The bastardization of a great dish

Hello anons! Let's have a nice and cozy Sunday evening cook-along
I'm not even going to try and say what this dish is based on out of fear, the people who came up with the original are very proud of it (and they should be)
without further ado, let's list most of what we're working with

Step 1:
fit the ingredients on your cutting board for a picture
bonus: you will forget some of them

- chorizo (or any spicy sausage if possible)
- red bell pepper
- red pepper (the hot ones)
- onion
- garlic
- carrot
- rice
- shrimps
- turmeric, salt, pepper

because the stuff is still cooking, let's pretend like we're still prepping

joking aside, for this thing it's actually handy to have the peppers, carrot, and chorizo already prepared because they should go in at about the same time

bell pepper piece size is up to you, you can also julienne it if you fancy and have the patience (last time I did and it worked out fine)

also
>Patti I love you I'm still waiting hit me up

I'm just having a bolognese to use up everything left in my refrigerator with some hot sauce and maybe a little chilli. Wish I had some garlic bread to go along with it.

what dish is this

m8 at least u have hot sauce reserves to rely on
I understand dem too-lazy-to-do-groceries feels

continooing
the most standard and yet still easy to fuck up part in just about any dish in yuroop:
sweatn' garlic and onions that you've hopefully diced better than I did because there's always that one bit that you missed but who gives

should take about 3 minutes to get them nice and soft

>this will be a slow bump until I'm done with the thing so we're not in any hurry

stick around and you will see :3

monitoring.

just... please dont break out the ramen, user.

Opting for ramen route for the (You)s

Step 3 (?)
throw in the carrots (thin halves), red bell pepper and red (hot) pepper, mix 'em around
add turmeric, and there's really no wrong amount, but for me it's usually difficult to put too much; either way, what I do is almost cover the thing like you might be able to see in pic related
oh and the chorizo goes in too, if you have it

fry this for 5 minutes, tossing it around; the point is to break down dem veggies get them nice and soft and start melting those tasty fats in the sausage
it's all about (((mixing)))

as disappointing as this is, it won't have ramen in it I'm afraid

It's a europoor attempt at 'Murrican style Spanish Rice.

>Murrican style Spanish Rice
user I...

Step 4 is where the fun begins
hopefully you also have some """broth""" but really salted water with spices is just as fine; just know how much salt you want in it, even though you will surely taste along the way and adjust
I went the pleb route with some knorr cubes in water; you'll need about 500-700 ml depending on how much rice you put in, how much moisture, all kinds of shit; I had 200g of rice and used about 500ml
you will _not_ use it all at once

so throw some tomato paste, a bit of that liquid stuff, mix it around and then you throw in the rice
then add enough liquid to have everything nicely submerged like so
and then you wait and monitor, adding a bit at a time
this all happens on super low heat, just enough to hear it bubbling under the lid that you hopefully have for the pan

it doesn't look great now but the rice will absorb all dem juices in there and become super rich, so rich that it'll literally turn gold

Paella with chorizo REEEEEEEEEEE

this is gonna be some shitty paella

>chorizo
No thanks.

Are the shit ton of carrots supposed to take the place of saffron?

I-I did not for even one second say that this is pae*** s-so

kind of sort of but I added a bit more than I should've this time, that much I'll admit to

I feel bullied desu

you've invented something new: carrots and rice.

post the finished product damnit

nah I'm kinda bummed out now
guess I'll wait til Patti comes back to post my shitty cook alongs in his threads, didn't expect Veeky Forums would get to a point where cook alongs upset people
there's even another thread where a bro is prepping his meals and getting shit on for no reason
god forbid some sipboi / fast food thread might be bumped off

>didn't expect Veeky Forums would get to a point where cook alongs upset people
Jesus... get a backbone you fucking newfag.
No one was even picking on you, but...
how the fuck do you think carrots are a replacement for saffron? Do you think they taste similar? lol

listen breh, getting shit on is part of the fun. i wanna see what you made.

thought this was gonna be a stuffed capsicum at first

thats a lot of damn carrots

...

>capsicum
really

presentation's a little dorky, but otherwise looks good. but srsly dude
>carrots

That actually looks pretty good.
Except the carrots.
Why so many damn carrots?

I am also curious.

Is it just a personal preference? Like... Do you just like carrots a lot?

there's not even any presentation tho
and my phone's camera is shit; pictures during the day turn out better usually; whenever I want to go for a better presentation I plate it and then use an actual camera
didn't want to have left-over unused carrot, a bit of overestimation, and last time it worked out well because it's not too crunchy and not too soft of a dish with it
I never thought this would turn into The Mystery of the Carrot, I barely if ever use them

I guess this is now a carrot thread...?
>post carrots
full frontal

oh bby ye gimme dem carrot stubs
can't even shave with all deez carrots on me hot damn anons

Doesn't look half bad for a "paella". Would look a lot better if you used whole shrimps though.

>I never thought this would turn into The Mystery of the Carrot
It's just so damn much, most people use them more sparingly

The fuck? Veeky Forums cookalongs have always been shit flinging fests, and that's the best part of it.

indeed. had them last time, this time i didn't find the nice ones

but really
for me it's the carrot, the best root vegetable

then somehow I've usually been in nice and comfy ones but w/e
we're posting carrots now

fun fact: did you know that carrots weren't even orange way back when?

pretty sure it's paella

noooooitsnotbecauseithaschorizoandcarrotsitdoesntevenhaverabbitorwaterfromvalenciansewersreeeeeeeeeeeee

Fucking hell, nobody attacked you in this thread. Just post your mess and be done with it.

I don't tolerate carrot bullying

When?

nigga I said way back
but, allegedly, in the 1600s or so when the Dutch were kangz, they had a dude called william of orange (van oranje was/is a big deal family in NL) and word is that they got carrots to be orange for the guy
dunno how related, if at all, that is to the flag
but anyway, they managed to make 'em orange by mixing red-ish with yellow ones (I think the process is called hybridization, some monk dude came up with it long time ago, Mendel something but I don't remember my biology very well)

I want user's full Carrots and Rice recipe.

No comment on OP's dish but here's what I've been making today, pork loin chili...dried arbol, new mexico, ancho chiles rehydrated in homemade chicken stock, pureed smooth then cooked along with other veg and browned pork loin, pinto beans cooked separate and added later, topped with green onion, cilantro and crema. Delicious

pls accept this rare suspicious patti for your efforts :)

Wats in the glass?

...

>my shitty thread is still alive
goddammit

Thank you kind sir

Good looking chilli user. The glass jar kinda kills it for me tho

You could figure it out from muh various posts
Just make sure you use one very LARGE carrot, everything else is optional really
And some chorizo for extra buttmad cu/ck/s. You don't even need to use it if you don't like it, just casually bring it up

>Just make sure you use one very LARGE carrot
Oh that's nothing, I once put de-seeded scotch bonnets in my beef bourguignon and people here lost their shit. Was a fun time.

NOOOOOHOWCOULDYOUYOUPLEBSMFHREEEEEEEE

Look mate.
You dont' fucking make sushi with cooked fish and brown rice do you.
This is somewhat the same.

It looks pretty good except for all the diabetes, OP. Sorry but I can't eat rice without dying so thanks a lot for reminding me of what I can never have again.

>rice
>diabetus
wut? how does that work user?

so basically my carrot and rice dish should have less carrot and no rice
I like where this is going desu

>not using superior brown rice in sushi
Jiro would be disappoint

fuck your cook along and patti is a stupid bitch

Go back to Hot Topic you absolute child.

rate my bastardized paella bros...

this was creepy more because it looks awfully similar and you have similar plates
user don't scare me pls even the tissue under it seems to be like mine
liking dat sausage in there tho

>needs more carrot n u no eat
all this considered, looks to be a solid 7/10 bastard pælla user
just get rid of the bread, replace it with some nice fat juicy orange carrot, and we gucci mayne

ha ha! I'm actually 35, loser

>get rid of the bread, replace it with some nice fat juicy orange carrot, and we gucci mayne

t. guiri

Why do poorfags need to eat bread with absolutely fucking everything?

I would postulate that the user to which you replieth was quicker having a go at thy state of mental adulthood rather than how ripened thine figure is

>guiri
>name used in Spain applied to foreign tourists, particularly from countries in northern Europe or the Anglo-Saxon sphere
learned something new
doesn't apply tho
not even by a 2000km south-east-bound shot
I originally hail from a land merely 5 degrees worth of latitude up to the north user