What a Fedora Imagines When He Orders Black Coffee

>*A portly fellow in a flame shirt waddles to the counter of a Starbucks*
>"What would you like sir?"
>*The atheist squints around the coffee bar, his hands at the sides of his khaki shorts like he had two holsters. With one hand he expertly pulls out his wallet and with the other, he brings the tip of his hat down before placing his order*
>"Coffee. Black."
>*A hush falls over the patrons and staff. Women gush in their panties as whispers from men can't believe what's transpiring. The barista looks like he's about to faint, his grip on the cup furiously shaking as he slides it over the counter to our hero. If this order is taking place in the ghetto, several black people go DAAAAAAAAAAAMN*
>*The cheetoh avenger slaps down a sticky five and a quarter with his hamhock fist before mumbling to no one that they should "keep the change", knowing he's a far more euphoric human being than people that put sugar or milk in their coffee*

Don't worry dauntless fans of this sodium-hearted man of action, he'll be back in next weeks tantalizing issue, "I'll Have EVERYTHING With Bacon..."

I like this thread

Me too.

That was good. I laughed

For me it's the soy latte

when the coffee is good I always have it black, but the typical starbucks-tier dark-roast trash is only enjoyable with milk unless you're a masochist

>this entire thread
autism

The only coffee I drink is the ice cream coffee melt from 7/11
I hate coffee and coffee fags

Finally, the goatse perspective looking out

I thouroughly enjoy this thread

*tips*

Real talk: Do fedora wearing edgelords still exist in any real numbers? Or did they mostly die out in the early 2010s?

I'll still see them periodically, though nowhere near as many. Plenty of people with the attitude still, most of them are self aware enough to drop the fedora

Check out this thread
This people think they look manly when they drink black coffee and smoke a cigarette. In reality they are most likely ugly angsty teenagers that watched way too many movies.

the new generation of fat cunty edgelords all post on /pol/

its a fucking mug of coffee, not some gay pink cocktail. nobody gives a shit about what you do with your coffee

>Black coffee and smokes
Uhh... isn't that what anorexics do?

I work at a school and I see them everywhere. The lack of self awareness is staggering. They walk in with their punisher skull shirts or deadpool shirts. One guy had an assassins creed hoodie. I even saw a few with fidget spinners.

many fat smokers around

>>Black coffee and smokes
My favorite Squeeze song!

>Pumpkin soy latte chuggers so buttblasted by black coffee deluded themselves to believe that black coffee drinkers are ackchually the ones who fit the cringy fedora stereotype
Lol.

Someone made fun of your milkshake with coffee, user?

soyboys arent fedoras. they are eternal enemies

Eternal enemies, yet two sides of the same coin.

>horseshoe posting
Fuck off back to /mlp/

Nope. Soyboys and fedoras are one and the same.

>blackberry mocha
>120° F
>Extra shot

...

Is coffee supposed to taste good when you dump sugar and cream in it?

On the west coast they largely turned “woke” and are way into twitter feminism and turned into soy boys to repent for their years in 200x spent as “a nice guy”

They’re still loathsome, despicable creatures inside tho

Yes. But not as good as the cream wold have tasted on it's own.

Drinking black coffee is now considered being "edgy"? Is eating Quaker Oats for breakfast also considered an attention seeking act?

Kids don't count

Only if you are Extremely Online then you live in a world where consumption of milk, onion, or well done steak with ketchup makes you an alt-right nazi russian bot magalord fedora cuck soy boy nu male sjw with a side of neckbeard dressing

Largely on uni campus, theres always fat nerds that cant into social situations so they emulate people that can in a wierd alien way. The fedora is the clearest example of them missing the point of what made the men wearing them attractive and just trying to dress like them

Self-awareness is an acquired skill. Took me two years from 2011-3013 of being a rabid brony to get mine.

You think /mlpol/ will come back again this year? Or better yet, /cock/?

I missed most of the that crossover actually. I spent most of my Veeky Forums time on /fitlit/
But that was good too. They'll certainly never come up with something to top that one, so they might as well repeat it every year.

/cock/ maybe. /mlpol/ caused way too much trouble.

I drink black coffee because a flat white/latte has a similar amount of calories to a can of coke

Oh come on, we just raided /qa/ then hung out in /po/ before making our own chan with blackjack and hookers. Way less drama than mlp first caused on this site.

First, the picture is a Trilby, not a fedora.
Second, the "edgelord" is all someone's imagination applied to someone's appearance. They just books by their covers, and are often plain wrong.
Third, I've rarely ever seen anyone wear a Trilby, and I'm old.

>Trillby
Yes, you are correct.

>Never see anyone wearing trillbys
When old timey hats made their return to popularity back in the mid 2000s, the bulk of what I saw on offer and being worn were trillbys as opposed to larger brimmed fedoras.

>Old
I'll bite, how old are you?