Al/ck/ thread

day five of a beer bender. had to call in sick to school Monday and today. cant believe i went on another bender. im sweating fucking bullets

are you me?
28, I've never been on a date in my life, or had a gf
had sex once, when my crush stayed at my place, I was drunk and kinda flirty, got her drunk too, and we fucked all night.
the morning after she just fucked me again, and then she left.
she still friendzoned me again after that.
that was 5 years ago, we are still good friends, but not more...

It's a chill 80s fantasy movie. Watch that or Willow with Val Kilmer and the midget. Top comfy kino desu.

I have seen Willow though, classic.

There was this half-black chick that liked me and would have fucked me, and we got into bed on two separate occasions but my nerves were so insane that I couldn't do it. I was even drunk both times too, and I NEVER get nervous when I'm drunk. Like my entire body locked up and was tingling, I could barely talk. Then we just stopped and talked regularly and slept together but we never had sex.
I think it was better that we didn't though, in retrospect I didn't want to fuck her I don't think, she was just my only prospect before graduation.

I understand how you feel my dude. If it makes you feel any better, you're really not missing much. With women, it's always "What Have You Done For Me Lately". You could save her from a burning car, a few days later she'll be right back to wondering if she'd be happier with the hot new guy who just started working at the office. She'll always have a least a few guys on the back burner, waiting for you to fuck up, or even just for her to get pissed off for no reason whatsoever. If you slip up and your social standing diminishes, you come up short on the dinner bill, play a song she doesn't like, etc etc etc you better believe she's thinking about getting revenge with one of her beta orbiters.

The thing you're longing for exists only in the movies. Irl women don't give a fuck about you, even one who says she loves you. The only person in this world who can love you is yourself.

I have a few reasons to think why you may be right about some of these things because I've actually felt them in real life in certain situations, but mainly I'm just saying that and I read what you had to say and thanks for replying.

I usually end up going silent for a few days while on a bender, since I use an app to block all of my social media/text/calls so I don't do stupid shit. The girl gets upset, and then I have to put out some bullshit excuses about how I like her a lot and was scared of getting too attached. They eat that shit up, we make up, bang again, repeat

>You can outpace her a bit on nights at home
The girl I'm dating said she wanted to get drunk together one night because it would be fun. She drank one bottle of wine and was hammered, I had 12 beers about 5-6% abv each and was barely buzzed. She had some questions the next morning about why I wasn't drunk at all from 12 strong beers

> had to call in sick to school

Jesus kid, get your shit together while you still have the chance

>dating
It's annoying how normie infested this containment thread is. Fucking puking all over themselves alkies have wives and I'm a fit functional alcoholic with a well paying job and I'm khv. You have no reason to be an alkie if you have people that love and care about you.

Maybe he's a teacher

Broke my sobriety by drinking half a pint of vodka today. I was about a week and a half sober. Being a recovering alcoholic while still living with your parents is a fucking nightmare. I hate myself more for having drunk it more now than I ever have when I was drinking regularly.

It sucks man, but sobriety is an ongoing process. I know this is debatable, but in my opinion a slip up isn't the same as a relapse. Slip ups happen, and honestly a half pint isn't bad. It just depends on how you respond to it. Take it as a lesson, and write down how you currently feel, and how much you hate yourself for having done it. It's a nice reminder next time you get that itch

>You have no reason to be an alkie if you have people that love and care about you.
Bullshit. Hollywood A-lister multimillionaires who live in multiple mansions, have chauffeur-driven bentleys, have everything money can buy and are drowning in endless 10/10 vaginas are frequently still rekt as fuck. Having somewhere cosy to marinade your squelching sections does not automatically mean life isn't unbearable without being blackout fuckfaced 7 days a week.

easier said than done, man

This already.
There's always some brainlet that doesn't get that it literally doesn't matter who you are or what you have.

Hey guys
When most of you use the word ''bender''...
For instance: I've done a 3 days, 4 days, 5 days bender, did this, did that, etc.
Do you mean that you've been daydrinking-->pass out-->drink more-->rinse&repeat for eternity, or you've only been drinking in the evening? I just want to know if ''daydrinking'' must fit the definition of a ''bender''.

Thanks in advance. Oh, and yes, I'm drunk.

At least for me, bender implies drinking all hours of the day I'm conscious. It usually includes not leaving the house, not showering, and rarely eating. I'll drink when I wake up, pass out for a few hours, wake up again and repeat until my body literally starts rejecting both alcohol and food, and I have no choice but to stop. Only drinking in the evening is more along the lines of functional alcoholism

WHAT KIND OF CUNT THINKS THIS IS OK WITHOUT TELLING ME?? Fucking hell, zero net access on any of my pc’s until 6am. Tethered my phone, just to find that my monthly tethering data allowance is like one byte, and now it’s all gone. Kys talktalk, it’s fucking 2018 not 1998. Wow I’m bored.

Bender really has never been defined as only drinking in the evening.
You just drink when you are conscious for days.

Oh and yes you can still go out and do things on a bender, but probably not work unless you can freely drink at your workplace.

If I drink, I’ve relapsed. One drink results in me drinking to the point of being annihilated, which means going into withdrawal the next day, so I drink again. I guess some people drink the next day to avoid hangovers, too. Either way, it’s a relapse, so you’re back on the bottle for.. who knows. Days, weeks, years or until you die, because it was ‘the one’. For me personally, if I’ve relapsed, then if I’m conscious I’m drunk or drinking, from the moment I open my eyes. It doesn’t necessarily require day drinking, merely falling off the wagon and being back on the sauce.

Thanks for the answers, lads. I was asking the question because English isn't my first language, so I'm not familiar with that word. When I translate it in some websites, it's like the equivalent of... ''oh, uh, yeah, being drunk''. So I wanted to know.

I drink a lot on many evenings, which explains my curiosity. Daydrinking is quite scary and I wanted to know if a ''bender'' (as used by fellows here) was concerned by that or not.

Sometimes I wake up on Saturdays and really want to continue what I've been doing the evening before. Never done it, but I'm getting close now... Hence my question. Etc.

>Daydrinking is quite scary

Ya, that's usually the point when you go from binge drinker to alcoholic and start to get physical dependency. Even if you only drink in the evenings, you can usually wake up in the morning and function. Sure, you may feel like shit, but you can still function. Once you start drinking during the day, even if it's just sipping throughout the day to maintain that pleasant buzz, that's when your body starts becoming dependent and you get withdrawal once you stop. You said you sometimes wake up and want to continue, but really fight through it if you can. That's really how the true alcoholism starts

its horrible. dont,

>tfw remembering being a teen daydrinker. Whole world was fun, everything was an adventure, every day/night was turbocharged, hazard-strewn escapade, no blackouts, barely even a hangover
>then it’s suddenly two decades later and life is fucked to the very foundation

Thanks again. I'll bookmark the thread and re-read your answers tomorrow when I'm sober, because of course I'm not at all right now. I got close to daydrinking last Saturday, but convinced myself not to. I'm so used to black outs now, so much that wondering what black out me would do at 4 in the aftertoon (instead of 1 or 2 in the morning) is a scary question.

now you know why people kill themselves. life stops being fun and games, and becomes cutthroat and merciless. im hanging on til mom dies, then im outta here.

Should I go out and get another bottle of wine?
Or maybe beer... I have work at 6 AM.

its less an issue of dumb moves, and more an issue of being physically and mentally too fucked up to do what is required in your life for the next few days.

nah man. call it a night.

my exact situation down to the age, i dont drink as much anymore either due to the xanax/alcohol withdrawal i went through. That shit gave me PTSD

Will do Captain

This guy is absolutely right. If there's anyone wondering about this stuff, they should listen to this guy because he's speaking the absolute truth of how it happens.

Where does she live? I can help you out if you want.

failed my tolerance break for I'm starting to fall for the Veeky Forums meme boys, this is my third day lifting and I'm really enjoying it

can't barely move my body right now while having an 8 pack

tolerance break BUT* dammit

the Veeky Forums meme is the best you can fall for man. Once you become body dysmorphic every time you drink you'll look in the mirror and think "damn, I lost quality gains"

>im hanging on til mom dies, then im outta here.
I'm with you man. I've run the numbers many times over. I cannot afford to live, even if I give up the booze. I have no support network for jobs or crime, so once she dies, so do I.

With houses being so expensive nowadays and everyone living with their parents forever, I expect this is a common timebomb waiting to shart itself all over society.

>shit
>stand up
>need to shit
Fuck OFF

day 3 on the wagon. managed to avoid sobriety up to this point with weed and tobacco, but now i've officially dried up. my bank account also turned negative today, couldn't even pick up a tallboy if i tried.

Guys talking about relationships.

I'll say this, it will end. No matter for what, rn I'm addicted to going out and it's taking a toll on a 4 yr one.

Like others have said, girls are on the what have you done for me craze, don't get me wrong, don't put off girls, if you can one night stand, do it. Long term prob ain't for you, trust me.

Ask me anything btw, was out walking bc fuck being at home, now I'm 4$ domestic monster mug on my 2nd one.

I literally cannot ever imagine having my own house. I think I probably will live in an apartment forever, and I doubt I could ever marry doing that. Not that I necessarily want to get married, but not dying alone would be nice.

It's terrible in the UK right now. Even middle-earners can't afford a place. The average house price, and remember that a lot of houses are in areas so shit that there's no work and they're near-enough uninhabitable, is £300,000 ($420,000) even having a flat (apartment) here is a luxury if you're under 30.

thanks but no thanks.

I'm a 28 burgerclap with shit work experience. One and a half jobs since my hip collapsed on the second one and I had to leave otherwise I would have stayed most likely.
The thing is I am an only son, but holy shit I really have to be able to do something to at least SHOW my folks.

thanks man, I know it is the best meme to fall for

Currently drinking my beer with a straw and using the other ones as cold massagers

>the average house price is 420,000 USD
I'm having problems processing this.

That's above the average price of newly constructing a house in the US.

Finally down to a 100ml bottle in the morning and then after forcing myself to do normal things and chores for 6-8 hours I get to drink a 375ml and do whatever.
I bought:
>four 375ml 80 proof of cheap vodka
>four 100ml of the same kind.

So far it seems to be working.
I try to limit it to only 4 of each kind in case I accidently a bender.

I was buying 2 handles and splitting them into 500ml portions every day but the urge to keep drinking on an open handle was too strong.
Hopefully within two more weeks I can get down to just buying a 375ml of something half decent and drinking on it all day instead of needing the 100ml bottle when I wake up.

I also got me a half gram of some good speed to get a bump of in the mornings to help me try and get off my ass and do yardwork or bathe more.

Good news is
>My seperated-from wife is still talking to me
>I have 60$ in savings and a budget now
>I worked on my van with repairs
>Gnomes are gone and I was able to reflect on my life
>Started being nicer to all my old friends and family I pushed away

It's been a hell of a ride with yall but I feel like I have a chance for once.

There's my blog, cheers

i wish you success. hope it all ends a fairy tale way.

cheers my strange gnome bro, although I don't know the full story

is that supposed to be expensive?

you cant even get a house for $1mil here in sydney

I came to the conclusion that I was drinking because I was bored and it was amplifying the fun experience of normal things I did anyways. Now Im almost 6 months off weed + alch. I'm honestly not sure how I did it but at first it was just a day at a time but now it's like drinking doesn't even seem like an option. I just forget about it if it ever comes up in my head. I've had some pretty hard impulses to want to drink too. Ever since I quit I went from not having a job to having a shitty job and now I have a great job. I basically realized if I want to accomplish anything I have to stop being a little bitch and actually go out and do what I want. I also don't use AA (had to do it mandatory for a couple years from DUIs) because in my personal oppinion talking about drinking all the time just makes people want to drink while also putting drinking on a pedestal. Furthermore, while I did feel as if I had a lot in common with the people in AA I always thought that most of the people there just didn't have enough ambition and used it instead as a dick rating contest to see who's the more macho alchoholic. I will say running everyday helps too as well as eating healthy. My ass is about to run a marathon in a couple weeks.

I have no idea where this rambling post is going or means but Ill post again in 6 months when I actually hit a year to see if anything has changed.

Thank yall for the kind words

Full story is I went on a wildman bender that lasted pretty much 3 solid years of a rollercoaster of poly-drug and alcohol and a flurry of jobs legal and illegal.
Then one faithful night my innermost subconscious mind manifested gnomes into my life to torture me and others around me until I nearly hit rock bottom but caught myself everytime before I did.
I never paid much attention to these threads as I never frequented Veeky Forums much till last year as I was a feature of other boards.
Anyone to cut the point
>I posted here on al/ck/ talking like an absolute nutjob at first
>And I am
>then I started posting more and more
>slowly had an outlet to talk to my favorite anons
>Slowly regained my sanity
>Now I post all the time without all the
:Trapping and taming wild animals, relentless gnome-posting, multiple personalities posting :

You all were a blessing to have with me on this

Well that's countrywide. I mean if you look at places like Kensington, The median property price is £1,700,000. 3 mil ausbux

And maybe another user can give you a better look at the early escapades of Squirrelanon/Gnomebro

Also may Abe the Squirrel forever hunt in the local park.
Also If anyone actually saved any of my Squirrel pics please share, I lost them all and its sad

Faggot oclock here, going to try for the fifth time to sleep, but yeah this place really does help when you're verging on being dangerously insane. I remember when you went gnome hunting and ended up sleeping miles away in a tent, or, something. can't remember exactly because I was dangerously fucked up too. Glad things are looking up for you, hope you can keep it together.
Right, tossing and turning uncomfortably for another hour. Lets do this thing.

Don't stop posting just because you sobered up, bruh. Inspire others to escape this fucking nightmare before they too are gnomed.

Inspiring. Alcohol abuse is ultimately a result of what is going on in your mind.

Currently taking a month off to drop 10lbs and whatever.... I dunno man, I just wanna buy whiskey and chill out for a week, but the WD's suck hard benis and I need a job. Life is a con job.

I never sobered up man, I still relapse and cheat a bit on my drinking schedule twice a week.
And I never said I would quit posting, I will always post here as far as this website stays anonymous and al/ck/ threads stay up.
I will still reply and help others as long as people still help me or call me a faggotlarper.
I was just feeling somewhat happy for once, but it could be the speed wearing off now that its midnight and the 375ml is down to the last drop.
Wanted to give an update to yall, because no-one else I know cares to hear it.

I just got passed the violent tossing and turning, now I am at the soak my clothes in sweat hourly , soak anything I touch in sweat. Although sleep is still poor-quality, It is doable

How much are you drinking? Remember to take multivitamins and drink plenty of water, and if you have a healthy enough heartrate for it physical labor/working out during the day helps me sleep more still and not toss.
Since I started this go out and do normal-people stuff for 6-8 hours (aka not sitting on Veeky Forums or staring at the internet) It helped me

Oh yeah I remember when I did that, I grabbed a machete and a shotgun and ended up deep in the woods alone and passed out there. Did that multiple times, but once I mistaked the neighbors goats for gnomes and killed one and tried to bury him under a fallen tree.
I didn't even tell yall about it because I was scared that the neighbor would find out and kill me.

I did have a girl willing to marry me while I was an apartment dweller, but that relationship didn't last that long.

Hold onto a girl if you cank but if you can't, well, that's alcohol and social inability for you.

Hang in there it gets easier

Beer tapers are rough as hell for me, but afterwards I feel much better even If I go right back to liquor

>the beer weight gain
>the constantly foamy gutcontents
>the sweating!

Yeaaaaaaaah, I've done 8 months before it's just boring and I hate 99% of people anyways.

>How much are you drinking?
Day 8 of nothing. No drugs, no benzos, no booze and definitely no fucking sleep. Last night I dreamt during the 14 minutes of memesleep I eventually got, that I had to climb an 800,000ft mountain, by way of pulling myself up a broken ski lift with my hands. When I got to the top I couldn't speak the language of the people who I found there, so they couldn't understand my screams as I dangled 80k feet in the air saying I couldn't find a place to get off. Woke up at that moment so drenched in sweat that my mattress is still soaked now. All pretty obvious, sub conscious symbolism for the situation in which I find myself now that I'm sober, and still flailing round like a directionless fuck up who's scared to death of either relapse, or having to be sober forever and not knowing how the hell to achieve it.
I do take supplements and I'm actually eating for a change, I just hope the constant temptation to relapse doesn't fuck me, because I know I'll be instantly fucked again if it does.
Hope you can stay within booze levels conducive to continued improvement mang. I fear the road to irreparable insanity isn't too far off for either of us if we don't keep it together.

How fast do you drink that 375ml?
I would need to slam it, and would still want to drink more.

Well I normally do:

Early morning : Awaken fitfully again but this time can no longer take it so I pour up 100ml vodka bottle , 100ml water , and 200 ml healthy juice into cup
Morning-early afternoon: Try and keep as busy or focused as possible to ignore symptoms and try and go as long as possible not drinking

Then from roughly between 2pm-8pm I try to go as long as possible between drinking
125ml vodka + 75ml water with 200ml cranberry juice in my 450ml (roughly) coffee mug.

sometimes I fuck up and down all 3 coffee mugs worth within 2 hours because I am starting to feel pretty good so after each 125ml (1/3rd) I take out from it I add roughly 62.5ml cold water in the bottle so I technically get 375ml and then a bonus super watered down drink.

Yes I have a massive measuring station in my new improvised kitchen. Don't laugh
Tapering with liquor is dangerous so If I stick to this I will hopefully one day be able to just buy a fifth of something good and sample it whenever I want because I will learn self-control.
And all this measuring makes me feel like I am making and taking a medicine to stop the symptoms.

I hope that made sense? I am not looking to catch a buzz or get drunk, I am trying to taper with liquor until I get back to only having to deal with PAWS and no more intense physical shit.

Why No drugs, no benzos, no booze cold turkey?
That sounds like one of those wildly realistic dreams that is genuinely terrible that people here keep getting, Sounds terrifying.
Where are you staying that you can go through cold turkey wds?
locking yourself in a room?
do you work?
Do you ever think you can learn to moderate your drug/alcohol usage or is totally abstaining from them a more realistic goal for you, I understand that constant temptation thing thats why I would rather just be honest that I can never totally quit everything but learn when to do it and when not too.
Also what does faggot o'clock mean?

What food do you make when you drink? I'm about to go grocery shopping and thinking I'll get drunk tonight and want to pick up supplies while I'm out.

Find someone insecure who will deal with it if you deal with her bullshit. My gf has BPD. We're both miserable and going nowhere in life.

Also If I fuck up and drink all of the 375ml before 5-6 pm I just have to suffer for 12 hours till I am allowed to have a 100ml bottle no sooner than daybreak. Although sometimes I have lasted till 7-8am without the 100ml bottle.

I am on a weird schedule when I have to do 24/7 care of an elderly lady 5-6 days out of the week.

She is up and down a lot , but 6-7pm is normal bedtime for her and 4-6am she tries to get up but I tell her I am not turning the coffee pot on until 6:30am every morning. (she loves coffee) It also helps her keep what little schedule she vaguely understands (routine is important in dementia care) and it helps me with pacing.

I am doing better with the whole downing the whole thing in one go and then suffering for 13-14 hours.

But for once I have some willpower to say no, I will not crack the seal on a new bottle. Never been able to really do that before.
Although I am not a saint with willpower right now, I am able to have restraint more and more each day.

hope those trips arent a bad sign guy

>We're both miserable and going nowhere in life
True romance

Good luck with that.

I will learn willpower to moderate and restraint if I make it my life goal to gain that wisdom.
My health, relations with friends and family, finally being the person I should have been to my wife and my future is at stake here.
Better late to learn it then never, and I am still young enough to either go either way , Forward or backwards. I can still turn things around before I hit total rock-bottom. I somehow didnt lose all my family and friends and still have housing and a van, and my health isnt in shambles.
>Still have enough to go better my life
>Still have enough that what I though was rock-bottom before was just the surface and I havent seen nothing yet.

Respect and a salute to our fallen al/ck/s who showed up and spoke about the horrors of what rock bottom can really turn into
I wonder how many fallen al/ck/s there are who never posted more than a time or two and just lurked all day on these threads.

>The only person in this world who can love you is yourself
Which makes it a lot easier in relationships but it doesn't seem like a lot of people benefit from this here.

At least I'm getting laid, bro

It is working better than the beer tapering which made me just chug beers after a while and vomit foam and have liquid shit n sweats.

Unless you are not being sarcastic and thanks.
But I do know that it is a silly concept.
It works 5-6 days of the week and I only sneak in a little extra 1-2 days a week.
Although I have a bad habit of fucking up 1 day a week and buying a random bunch of sugary malt beers and random ass exotic shit and then making myself sick all day.

But this is better than 750-1500ml a day.
but the ideal sounds pretty silly to me too, but it is so far the only vague hope of moderation I have found, even if I cheat sometimes.
I just have to stay away from handles and literbottles because all bets are off and I cant help myself.

Okay fuck I think the second bump of speed I had back at 7pm was a bad idea I didnt think it would be this strong, so much for moderation.

Now I am super-typing massive paragraphs all over this thread.
Time try to focus on something else so I dont shit up the thread with too many mega-blogs

Good for you, I meant it literally.

Wrapping up day 3 sober. Wondering why I struggle to take interest in improving my own life. Seriously, when did I become such a lazy fuck? At least other alcoholics can hold down a job for more than two months. I can't bring myself to submit a fucking application.

>Gnomes are gone
For now...

>moving to a different state
>kind of feel like I should tell the store clerk who has been serving me alcohol every day for four years
>otherwise she might think I died

You should say something like, "eyy I'll miss this place, moving away." maybe you can get her number too

Thanks, I might do that minus the number part as she's 50ish.

...

I didn't catch that. Thanks bro