How was your valentine's day, Veeky Forums?

Had pizza with my gf. She was in her period but she gave me a blowjob which was nice of her. I don't deserve her. She's too good for me and I'm just a miserable piece of shit

kill yourself

Go for it but that relationship won't end well

I fucked my boyfriend
then he cooked my a steak
afterwards he sucked my dick while i watch horror films on netflix

If this is true then I'm happy for you.

very gay

I spent the day writing /d/eviant pornography, and the night playing some fa/tg/uy shit, where we had a fun Valentine's themed one-off.
I only managed to write 3,000 words yesterday, which isn't the pace I was hoping to achieve, but it'll do for now.

I microwaved a leftover pork chop, ate it and went to bed

fine thanks

We went out last Saturday to a nice place, since weekdays are too busy. Proposed to her, she said yes. Last night she made ribeyes, mashed potatoes and asparagus. Feeling good.

lol enjoy your life idiot.
how will it feel when she's sucking off Jamal and cooking him ribs while you may for her son's college?
Cuck.

>you may
What?

i picked up a perscription for my 70 neighbor, i saw one of her tits bc she was in a a bathrobe, i also stole money from her and used it to buy cigarettes and some tums, came home and drank taaka vodka and when i ran out i drank a bottle of bitters

And they said there were no girls on Veeky Forums.

Pretty good - went to the gym and got shitfaced afterwards. Made some cajun shrimp and smoked some herb and passed out with one of those cam sites left on.

>Got a bit sloshed
>Ate really expensive truffles
>Watched Blade Runner with some friends
>Paid a new hooker off Backpage for the gf experience, she cried a bit and I gave her some truffles I had left, then we had a really lovely chat and fucked missionary. She didn't want to leave after the few hours I paid her for, so she stayed the night and made me breakfast.
Not bad. She just left a few hours ago.

why the hell was she crying?

New to hooking. She was nervous and felt ashamed. Apparently I'm the second dude period to get it in, and not under the circumstances she wanted in her life.

Was she hot atleast?

In like a slightly chubby girl next door kind of way. I'd date her if she wasn't a hooker.

/f/

fucking how?

Went to a bar with a buddy, drank/played darts till 2am then went home and fapped to my waifu

>Woke up at 9:00 A.M.
>Thought "fuck it, I've worked 2 10-hour days this week and have 3 days after this to do 20 more hours"
>Went back to sleep
>Finally got up at 5:00 P.M. and showered after a voluminous mac and cheese shit
>Continued watching Breaking Bad where I left off somewhere in season 4 up until halfway through season 5
>Paused the show to do some chores and eat 3 hot dogs with buns and Dijon mustard
>Dismembered half of my early 1980's sectional sofa with a screwdriver and scalpel which I'm replacing with tax return money any god damn day now when the IRS finally gives me dat sweet money
>I'm r9k-tier, so I have to move shit on my own these days (no one to help) and my landlord actually prefers my method versus dragging a large piece of furniture out and leaving it near the dumpsters
>After that, I went back to watching Breaking Bad and it was past 12:00 A.M. today, so my story ends here

Now I'm at 23 1/2 hours awake and not tired.

Didn't make this clear, but I take apart furniture and throw away pieces of it in the dumpster over a period of a few weeks. Just one piece at a time whenever I go out, no hurry.

If by any chance you are snakeguy, hurry up, I need more wanking material.

My boyfriend has the flu and I’ve been sleeping on the couch for a few nights because he’s up coughing all night and infecting everything. But we watched a horror movie and he bought me takeout because he’s too ill to move. And I ate some of the chocolate I gave him.

I got a job rejection letter on Valentine's day. Top fucking kek. I am trying very hard to not kill myself.

>And I ate some of the chocolate I gave him

He should electrocute you with a cattle prod.

We ate them together, numnuts.

At least they sent a letter. All I get is automated emails.

I'm not sure if I'm your guy, but there's definitely snakes in my posts and writing. What do you hope to see, user?

Would you say you’re a ham beast or just obese?

Well firstly some link, if you were a snekguy you would probably know yourself : pastebin.com/dHd9iFCN

Gib me everything literotica, archive of out own, pastebin ....

100% sure I would be single if I were either of those.

I met with the director, submitted paperwork of my life history with very personal information, sat in on a day's operation, interviewed with shift supervisors, consented to a background check... and then the lady dropped all communication with me.

Then I got a letter. On official fucking government letterhead with her signature in perfect fucking ink. This bitch strung me along since OCTOBER 20 thinking I was gonna get a job. FUCK the FUCK government. It sucks.

Give him headpats and cuddle wirh him, he will instantly feel better.

Me and my gf cooked beautiful lamb steaks from the butcher that morning, marinaded in red wine with rosemary and cumin - cooked rare.

One of the best things I've ever cooked.

Fag

Made chicken katsu curry and played Kingdom Come: Deliverance

So ok I guess

Pretty good, made some blackberry glazed salmon with the gf and some apple and pear shortcakes for dessert. It was a fun night.

Pathetic. Masurbated with mayonnaise and cried myself to sleep.

>Work 2 hours OT
>Come home and eat tacos and watch star trek
>Don't have to buy any shit
>Don't have to go to noisy restaurant

Better than most years by far

Why wouldn't he be? Can't OD on benzos retard.

Imagine being a literal retard

made tacos with gf, then we banged

I got some giri choco from my students, but a lot of them love baking so it was pretty naisu desu ne

Didn't know Veeky Forums had such a wonderful recipe for sour grapes.

>work
>be ignored by grill
>play ffxii
>eat pork tacos from cafe rio
>get drunk
>watch legion of skanks
>shower and listen to every time I die
>sleep
It was fucking awful

I'd been basically unintentionally edging for the last two and a half days, so once I was sick of doing actual work I decided to get it over with, as the blue balls were getting painful. I just kind of stopped giving a fuck at all, and while it wasn't exactly the most intense, it was the most voluminous and longest lasting. Really, I felt like a physical weight was lifted off my entire crotch area, and I instantly became less irritable. The irritability had been getting difficult to contain, which was the main reason I decided to finish this journey. I hope I never do that to myself again, that shit was awful.

That hooker bit was hot

i baked a lot of cookies and gave them to my friends and acquaintances at my uni.

In the previous year, I had a roommate buy a ton of sweets and he gave them out to his friends. Was neat, so I wanted to do that.

used Alton's Browns recipe for chewy chocolate chip cookies. Most people said they were good. One guy rated it 4/10, needed to cream the butter and sugar properly.

9/10 would do again

save her from a miserable life user

The only thing that tastes better than my cooking

Is me ;)

Gay.

Went to a funeral.

R.I.P grandma.

You get me, it won't just be Jamal it will be shay-kwon, Nathaniel, Denroy, Trey, G-dog and a whole list of other pathetic name

My girlfriend has strep and is on her period. She was mad at me for not getting her flowers. I bought her a bulk bag of chocolates, a card and a stuffed animal. Shes still upset. We haven't fucked since January 24th

But who's going to save you from a miserable life

tell her that semen cures strep throat

I dont like blowies

My boyfriend told me he confessed feelings to another person who also confessed feelings back. Didn't tell this person about me and that we've been together for many years.
When I started to get upset about it, my BF told me to calm down and acted like this wasn't a big thing or anything wrong because he loves me more.

Happy valentines day

I want to kill myself.

Lol.. Brutal, dude.

I met up with a guy from Craigslist and sucked his dick, afterwards we went down to a local bar and had a few drinks and a nice meal. He met up with another friend of his and we all ended up going back to his place and I let them both fuck me.
It was my first ever threesome and my first gay experience.
They've been texting me today to see if I want to come over "for drinks"

>making a backup plan
nice

Be creative, there's more than one way to get semen in your throat.

The interaction with alcohol is what makes you OD, dummy.

We call this emotional abuse in the biz, and he will fuck her only on the condition that he will not get caught. gl

leave him

this

Cool

Made lasagne, chocolate cake, and got fucked in my ass by my boyfriend.
Pretty good/10

Enjoy having her eventually cheat on you with a woman, user. You don't marry women like that. I hope you're not intending to do that and are just having some temporary fun.

I just got drunk and listened to Magma and Nick Drake.

is your bf my bf

Had some good sushi, fucked my bf twice. He let me get rough, it was fun.

>eventually cheat on you with a woman
Not him, but when my gf wants to do another woman I don't consider it cheating. I can't figure out what kind of man would think otherwise, so I'll have to give you credit for being a dyke. You go gril!

The kind of man that hasn't completely lost his mind yet it would seem. A rarity.

Sharing is caring.

whats it like being gay

just remember that she is testing the waters with MFF but really wants to get spit roasted

didnt even know it was valentines day. I have no gf and dont have the energy to care about it

went to kfc and got picrel with my gf

Hello fellow wageslave... it'll get bett...eh probably not actually.

Great. Made my special lady some chicken parmigiana and got some action against my will #metoo

user when a girl gives you a fuck number always use the multiplier #claimed (2.56)= actual dicks taken