Wifey material thread

Top right is store brand cheese and noodles. Bottom is creamed corn.

You Europeans are retarded

yurocucks are asleep

It's almost 6am in london. You're also retarded.

I weep for the poor men who must suffer through this cooking. I'm so fucking glad my gf and I know how to cook.

pic or lying

I'm not posting my gf on a korean kickboxing knowledge base.

I know better than to do so. I made the mistake of posting my sister on here back in 2007. Never again.

>Sharpie in pooper
FTFY

Post her feet

Post her dick

Nah.
Nah.

beta

Do Americans really eat like this?

No, we mostly subside off of McDonald's.

No, we subsist off of McDonald's.

>Stomach on full full
Somehow this is more repulsive than anything else in that image.

White people don't engage in those memes, where do you see white women status signaling about being a good wife?

>off of

He's referring to the fact that she made noodles AND shells, idiot.

>Boiled

Is that confetti?

I think a millennial nigress wouldn't be able to figure out how to make fried chicken, so yes.
The fact that she even managed to boil, not one, but two different kinds of pasta and cover it in the thinnest "cheese" sauce I've ever seen is astounding to me.

pepper paste

>nigress
>decent spelling and grammar
guess again bud

bitch, even if that chicken WAS cooked, i wouldnt be full from that shit. any viking/norse man over 6 foot tall would beat your shit for making a child's meal like that. holy shit

is that a frog in sheeps clothing? haha!

>date girl for a few months
>she's nice and is smart enough to not work a highschooler's job
>i cook dinner for two at least once a week
>one day she tries to return the favor and i come home to find a plate of mushy canned carrots, watery "mac&cheese", and what looked to be a microwaved chicken thigh
>luke-warm blood is leaking from one of the chicken's many puncture marks (why?) onto the other components and the flesh is obviously pink on one side
>she gets angry and defensive when I refuse to eat raw chicken
>"i just wanted to do something nice i cook just fine fuck you my mom taught me how to cook you think you know everything"
>she cuts into the chicken to prove it's cooked and i have flashbacks to jack videos
>i ask her to try it, she throws it on the floor and then leaves
>i break up with her two days later
>tell her it's because she cannot and refuses to learn how to cook
>her friends and family harass me on facebook for months after
>i'm a sexist pig for expecting a woman to cook in 2015
>my boss at the time almost had me fired but i explained the situation
>he found it funny and now we're decent friends
>haven't seen her in at least a year
Everything went better than expected.

>Europeans are this dumb

Guys with office jobs don't need to eat that much.

Europeans would never dream of calling pasta "noodles", cretin.

>girl gets triggered by random bullshit
>get other people to harrass & to try to get your ex fired because he called you out on not knowing cooking basics at 16+

roasties everyone
roasties everyone

I know. It's a very believable story when you want to believe it, isn't it?

its plausible enough

heard a few similar stories from some unlucky friends of mine

most women are ok or amazing, there are some vindictive bitches out there tho

Come to think of it I don't know a single female who can cook decently with the exception of my grandma. I mean boomers bought in to the whole women working thing on top of instant dinners and eating out all the time. They never taught gen x to cook so of course millennials can't cook. Much easier for everyone just to be a consumer because being self sufficient and healthy is way too hard apparently.

Women are really defensive about their cooking ability, especially if they suck at it. They know they should be able to, and on some level they want to be a great cook and homemaker. But their mind is also poisoned with this idea that they're strong independent holes who don't need any skills and shouldn't be expected to do or learn anything.

This might not be a good place to post this, but I didn't think making a new thread would be appropriate for one question.

I have a gentleman I'll be cooking for soon. And I'm a decent cook, nothing special, but I understand that this shit is not acceptable. The problem is that he can't smell or taste very well. I can't dump MSG into the mix, either, because he's intolerant to it. Things like Accent make him physically ill.

I understand using spices apart from salt and pepper to give flavor, and I understand how you cook something is just as important as what you cook. But is there anything else I can do that would give the food more flavor? What do you guys do to make your food pop?

>They never taught gen x to cook so of course millennials can't cook
My mom could always cook, she used to work in a restaurant kitchen. I asked her to teach me how to cook at a young age, around 9 or 10. She outright refused and wouldn't allow me to even enter the kitchen while she was cooking after that. She proceeded to teach my sister how to bake and allowed her to help with family meals, though.
I eventually wound up teaching myself to cook but she got noticeably upset every time I did. I like to think I cook better now than she ever did, but it still bothers the fuck out of me.

...

This was my wife's first attempt at a baguette

Salt and acid, basically.

I'd focus on getting the texture right. That becomes more important for many people with damaged taste receptors.

it's more about sending a message that she's not a single mother

Don't skimp on the acid. Also heat can make up for lack of flavor in a lot of places. Asian dishes can work because soy sauce adds an umami punch in addition to saltiness. It has naturally occurring MSG though

bro... can i fuck your wife?

Thanks, anons, will definitely make note of.

What the fuck? Why? Did she want you to starve once you moved out or was she planning to keep you dependent and live with her until she became mummified and have you do her murderous bidding?

sure why not bro

This looks like most of what my mother served me as a kid

>What the fuck? Why?
Men don't cook.

I have almost no sense of smell and a reduced sense of taste and I quite like paprika and lime. I don't know if that's just me or if it can apply to him too.

Cooking is an invaluable skill. Everyone regardless of gender should be taught to cook. My mother’s taught me from a young age. I’m not a chef or anything but I can cook decent meals on the fly and follow a recipe. With the advent of YouTube there is little excuse for the food in that first pic. Cooking is so fun it makes me sad anyone has to eat food like that.

Anyone's first attempt at a baguette is going to be shit, the fact that she is getting into baking proper bread is a great sign.

It wasn't shit, it was fucking awesome. We had it with lentil soup

>The problem is that he can't smell or taste very well
Easy, focus on textures and looks.

DIVORCE HER (so I can marry her and teach her how to bake better)

That is impressive for a first try.

Wait, what? People cook chicken in boiling water? Who are those savages? In my country the only case when you do that is for soups

My grandfather is diabetic. My grandmother boils everything now...

Maybe get them a steam cooker? It's still not that good, but better than outright boiling it.

Is my wife trying to tell me something?

twitter.com/dreeyuhh/status/969610465838972928/photo/1

How does he manage to get his eggs to look so saturated in oil

Yeah get them a steam cooker or even a George Foreman type electric grill. How the fuck does boiling food help with diabetes anyway? I’m guessing they’re trying to avoid extra fat but I thought diabetics just needed to avoid extra sugars and carbs.

I was taught that "off of" is bad grammar. Have I been wrong about that all these years?
I need stuff like this to pedantically correct so I can feel better about myself, man.

Those aren't eggs you fucking retard

I had dinner at a white friends house once. I shit you not there was no seasoning on anything. Not even salt. I had to add cheese to my plate to make it taste better.

And everyone in her house was raving about how delicious dinner was and how she’s great at cooking.

...

>Falling for the black people can cook meme

I'll do it for certain kinds of pastas, or when I'm gonna coat the chicken is some sauce of some sort. Not just to flat out eat.

She's secretly Peruvian

...

by totally drowning them in oil and then cooking them violently for about 8 seconds because he thinks he's some kind of short order ninja

Rice and cookies go well together. The ketchup is really out of place though.

>miserable piece of overseasoned fish with dumb roasted tomatoes bundle of asparagus drowned in oil
wow looks good

by saturating them in oil

Really good, I'm an apprentice baker in Italy and I too have problems with rising of breads, its hard af

>I-it’s pesto on the fish, I like the roasted tomatoes.....

What pic of food do you have Gordon Ramsey?

It looks great user

>Seasoning so thick you could scoop it up with a spoon
>500 tomatoes
>Asparagus carelessly thrown around the plate, no presentation at all
You cook like my dad.
>MORE SPICES MEANS ITS BETTER RIGHT???

I thunk it's for the minced chicken that's mixed into the rice.

I am butt devestated

Well I try to cook at least I guess. Presentation is a fair argument. I don’t think more seasoning is better. Pls approve of my foods user

>at least my food doesn’t look like it was made in a homeless camp right guys?

The "2/10 pointy knees, would not bang" of Veeky Forums

Lmao

T-thanks user

Ok I was thinking they were just trying to rustle my jimmies

I think your dish looks exquisite.

Y-you too

...

Unless she’s a trap, file for divorce now

Why boil it then? The sauce IS boiling it. Brown it a little bit with some seasoning, then let it simmer in the sauce to cook the rest of the way through.

>American cooking

chocolate?

it is

That chicken looks like a pair of freshly waxed balls