucks drinking cute white gf

Must be nice

>Sounds like your particular Starbucks sucks

They all do, user.

>Coming back to it at least four times, ordering at least four different things
How cucked are you? Just find a place which does decent coffee and stick to it, retard.

Being from Australia on holiday in California, I wanted to see how bad Starbucks is.

Tried the infamous Pumpkin Spice latte: Tasted like the spices you'd expect: nutmeg, cinnamon, but overall tasted weird, like a factory-made syrup chai latte in a weak coffee.

Latte: Tasted like plain milk, barely any coffee flavour

Flat White: It was actually more "velvety" than what you'd get back home, almost unnaturally so, like instead of texturing the milk, it tasted like they thickened the milk with corn starch or something like xanthan gum. The coffee side of the drink tasted like burnt charcoal with no flavour of coffee whatsoever.

>They all do, user.
You guys always claim this, but I note that none of you ever bother to engage with my posts showing why you're wrong

if i wasn't a poor ass college student with no car i normally would, but the college gives us $200 starbucks credit.
and no, it's actually them giving it to us. i checked my bills and i didn't actually directly pay for it.
it'd be a fucking waste not to use it

>black on the rocks

Is their starbucks different from arse tarbucks?

>give college money
>college gives you a $200 gift card
>don't think of that as paying for it
lol

>coffee

lmao

Durrr I want espresso
How many my dude?
Duuurrrr the espresso

>if i order an espresso shot, the fucking cashier "corrects" me by calling it "expresso"
jesus christ how completely unprofessional and juvenile. i hope youre trolling OP

See Not that different, like I said, the latte tasted of burnt charcoal. Maybe someone else could taste a tar like flavour.

Yeah, I'm not claiming everything on their menu is great, just that you can get a perfectly fine cup of tea or coffee at most Starbucks. It gets significantly more hate than it deserves.

Also, you can get a much better than average cup of coffee if you go to a Starbucks that has a Clover.

because it's basically instant coffee
i don't know why they even bother buying good coffee to just have a teenager scalding it to make watered coffee

tfw I ordered a cappuccino and the barista said "cream and sugar?"

I gave her that same look and then walked out.

>orders his coffee "on the rocks"

I think you might be the problem here, not the shitty coffee.

I went to the McDonalds of coffee and the teenaged employee was ignorant about how to perform their service job, and my coffee was mediocre. I now tell stories about it on the internet.

The clover stuff is dramatically better than their regular stuff.

The one redeeming quality of their coffee that nobody has mentioned is that they make it pretty strong. It's stronger than most other chain's coffee. So the drip coffee is good for a convenient caffeine fix without having the wonky additives you find in most energy drinks. I'm not saying the coffee is good but I am saying it's convenient for us caffeine fiends. At other places I have to get drip with a shot or two in the dark.

Starbucks coffee is fine. You're all acting like it's McDonalds or something. I happen to know that, no, there's no corn starch in the milk and they aren't instructed to burn the coffee, no, it's not instant coffee. They make coffee the same way you'd make it at home, but they have access to higher quality equipment and whatever recipes they use. The employees are paid well and are more competent than your average pleb.

No, I'm not a shill working for Starbucks, I just know people who work there and know how it works. Its really just hipster anti-chain folks who irrational hate on it.

we got a badass here

I mean, I've gotten Jamaica Blue Mountain on the clover, which is a damn good cup of coffee.

I think everyone is just getting the dark roast without realizing you can ask for other blends. While it does hide the flavor of cheaper beans, that's also the flavor the public associates with coffee.

They're getting Pike's Place, which is the shittiest roast Starbucks has, but also their flagship for some reason

I love Starbucks threads, the autists here really struggle with ordering simple coffee drinks.

What is the most tedious, complicated drink you could possibly order at a starbucks?

It's not complicated, but the baristas I've talked to don't love doing pour-overs since they take time and patience

See Once again I think your particular Starbucks sucks and if you ever have a complaint you can always get a new drink or call corporate. I have only had a few screwups over the years with my drinks and that was from them not supplementing milk when I requested

It's not about screwups, m8. Pike's Place is just not a good roast. I've had it all over the world, and even brewed it up myself with the beans they sell. It's never better than mediocre.

Because black coffee is fucking terrible you fucking retard.

I agree OP, you tell em

Goddamnit, I love me some chinese marketing.

their espresso isn't that bad

but FUCK EVERYONE WHO EVER USES A LATIN AMERICAN OR OTHERWISE NON DARK ROAST FOR ESPRESSO YOU CAN FUCKING DIE YOU PIECES OF SHIT WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU I WANT A FUCKING REFUND THIS SHIT IS GROSS

Because black coffee is fucking terrible AT STARBUCKS

Fixed it for you

when i see people order straight espresso, they usually specify "solo, doppio, triple, or quad."

>tfw the best latte I've ever made was with a light roasted naturally processed Rwanda Abakundakawa flavored very lightly with maple syrup and brown sugar

I kind of like one of their blonde roasts (I don't remember the name). Also, I occasionally get an iced coffee there. But generally, Starbucks is pretty dismal.

>I only drink americanos, so I wouldn't know about anything else.
Starbucks' espresso is even worse than a lot of their coffee. I am more of a coffee drinker, but if I get an espresso drink I'm definitely going to the hippie place 5 miles over. Also if you have a decent Turkish or Southeastern European restaurant around, you can get a really good cup of Turkish-style coffee.

I’ll take the BRAAAAPPICINO

Espresso comes in short and long shots.That's what the barista weas asking.

Shit beans and minimum wage employees that don't know how to make coffee.