ITT food confessions

I just wear a jester costume and they assume I work there.

In most jurisdictions, only crimes at the felony level qualify as serious offenses; however, misdemeanor offenses can qualify for application of the three-strikes law in California, whose harsh application has been the subject of controversy.

The only condiment I put in my burger is cheese

Shut the fuck up and stop being a child.

>its just for selling drugs
Fuck, you're dumb.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Three-strikes_law

The biggest trick to stealing anything is to be 100% cool, just walk over, swipe the item into your pocket and move on. Acting weird and jumpy will clue the cashier into what your doing. Dress nicely and look sharp. Nobody thinks a well dressed person will steal.

The time to do it is when the cashier is busy. The cashier needs to be distracted by a large order while ringing things up. But be wary of other shoppers, they might call you out if they see you do it, especially older women and young kids.

Bring in a bag from another store and put the items into it. Most of the time nobody will care to even check it. Just be sure to have one in good condition.

Buy something. Someone who enters the store a lot but never buys anything is suspicious.

t. cashier

Also you could just buy it you stupid poorfag.

Found the plebian.

It won't last forever, simple biology. I used to be exactly that, ate burgers and tacos every day after school without gaining a pound.
Then about a year ago (I'm 24) I finally started gaining weight, not very quickly but still. It'll happen to you too.

I buy cashews and pistachios at the self-bagging stand and charge myself for cheaper products then go through the self checkout lanes.

it's not about being poor, it's the principle of the thing

hope my man doesn't park in the sun

if you own him you can tell him what to do

On one hand, three-strikes laws do get used by corrupt and or biased systems to cherrypick certain criminals based on class or race that are repeat offenders and fuck them up the ass while letting others slide.

On the other hand, if you know you've gotten jailed for shit twice, you're going full retard to keep fucking around.

On my foot, three-strikes laws are correlated with higher incidences of cop-killings because criminals at risk of a third strike will sooner kill a cop than hand themselves over for decades of prison time, even on minor offenses.

So it's balanced.

>The biggest trick to stealing anything is to be
White
But yeah then your other shit applies.

It isn't true unless you have a mountain of prior convictions, and even then the priors tend to have to be for something worse than shoplifting. ie A child molester gets out of prison then shoplifts a Snickers, the judge might throw the book at him just because he's deemed a risk. A klepto soccer mom is more likely to be recommended mental health treatment instead.

But it's just calories in, calories out
You just finally hit the point where your eating to much. Maybe you sit more now.

>t. cashier
stupid poorfag

I hate vegetables. I eat them, but only because I care about my health.

when i was a kid i attempted to shop lift a peculiar chewing gum pack but put it back after 2 minutes from guilt

I misplace items in supermarkets, for example I put beer bottles in the freezer and hide it under other stuff.

I found a loophole with the self checkouts where if you use the banana upc code when ringing up steak you can get ribeye for $0.50/lb

It makes me so angry when I see that.
Why do you do it?

To make the job less boring for the people who work there. I'm creating like a mini adventure for them and if the "time" runs out they are created by exploding beer bottles in the freezer.

Since I myself am unemployed I just want to give something back to the people who finance me.

Bitter and pathetic. Got it.

>attention whore calling someone else pathetic

Welcome to Veeky Forums, m8

I've seen people stealing whole bags of groceries, but i wouldn't snitch unless it's from a tiny shop that needs to make a living.

I think i went from buying meat every day to buying it only once every two weeks, just how insanely expensive they've gotten. Why would i protect the merchendice of a store that scams me.

Maybe the meat would be cheaper if everybody paid for it.

I doubt it.

Dress well. Enter corporate owned food store... NEVER a mom and pop or employee owned local business. Grab cart and go to soda/beer isle. Line sides of cart with 12 packs to create blind. Shop with purpose while holding a bullshit list and load up the middle with whatever you NEED. You are stealing to survive, not profit. When done, cover top with large bag item like kitty litter or dog food. Take out cell phone and pretend to have somewhat loud argument with no one on the other end. People will listen, but not look at people who do this. Walk out with the booty in a rush "God Damn it Mr. President, I am not going to pay a lot for this muffler!" Go to your car which you parked medium far into the lot and off load your shit. Get away calm and clean. You can obscure your rear plate in advance if you are paranoid.

>I've seen people
Black?

I keep forgetting this board is full of commie children who think stealing is a virtue as long as it's from a "big corporation"
Pathetic children who can't take responsibility for even something as simple as feeding themselves.

sometimes there is no money and you need to survive. If you are lucky enough where this is never the case, you are lucky so stop being a cock head about it retard. You are not special or better. You are more fortunate.

should've paid attention in school to get some of that magic fortune

Kids (white and black),old single men or retards. Actual 'i'm missing a chromosome' retards.

I have two degrees and used to teach public school. I have occasionally ran out of money due to health and whatnot and had to steal food. You are lucky if you haven't. Lucky, not special.

I'm sure that guy giving advice about where to park your fucking CAR is starving for lack of money, yeah.
Worthless little shits with worthless excuses. A thief is bad enough but a thief who claims he's entitled to it should be fucking whipped.

Technically women of all races are the biggest cleptos.

you should've taken a class where you learned financial responsibility. you know like learning how to take care of your money so you don't run out of it like a retard

>and whatnot
be real

you spent it on some irrelevant bullshit

that is good advice when you are not starving or have others to take care of that outstrip your cash.

>I have two degrees and used to teach public school
lol worthless degrees then

you're a retard not special

none of your business. I will steal if I have to. Id rather not, but I will.

confirmed female or homo

wrong on both counts.

>Lucky, not special.
If I were actually starving I'd go door to door offering to rake leaves or shovel snow or mow grass.
You're on Veeky Forums so you have at least time and probably also an Internet connection. Don't fucking pretend you'd starve if you didn't steal, you sack of shit.

i don't do it currently, but would if I had to.

Had to what? Steal or get off your fucking ass and do some work?
Pathetic child.

I am in my early 40s asshole. You are either supported by your parents or very inexperienced.

Not him, but people feel like it's their only way not to starve and take the risk. Not you. Why be jealous on someone who is less fortunate? Stop being so autistic.

or just responsible

you are on Veeky Forums... you are not a paragon of humanity.

You're in your early 40s and you are arguing about stealing on the cooking board of an anime web forum? Can you pinpoint exactly when your life went utterly of course? Jesus Christ.

Really it depends on the county.

Plenty of retards live to that age. Nobody here thinks being in your 40s makes you an authority on "life".
Fuck you.

>Not him, but people feel like it's their only way
If they're stupid enough to think stealing is more reasonable than working they should be fucking shot.
As indeed should the retard defending them.
I'm not "jealous" I'm angry because parasites like you feed on the rest of us and then you don't even have the decency to be humble about it.

currently it is fine. In the past, sometimes it was hard and I have been near homeless before. Not everyone has a support system to aide them when things like illness happen.

Niggers or honorary niggers with no respect for civilization

No idea what race, but at least you want to live in a peaceful society

you just an angry dick.

The world is not what you think it should be.

should've paid better attention in school

I may be a dick but I pay for my own shit with money I earned.
I'd rather be a dick than a parasite.

I very likely have more and better education than you do, but am not as anchored by morals. Be angry about it all you want. Stress is a killer.

good job then. dick.

>I very likely have more and better education than you do
you've said you had 2 degrees but were a public school teacher and almost homeless, no you do not. you have worthless degrees

What have you contributed to society? I have educated hundreds.

>What have you contributed to society?
not stealing

so... nothing. selfish and entitled.

i stole food to get by on. Never anything but that.

projecting

should've paid better attention in school

How about your fedora? Did you steal that too, faggot?

and dude projects his position in life and morals on others. So?

you're a pathetic loser that failed in life so he has to steal

These fucks are likely on funbucks for mental problems anyway.

I get by. You are a pathetic loser that is VERY angry at someone they will never know.

nothing wrong with hating people that break the law

I am an ICU nurse. I think I'm doing my part, faggot.

law? what does law matter when you have to eat to survive? I didn't steel batteries and booze. I stole bread and meat.

you failed at life. you spent how long at school getting 2 degrees and can't even feed yourself? pathetic. what are your worthless degrees?

It's not about the law, it's about private property. But you commie losers only believe in that when it's yours of course.
In a perfect society you parasites would either starve or get shot.

Don't even bother anymore. He will never understand. When he said that i lost all motivation to discuss further. Can hardly comprehend he has any form of empathy.

in a perfect society everyone would have food dumbass

>Can hardly comprehend he has any form of empathy.
What happened to not being tied down by morals?

Here's something empathetic you can do; don't steal.
I have still not seen a single example of you poor starving cocksuckers trying to find honest work. You just decided it was easier to steal and you were surely entitled to another man's property because you were hungry, right?
Prove me wrong and tell us all what kind of work you went looking for.

i was already employed as a teacher

Once the parasites were dead everyone left would have food, yes.

Why does every Veeky Forums thread eventually just turn into someone arguing with a troll? I figure that people just really enjoy trying to one-up each other here in particular.

Not everyone you disagree with is a troll.
There really are idiots out there who think they are entitled to other people's property without doing any work.
There's also at least one pathetic fuck out there who couldn't feed himself while employed as a teacher but still thinks he gets to brag about that job. lmao

I've never stolen something, at least not in my adult years. I'm not saying stealing is good. But sometimes people are put into a situation where it seems the only reasonable outcome not to starve and i understand that. It's their choice, their risk to take. if you even have an ounce of empathy, which you clearly don't, you would understand.

not bragging. speaking from experience... experience you have been lucky to not share.