Celery is fucking retarded

I'm trying to make Antonio Carluccio's Mafalde (Fusilli) al ragu di agnello (pork), also found here: homesandproperty.co.uk/home-garden/food/mafalde-al-rag-di-agnello-italian-lamb-stew-with-pasta-ribbons-33294.html

Anyways, he asks for "a stalk of celery"
What did he mean by this? You look this shit up on Google and there are millions of retards claiming the entire fucking thing is a stalk, or each fucking rib if a stalk.
And indeed, the bag the celery came in claims that the entire thing is "1 STALK"

What do? Maybe anons more familiar with Italian cooking can tell me what the sane proportion of celery to everything else is supposed to be

Just fucking use as much as you want faggot, do you also need a recipe to tell you when things are hot ?

Yeah, and ideally it should also tell me if something is going to taste good or not :^)

>something is going to taste good or not
I'll send you a recipe for sucking my cook, you are going to love it.

if you weigh your cock in ounces instead of inches maybe it will seem more filling

A cock sucker like you doesn't even care.

Since you seem to be the expert in preparing and eating cock around here I bet you have a preferred breed, tell us your secrets

The recipe calls for 2 onions and 1 carrot so you could go for one (most obvious choice) or two ribs.

But I’m general it’s nice to have a lot of soffrito, so add more carrot, celery and onion.

Also tagliatelle, pappardelle,or even penne or rigatoni would be better then fusili.

Well, it's possible that I fucked up from the get-go (it seems that both american sheep and american pigs have really big shoulders, almost 3 pounds), but I'll definitely try out the other pastas some time

results
tastes breddy gud

This is my first time making a real pasta
I had always hated tomato sauce in pasta until now, and now I know that it's simply because spaghetti and meatballs is garbage in both thought and execution

WoW, thx for the blog, retard.

...

Looks pretty good despite how retarded you certainly are

>Buy celery
>Use 10-15% of it
>Throw the rest
Shittiest vegetable in the world, I can only use it for a thing or two, what the fuck am I supposed to do with the rest?

Eat it queer
Wtf is this? Is she supposed to be a kike or something?

I like serving it to your mother, I dont get the appeal but apparently it runs in your family

Celery + Parsley + Lemon juice + olive oil = "This shit is going to go bad soon" salad

Okay everyone in the thread is a dipfuck, one branch is a stalk thats all.

>throw the rest
Save it faggot. Use it and other vegetable scraps to make vegetable stock

I don't understand how people like celery that shit is disgusting

How is it more disgusting than other veggies. It's just like a milder onion. Except with strands.

Onion? Seriously? Celery tastes like dirt covered weeds.

Your picture is a head of celery.

A stalk comes from the head

maybe its just a supertaster thing. I hate cilantro too

>he doesn't enjoy mirepoix

Widen your palate user

I do enjoy it as long as it doesn't have celery.

>i-i'm not a p-picky eater!
>i love the thing when it doesn't have one of the core ingredients that makes it that thing in the first place!

Something something, when I stalk I always get head

that's gotta be some fucked up celery you ate

wrong link

t. genelet

i only like celery if it's cooked down really far, and very soft. otherwise the flavor is too spicy for me

I always do a mirepoix whenever I make chili con carne, gives it a much better flavour