Usually skip breakfast

>usually skip breakfast
>attempt to "start my day off right" with the good ol 2 eggs 3 strips of bacon and a cup of coffee
>arrive at work, 15 minutes in and every muscle in my body must cooperate to hold in the shit I now need to take
Do people actually go through this daily?

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amazon.com/Bumper-Dumper-Original-Mountable-Portable/dp/B006IVN03O
fastcompany.com/3033906/how-the-most-successful-people-poop-at-work
twitter.com/AnonBabble

yes pooping is normal and healthy

You're supposed to poop before you leave.

You're supposed to clock in, then shit

There are 2 things you should know about your body.
1. They were designed to get 1-2 meals within a 6-hour span
2. stimulants WILL fuck with your overall body energy level.

The food pyramid and breakfast is the most important meal bullshit is all a scam, it's to push the most diverse types of shit into your body as possible.

Truth is you just need 2 good meals in a 6 (some people say 8) hour window.

You body digests it and you get 1-2 good bowel movements and retain a normal energy level thoughout the day.

Coffee will fuck up your energy level and eating small meal all day long will keep your digestive track busy 24/24 an you will get small awkward shits.

>around 20 grams of animal fat
>coffee
>no fiber

hmmm I wonder why your ass was leaking, wise user.

someone should invent a toilet seat for cars

exactly, i always shit on the company dime

amazon.com/Bumper-Dumper-Original-Mountable-Portable/dp/B006IVN03O

made in the USA

Yeah, I'm with OP on this, if you absolutely need to get a breakfast in you should do it after you get into work because otherwise you will be struggling not to shit your pants on the drive there, which is particularly obnoxious since then if you have a meeting you were trying to arrive right in time for then you'll have to choose between shitting your pants and making it on time or going to a bathroom and looking like a flake and/or a secret drug addict who can't keep his appointments. Also if you hit traffic it's a million times worse.

I don't know why this became a saying like it's somehow out of the ordinary to shit at your office's public restroom. I do that every day I'm at work and I know for a fact from sitting right next to them that plenty of other people at work are in there constantly too.

>work
Stay being an actual shitter.

yeah i can't eat a big breakfast on a work day, way too much for me. i usually go for a piece of fruit or two and a granola bar or crackers. i don't really find that i'm any more or less hungry by lunchtime if i eat a bigger or smaller breakfast, but i certainly do feel like a stuffed mess if i'm full of bacon and eggs

>wagies literally nibble on a piece of fruit like some caged rabbit in lieu of a normal breakfast to better accommodate their owners
Jesus

I can't even imagine how revolting the smells of your company bathroom are, but thanks for sparking my imagination while I sat down to eat dinner and browse this southern US maggot skewering board.

Why are you acting like you work at a company where no one uses the bathroom?

I am erect

thanx, but i meant the driver's seat.

fastcompany.com/3033906/how-the-most-successful-people-poop-at-work
>We all have our tricks to avoid having to excrete at work. Friends and colleagues have admitted using the restroom on other floors, running to the Starbucks across the street (oh, the irony), fleeing the bathroom if someone comes in and throwing toilet paper into the bowl first to muffle any grotesque sounds. Others will sit on the toilet, drenched in sweat, unable relieve themselves until they’re sure there’s no one else around. Our most basic functions reveal us to be human and therefore fallible and ultimately vulnerable to disgust and humiliation.
Women are unironically retarded.

i hate women

>fastcompany.com/3033906/how-the-most-successful-people-poop-at-work
Just noticed this, what the fuck:
>In short, if companies want to create a more pleasant place for their employees, they should consider single-person bathrooms instead of the cavern of stalls.
I would be so pissed off if our bathrooms were single stall, most of the time you'd try to use one it would already be taken.

...

In America that IS the driver's seat.

>made in the USA

Thank god I don't live in flyover land.

>Americans trying to pretend they're different from Americans
Show me the city you're in and I'll show you a disgracefully high obesity rate.

He would have been crapping his dinner at that time, not his breakfast. Digestion isn't that fast.

Coffee does speed it up, though.

I think they mean like multiple single person restrooms, so you'd have the same number of toilets, just split up. Seems like a stupid idea honestly.
Though good for office romances, I guess.

>my healthy young cousin died for no fucking reason
>people like this live long and happy lives

>everyone's a good little wagie like me who's forced to suffer the indignity of shitting together with his fellow pig slop feeders
Thanks for your suffering, wagie, have a gold star!

>this southern US maggot skewering board.
HAHA!! LMAO. XD

i can't believe i missed out on this for so many years
fuck poop anxiety i'll actually hold it in now until work time

>(oh, the irony)

I suffer the same poop problem, exacerbated by coffee. For me the only thing that works is waking up an hour early to give me enough of a window to poop before work.

When I was younger I had the god tier combo of waking up at 6 AM, exercise/make brekkie/chill for 30 min till poop/shower and leave at like 7:00-7:30. The exercises&breakfast + poop&shower combo is absolutely amazing

yes, everybody poops. it is a normal & healthy thing to do every day or two

if this is a normal thing, i feel much better about the current state of my body. i don't eat breakfast because i'll end up shitting my pants on the beltway. i thought i was the only one.

my nigga

>tfw going on a run at 5 AM, having coffee/brekkie, taking a massive shit followed by a hot shower

Maybe it's the coffee

We did this in Canada minus the toilet seat.
Do people think this is an invention?