Keto Meme Bread

bumping. i'm getting hungry...

bros i don't think this is lookign too good. I drizzled some olive oil on them to hopefully get some color on the crust. looks fucking raw.

hows the inside look, op?

not done m8, still gummy...

Egg wash?

your'e right i should have used the yolks i threw out. next time.

You threw out three perfectly good yolks? Could have made real mayonnaise. Would have given you something to do, too.

This desu. Wasting the yolks is retarded.

I've bookmarked this recipe. Will look into making it myself some time. What do you think went wrong? Did you follow the directions precisely?

i know but i was feeling lazy. usually i would save them but then i end up with a bunch of pint containers full of yolks in the fridge and they go bad.

pretty closely yes but with baking its usually trial and error with recipes. I took them out of the oven now and letting them cool. will update when they are ready to eat. doesn't look too bad imo

Also report back on whether they give you explosive diarrhea. I'm not even gonna try them until I know the risks.

damn these are actually really good.

I'll wait for the bathroom report before mimicking you.

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lmao ok will report

Toast one or grill one in a pan with butter. I want to see how well it does.

little grilled cheese action? comin up

Yas. Do it.

If it works I'm definitely turning to this.

here we go lads

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>people on a no carb fad diet
>constantly going out of their way to eat bread

fuck off already with this keto shit

Crumb side to the pan! I gotta see if the crumb can go golden. Butcher one if you have to. It begs the question: why can't a larger loaf be made? Is the rise so weak that it won't work?

probably. next time i'll try to do a regular loaf.

This one is for science. If you're not legitimately curious if fake bread can make a grilled cheese, I don't know what to tell you.

little golden, very tasty. it does have a slight bitter aftertaste but it's fine.

some of us like to avoid our carbs to cut and it turns out that grilled cheese and sandwiches are fucking delicious ffs.

i will definitely make this again this week.

Hey, I see some Maillard on the top of that crust. Very promising.

best gluten free shit i've ever had desu

Actually you won't see a lot of people go out of their way for this stuff. This is like vegans creating fake meat products. Some might like it, but serious people do not. Bread itself isn't even that high carb in some cases. I could easily eat a sandwich on keto. It's just that I never really enjoyed bread in the first place.

I wonder if some cheese baked on top of the rolls would work. Seems to take a long time to bake. What's up with the boiling water? Does this activate the almonds, or make the laxative husks bind to the egg whites?

That's probably because most of it tries really hard to avoid eggs (as in, veganry). I think the albumin is what's holding the fiber particles together. The almond flour is giving it the mass.

>literally activating the almonds
kek, i think that is whats happening. don't know really. i think it took about 75 minutes to bake, i would use higher than 350F next time. cheese on top would definitely work. you could do an italian herb and cheese mix in the dough. sounds good.

thats true gluten free shit from cafes and restaurants are always vegan. fucking disgusting sawdust baked goods.

I wonder what would happen if you beat the shit out of some egg whites, then gently folded the dry ingredients in. Could you get an airier crumb?

thats an interesting idea but i'm not sure how well it would hold up.

Well, soufflé-like technique with soft peaks, yet with the almond flour and some husk for tooth. I think it could work.

guys i just farted and it was completely rancid

maybe i'll try it tomorrow. dump the whole mix into a small pan to make a loaf?

Yeah, I'd start with the loaf size experiment first.
This is why you're diarrhea-testing the recipe for us.

To be fair diarrhea can be a godsend on keto. Some people don't get the fiber they need and end up backed up.

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if anything this should help my gut. lately i've been shitting loose stool multiple times a day. not sure why.

Ah, maybe so. Perhaps this balances the digestional equation. I've been doing this for years, but I wouldn't consider myself constipated. Every 2.5 days, the poop logs slide right out of my ass.

Ah. Have you just started this? Are you eating more vegetables than you used to? I hear this a lot.

Fuck off faggot that's my boyfriend your talking about

no desu i think its too much hot sauce and other weird shit i eat like lots of pickles. also booze on the weekends.

That sort of invalidates your rancid fart observation. Gonna have to wait for a conclusive sign this fake bread recipe actually makes your ass explode.

For instance! The last time I ate gluten-free crap, some friends were doing a dumb experiment. I heard them talking about changing the proportions of fucking everything. Particularly notable was how they were talking about using 3-5 times more xantham gum powder. I had like two bites of the end result and was violently shitting about one hour later. I think it it's gonna do anything, it's gonna happen pretty fast.

Otherwise, it seems like a safe recipe so far. It's been almost two hours.

op here. i feel fine. i also ate dinner, pork with veggies. im going to make another batch of this bread tomorrow and include a roll with my lunch at work.

>low-carb

why do people fall for this shitty meme

All right, cool. Sounds safe. Gotta see a full slice of fake bread.

it works faggot

This desu. It stops water retention in its tracks and gives you a really steady energy boost with zero cravings when you enter ketosis.

Even 70g net carbs per day is still "low carb."
As long as you don't eat many carbs at breakfast and lunch, you can still have regular bread at dinner.

Yeah, but it really kills variety when you're wasting so much carb intake on bread.

i try to keep it at 30g or less desu. realistically im probably hitting around 50-70 when you add up all the small shit from beans, lentils, and nuts. i wake up and have 30g of oats and 1 scoop of whey with water and a coffee. lunch is spinach salad with lentils. dinner is chicken with veggies and lentils and another scoop of whey. it has been working for me i've shed a decent amount of fat and still have decent gains. pretty sure this diet has me at a caloric deficit. soon i'm switching to slightly above required now that im getting into more heavy and frequent lifts. i went from 18+% bodyfat to 11-12% in about 2 months.

that almond flour shit is way too expensive. 15€ for 1kg here.

Op here. I ate the last two rolls as slider sandwiches for lunch. Taking a nice healthy shit right now. No issues

gj m8

Cool. I'll try this recipe out sometime. I never really missed bread, but I can see it being useful for hamburgers at a barbeque in the summer. I could show up with a bag of my own snowflake princess hamburger buns like a huge faggot. It would be funny as hell. Still gonna try to make the BIG KETO LOAF?