Waitress lightly rested her hand on my back when asking me a question

>Waiter pays attention to me and smiles.
Fucking queers.

What are you doing bleeding onto Veeky Forums? /r9k/ is the board for your kind.

>hear her wipe her hand on her apron after she leaves

this happened to you too?

back to ribbit, normie

I always figured that was her trying to force me to give her a tip.

>eurotard doesn't understand the concept of change

youtube.com/watch?v=Wn_0_ro04uI

>not give her the tip.
You had one job user.

you mean give her the tip heheh

I wonder if among all the grils on ck, there’s a single one who isn’t a hulking blubbernaut. It makes me sad that it’s very unlikely.

>he thinks /r9k/ isn't normie central
You're adorable. The board died ages ago. It's over. The true wizards left before you even got there. The grand wizards smelled the approaching storm and left before the board was even reintroduced.

>thinking anyone actually leaves ever

Yea but with my daughter

No one leaves the site, but people leave boards all the time.

>Go to restaurant alone
>Waitress forgets about me for 10 mins
>Just leave

It really is a weird effect. I never thought i would only be posting on Veeky Forums, but it somehow is the best board. It can't ruin food for me the same way /v/ ruined videogames.

Has this happened? Usually waiters are perpendicular the direction you're facing

Yes user, someone at a restaurant has gotten such an extreme boner that it went clean through the waitress' chest. It literally happened.

she wants to fugg.

This doesn't happen to me at restaurants but my dental hygienist rests her tits on my head all the time which is why I always keep my appointments

Under rated

>go to restaurant alone because I had a coupon for a free burger on my birthday
>waitress is super nice to me
>whole staff goes out of their way to greet me like I'm some make a wish kid
>food is fast and refills are brought constantly
They probably felt bad for me. It was an amazing experience.

Host/Waiter/cashier story time? I got two

>be me
>come back from camping
>go to A&W
>all my friends order
>they were never offered large orange juice
>get to counter
>order Canadian breakfast special and pancakes or something
>offers me a large oj
>fug okay
>brings us our food
>all my friends are eating and having a good time
>We finish
>leave a good review
>as we're walking out the same cashier holds a door for us
>Talking to friend
>"Dude, that's my waifu!"
>she heard
>we laughed
was a quality breakfast desu
1/2

2/2
>go to Canada's wonderland
>decide to go to East Side Marios for dinner
>come in
>like 2 servers around
>get seated
>Waitress is telling us we'll get served soon
>asks us if we'd like free bread
>how much
>Friend asks for a basket
>they give it to us
>We're ordering
>Waitress comes over
>talking about choices
>asks what I want
>orders the big spaghetti and meatball meal
>"Most people never finish it!"
>I'm always up for a challenge
>she laughs and leaves
>later as we're eating she comes up to us
>puts her hand on my shoulder
>starts to rub it
>friends all look at me
>say something regarding weight
>"Don't worry, there's just more of you to love!"
>we ask for bill
>tip her
>leave my number on the bill
>never get a call or text

mfw

She’s hot.

just kill yourself now and get it over with.

#hertoo

>girl smiled at me at McDonald's yesterday. My heart literally melted

>Lived in a rural area
>Every Saturday grabbed a book and went to a local restaurant
>The teenager waitresses greeted me and asked what was I reading that day. They treated me kindly
>Got lunch and started reading, then got a cup of coffee
>Hours later asked a waitress for supper
>Chatted with the waitresses and discussed local things(baseball, fishing, etc)
>Said my goodbyes, paid and went home

Miss my town. Restaurants in cities are always full and people speak too loudly. Also, it is true you cannot stay for more than a few minutes inside a buffet in America? I don't want to go there and be thrown away after opening a book or browsing my phone.

same, i also ditched /v/ for Veeky Forums (among a few other boards that i lurk)

How are you still alive?

It just depends how many seats are available. If there aren't many empty tables, it's obviously impolite to sit around reading. Go to the park or something.

what the fuck is this

Isn't food usually old or frozen in not so popular restaurants?

At this point waitressing and male waitressing is just prostitution. A way for handsome and beautiful chads and staceys to get money merely for existing.

"Let me pick this plate up from a counter and carry it to that poor beta's table. He will be so pleased to have the attention he'll give me the contents of his wallet because I'm beautiful and I'm suggesting he has a chance with me."

Fucking roasties. I refuse to tip on principle.

>waitress compliments my trenchcoat as she's handing me my check
I guess I can turn in my V-card boys, I tipped her a good 30% so I'm sure she'll remember me next time I go in

>bigly

Don't know why this guy was so worried about shade, I'm sure he had plenty under his fedora.

That happened to me at the orthodontist when i was getting my braces tightened, i was 14 at the time and almost creamed my jeans

>Stealing a 2 year old joke from the youtube comments
Come on user you're better than that.

All dental work should be done by wellendowed women

Cringe

Back to ribbit.

>cuban restaurant
>sitting at a table of 15
>4 pitchers of mojito's ordered on the table
>tell waitress ill have water with just a slice of lemon and maybe a pepsi
>waitress smiles in approval of my sober mindness
>refills my glass 4 times, not so covertly as she reaches from behind and brushes her breasts firmly held in her bra across my shoulder each of the 4 times
mfw

Die

Die

Die

>All dental work should be done by *short wellendowed women

So you get guaranteed tiddies to the face

>defacing currency
Enjoy prison

>leave my number on the bill
>never get a call or text
Had the same thing happen to me ;_;

Defacement of currency refers more to fraudulently attempting to give a coin or bill the appearance of having a different value. They do not care about you drawing a hitler mustache on franklin

You have to go back

Well it can't ruin food for you in the same way because you literally have to eat to live, but Veeky Forums will eventually go the way of every decent sized board with a decent community. I've seen it happen to /tv/, /mu/, and /r9k/. I bet there's some critical capacity where if more people than that start regularly posting/lurking on the board, it devolves into less discussion and more shitposting. The only boards I've seen immune to it are /sp/ and [s4s] but that's because they were more or less made for shitposting.

...

now lightly rest your cock on her back to return the favor

It was actually my joke. I just thought I'd give it a fresh airing while I had the chance.

>implying these were supposed to be feel good stories

This is the only time that i'll literally never tip. Like I want some cigarette smoking roastie slut that fucks half the staff there touching me with her disgusting dirty hands. The last time it happened at an olive garden and I told the waitress very calmly that she had five seconds to get her fucking hand off of my shoulder or I would make her do it myself. Women are so fucking smug it makes me sick.

>defacing currency
dude use a napkin or something

>commenting on YouTube videos
He was wrong, you aren't better than anything.

I hope you disinfected your back afterwards. Disgusting whore.

Go back to veddit

LOL

Irl /r9k/
youtube.com/watch?v=73uIPW4LRv4

Go back robot incels

I cant tell whats ironic anymore
But either way you should actually kill yourself

>waiting a group of 4 ladies
>they seem pretty cool and laid back so I joke around and smile
>chubby brunette seems to enjoy it more than the others
>leaves her phone number on the bill
>I'm gay

Awful story. Awful greentext. Awful everything. I seriously fucking hate you. Impotent tit.

R9k has always been shit, same with /tv/

Also /a/, /b/, /c/, /d/, /e/, /f/, /g/, /gif/, /h/, /hr/, /k/, /m/, Veeky Forums, /p/, /r/, /s/, /t/, /u/, /v/, Veeky Forums, /vr/, /w/, /wg/, /i/, /ic/, /s4s/, /vip/, /qa/, /cm/, /lgbt/, /y/, /3/, /aco/, /adv/, /an/, /asp/, /bant/, Veeky Forums, /cgl/, Veeky Forums, /co/, /diy/, Veeky Forums, Veeky Forums, /gd/, /hc/, Veeky Forums, /int/, /jp/, Veeky Forums, /mlp/, /mu/, /n/, /news/, /out/, /po/, /pol/, /qst/, Veeky Forums, /soc/, /sp/, Veeky Forums, /toy/, /trv/, /vp/, /wsg/, /wsr/, and /x/

>/jp/
NO. /jp/ JUST GOT SHITTY BECAUSE OF THE FUCKING GENERALS JUST LIKE EVERY OTHER BOARD. KAMINAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

>residual skin cells from the waitress on the change come into contact with me
Is there a better feeling?

Thats a dude, isn't it?

tell her that is sexual harassment and you wanna speak to her manager.

Does it even matter at this point?

>Waitress scratches your back and gets the spot that was itchy.

>get hair cut
>hairdresser presses boobs against me
>she's related to me

>on vaccation in Spain
>Male waiter rests his hand on my back

/r9k/ go away

Scared that you might wake up?

>waitress rests her hand on my thigh
>sue her for sexual harassment

whats the difference either way? its kind of like a glory hole. not knowing is your best option

>male waitressing

>he doesn't go to trap cafes
lmaoing at ur lyfe rn scro

Defacing currency only includes trying to make it appear as a different amount or making it otherwise unusable.

>waitress spills my drink on my crotch
>dabs it with a napkin
>diamonds

>He doesn't want his food covered in shit and STDs, must be a freak

I thought I was the only one this happens to

Are you retarded?

>>We finish
>>leave a good review
Kys

>cute waitress sees my erection\
>don't you think that feel better if it was in my butt?
>say yes and follow her to walk in cooler
>she lifts dress and inserts my dick in butt
>I push deep
>now see, doesn't that feel better?
>and indeed, she was right, it did feel better

true story