Al/ck/ alcoholics

...you want me to taper from 2 pints of 4.5%? Lol no. I'd had 16 days clean and just had some meme cider in a desperate attempt to sleep.

>go a month without booze
>forget to refill prescriptions
>pharmacy closed
>get drunk instead
>feel The Fear for the first time in a month

It's pretty amazing how predictably unhappy liquor makes me the next day and how dependent I am on my medications to not feel like I want to die

kindling is a bitch

kind of more of a don't open the one thread in forty that you don't want to read general

Opinions on self medicating xanax to lessen withdrawal?

I was thinking 1mg 3x times a day for 3 days and .5mg 3x times a day for the next 3 days
I don't think this is enough to get me addicted to benzos, right?

i hate to be that guy but
i meann
that's not a lot my dude

that's my point.

Almost a week clean

Barely slept the first 4 days, couldn't eat that much, diarrhea a couple of times a day, irritable as fuck. First two days I could barely get out of bed.

Weird how much more productive I am even after a week. Starting reading again, walked my dog, made some pretty good dinner. It was tough over the weekend though. It's sorta boring, but I'm enjoying getting back into reading.

Iktf man. I'm not to that level, but one good drunk and i'll wake up with the fear. Wish I just threw up and feel better, but nope am alcohol

drunk as fuck and enjoying every mintue
who else?

reminds me when i was a kid and my parents would take me to the halloween store. That rush that would fill you when you'd smell the rubber masks, the vapor smoke, and all the badass costumes in the stores. Maybe there'd be a qt3.14 from middle school and you'd chat her up when both of your parents were away. On the way back with costume and paint in hand it would be Cheap Trick the whole way

>That rush
Yeah nah, the novelty wears off.

is anybody else a good writer? Im at emory (fairly good college) and ive got a 3.8 from drinking and writing.

why do the best writers have drinking problems?

drink on an empty stomach, play good music
always

same reason good musicians have crippling drug problems.

they don't, you just are an alcoholic so you seek out what you know.

i mean i am too, but not all good writers were drunks. I love hemingway and thompson etc, but their personal lives were shit

ive been north ive been east
to the california beach
and theres only one way i know how to nfind you

ps:captcha discriminatyes against alcoholics

is that a haiku
whats your favorite drinking song???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

people who say you cant get drunk off light beer have never really tried

still wish i had some 80 proof though
beer is like coke, liqour is like crack

youtube.com/watch?v=IBLruNfUqUs

>have never really tried
wat
dude after 10 pints it's just too bloating and uncomfortable. A few shots of vodka that far in though and things are instantly ten times more comfy. it's literally impossible to put away enough to get properly smashed.

valerie amy whinehouse and its not even close

we'll see about that

alot more peeing though that for damn sure

I was just stating my drinking song for the next couple weeks.
I wasn't part of the postchain

yeah, it just leaves me feeling kinda, lethargic, bloated and tipsy. plus it's a nightmare drinking enough water because you're already overflowing with fluids.

I'm an alcoholic and I literally just visited this board on impulse for the first time in years. Didn't know this topic was permitted here.

Anyway:
>the fear
What the fuck that's exactly what I call it

I hate myself

no, I mean, you got gnomed because you quit cold turkey before and you are experiencing the kindling effects

We could use an extra thread in the catalogue, guys. Try a more appropriate board

Oh gotya. Yeah, years of stopping/starting/withdrawing/CT/tapering and all the rest fucked me. I should have just never tried stopping at all until I was certain that I could.

things i hate:
you

welcome back

What’s “the fear”? Been drinking for over ten years so I assume I’ve had it but I’ve never heard of it

Yeah we'll definitely be doing that straight away.

oh good i was just going to make one about the grand big mac, hope it fits now
i also had a question about the taco bell fries

You'd know. A totally irrational but absolutely unshakeable, horrifyingly intense fear of everything and nothing. All of your worst conceivable fears are suddenly real/imminent.

don't know? haven't had it
everyone else will say the same
you don't fucking know if you don't know

>taco bell fries
theyre great when drunk
especially with some nacho sauce and a couple of doritos locos

Did someone just use my word.
That's flattering

so you mean the 'what the fuck did i do last night' hangover

No, I'm talking about a constant fear, an all-encompassing terror. It's not just in your mind, you can feel it in every cell of your tense, sweating, heart-pounding body as well. Every terrifying thing you can imagine seems terrifyingly real - your family is about to die, you're about to go to prison, you're going to be fired and be homeless, everyone hates you, you have cancer, monsters are real and are about to make you rim them - every awful thing, your own, personal hell - whatever is most horrifying to you personally, suddenly feels like it's inescapably imminent and worse than you could ever have imagined. There's absolutely no escape other than fuckhuge doses of benzos or another sesh on the bottle. At which point you feel absolutely fine again. You can immediately escape and feel awesome, just by relapsing. It's a proper fucking nightmare trying to get through that exit barrier. The fear is absolutely inescapable even if you do manage to realise that it's irrational.

almost a day sober. want to drink, but not having drank yet is the only thing i presently feel good about, so i'm gonna continue to not drink.

It's more than that. It's not rational. It's hard to describe. It's like feeling electric.

I remember once I was looking at my hands and i had a panic attack because I didn't recognize every single crease in my hand. A fly could go by your head and you would jerk your entire body. You can't sit still, but you don't want to move either.

Just imagine being on the edge of a panic attack going "fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck", tipping over into panic attack, and then back to the precipice for hours on end and knowing that slamming back a few beers or shots could keep that feeling at bay.

That's the fear. Like they said. You'd know.

hahahaha holy shit i wrote
man we have definitely had the fear. almost the same damn description. cheers m8

the whole gnomebro thing is kinda interesting tbdesu

just karma for all the relaxation you got from the alc

listening to hold me now
looking at old facebook posts
bout my kms

i like it as a verb

gnoming: when you fuck yourself from multiple bouts of WD, not tapering well enough or just straight up getting the DT's.

Hey come join me on the IRC then, plenty of good folk here to.
Good bunch
I cannot tell if it is flattering anymore but cool

not meant as an insult by any means, I just think it sums it up well

You just described it perfectly. Well said.
>t. first time here in a while guy

Just poured another glass of scotch frens. Have to be at work in 7 hours

I thought the irc was dead, last I heard was some hoe made it invite-only

same to

cheers mate, I'm pouring vodka mixed with clean water and ice because now I'm more health conscious

I guess it does man
I like it

What?
I have no idea how to find a link right now I am trippin shit and drunk but hey.
>mibbit.c om
>select rizon-chat on the top bar
>channel is #al/ck/

If it is restricted that sucks
But that is how you join that I know.

Just don't. Get real help. And before you go benzo smoke your brains out with weed.

I literally can't stop drinking because I work often and if I stop I'll start shaking and sweating. I'm fucking terrified.

thanks man, hope your night is going well.

Have any vacation days to dry out? I've been in that situation and it's terrible.

If you don't and you're honest about quitting the best option is tapering. There was one user on here that had a really good tapering calendar he made. If he's here maybe he'll post it.

If not
>hams.cc/taper/

Drinking after 5 months of sobriety. Feel good now, when should I expect the fun to STAHP

For me my internal thoughts are like 'oh no oh no oh no please god no, no no no, I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry please god"
While I keep on thinking that people are following me and coming to kill me or abduct me
This is while my heart is pounding and I can't sit still. I get this strange sensation in my mouth and extremeties tingle

Tomorrow morning, when you wake up and realise what you've done. I normally wake, expect to feel ok, then my eyes pop open wide with fear and i say "OH NO, FUCK NO, PLEASE NO" as soon as I realise I'm back on the ride.

I know this feel

This might be extreme mental gymnastics, but I feel like I would drink way less of I didn't work. Being worried about being in withdrawal at work is what often leads me to drink. It's an endless cycle

wow that was rude man

probably tomorrow

yea i get some wacky shit. I remember when i would get it bad I would get this real light feeling; like i was weightless and just going to die right there because my heart was beating so hard/fast.

I'd get that tingling shit too, especially when I'd start to sweat.

I'm clean for almost a week now. Trying to keep this going. I have a gf, doggo and family. Can't keep doing this

Don't stop, taper till you can moderate.

Sweating and shaking is not good for work.

It's called anxiety attack.

I personally like to describe it as pure and unfiltered reality setting in.

t. haver of anxiety attacks on weed lasting up to 30 minutes

I don't get it, your point is that you drank a few beers and now don't like alcohol?

Yeah I forgot to mention being drenched in sweat

>anxiety attack.
It lasts up to 2 weeks, 24 hours a day. It's not an anxiety attack. I have anxiety attacks while experiencing the fear but they're not the same thing.

Sorry man I am trashed
What was rude?

4.6 units was enough that I'd experience withdrawal the next day, such is the extent of the neurological kindling I've suffered.

I remember once I was coming off of a 4 day bender and was WDing and someone told me weed would help. I was new to my alcoholism and didn't know exactly what was going on with me but I knew that if I hit it hard for a few days I could barely function when I decided to clean up.

Anyways, took that shitty advice, smoked the weed, got stupid high and had the worst WD/panic attacks of my entire life. Pretty similar to what you were talking about. Just full on panic for hours and hours.

also
is correct. it's deeper and last longer. Panic attacks are part of it, but the fear. the finger lingers.

After about a month you'll be feeling the effects and will have substantially upped your consumptions, but you'll still find alcohol entertaining. Three months and you're back to where you were. That's approximately how it is for me.

the "get lost" part
don't worry man I'm not a fag I'm just more comfy here in the thread, having IRC running too makes me have to put attention to two things simultaneously

Hey its cool man I understand
thread is always comfy

Was doing really great, feeling good after a few days sober and just loving life/getting shit done/not living with constant shame. Bought liquor, feeling bad, drinking more to not feel so bad. I just feel so disappointed to be me sometimes.

Smoke high CBD strains. You won't get panic attacks anymore.

Illegal here.

Can't choose what I buy ;_;

You can buy high CBD flowers and oils online. Legal in every state.

Different country - not state.

t. Eurodesu

Who /nervedamage/ here?

I'm losing feeling in my feet and hands

bases of my feet, hips re sciatic nerve area. thighs were aching tonight on the muscle down to the knee cap.

Not that guy but CBD probably is legal where you are. It was recently made legal even in the united kingderp, which has among the most demented babby laws on earth when it comes to drugs.

Two weeks sober and counting. Wish me luck, fellas!

>google kindling

Holy fucking shit I did not know this was a thing. I'm not nearly as progressed in the disease as others - I've only ever had 2 serious benders, 1 was almost 2 weeks and the second (which just happened) was 10 days. Withdrawal for several days but then I'm fine and I can go back to drinking lightly without any reprecussions.

But holy shit dude that legitimately terrifies me. How many times do you have to go through withdrawal to start getting this effect? How frequently?

weird. this time it was suppposed to be fun

lol!

>now I can carry bags full of sand without crying or peeing myself a little
>drinking only a half a pint thrice a week

you better get Veeky Forums asap bros, we are going to make it

I miss her, lads

jesus, dont let a woman be the reason youre a sloppy drunk

Thanks. Will check it out.

he misses her for the same reason he is a sloppy drunk
get your causality relationships checked