Eating anything less than 99% cacao

>eating anything less than 99% cacao
its time to grow up user

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the only thing more delicious than chocolate that's actually good is tricking morons into eating dirt by putting gold letters on it and calling it something pretentious like absolu noir

That's just the french translation which you find on even not pretentious products my amigo like Strawberries, etc.

I can only imagine what kind of soyboy pays for this disgusting mess just to be a snowflake

>soyboys paying for dark chocolate

I would think soyboys would be unable to handle the bitterness, user.

Just tried dark chocolate PB cups for the first time.

Actually better than milk. I'm fucking surprised how well it works.

true, bad example, but my point stands I think

>eating anything else other than 100% pure grounded cocoa beans

Time to go over the age of 14, son.

I cant do anything over 85% and I love dark chocolate.

Imagine being so insecure that you eat dark chocolate to convince yourself you're cool.

I cannot find any at the grocery store I frequent, and I cannot be arsed to visit an entirely different store just to get chocolate. Any benefits from it I can get from other sources.
Soyboys and hipsters are the majority consumers of IPAs, so it stands to reason.

>Not eating the beans whole, feeling every bitter crunch between your gnashing teeth
Puberty is waiting for you, user

>not just eating actual cocoa powder
Found the 12 year old.

i sometimes pit cocoa powder in milk and drink it w/out sugar, LOCK ME UP.

>there are people itt RIGHT NOW who don't like dark chocolate
lmaoing @ ur life t.bh

You obviously don't love it enough. Start training for the big league.

Proper chocolate: milk chocolate
Proper cacao: cacao nibs
Neither of these: dark chocolate

It's called a keto diet, pleb.

99% tastes like dirt, however, 85% is great.

If dirt tasted that way, I would eat our entire planet's entire crust.

75-85% is the optimal range of cocoa concentration in chocolate. Less than that and the cocoa flavor becomes too dilute. More than 85% is only eaten straight by hipsters and neckbeards who try to appear sophisticated and "adult" for liking under-sweetened chocolate.

Furthermore, if the chocolate does not state the cultivar and origin of the cocoa beans, is a blend of many different types of cocoa bean, is roasted dark or contains vanilla or - may God forgive me for uttering this word - milk powder, it is automatically dog shit and you have zero credibility if you enjoy such a product.

I don't like the taste of it. I only eat it for health benefits. I'm sure some people like it but how can so many pretend to like it and then be pretentious about it.?

I prefer my beans free-range, not cooped up in their room

no it doesn't

bitter foods are naturally unpleasant to humans. stop pretending to be le cultured or le sophisticated

t. obese American who only eats sweet things because yummy yummy in my tummy mmmmm

obsessed...

I only eat 0%.

>swiss company using french is pretentious

holy fuck amerimutts are actually retarded

You don't determine what other people eat and what not.

>eating chocolate bars
It’s time to grow up, fatty.

White chocolate is not actually chocolate.

Pathetic, I've not eaten confectionery of any sort since June. My memory is like lightning. I miss gingerbread more than words

Stop this meme. If it's called chocolate, it's chocolate

You know what else gets called chocolate?

I gave some of that to an obese black woman where i work and she started gagging and ran to a trash can to spit it out. It was too funny. She was wretching and had all of this chocolate spit foam all over her mouth

>Tjmaxx buys this crap
>Goes through the good bars in a week
>After a month all thats left is this and the chili pepper flavor
>They go on sale for $.75 a bar and I buy them out, restarting the cycle
Dont even eat the 99% bars, they taste like ass

>I cannot find any at the grocery store I frequent
They sell it at fucking giant and even my local wal mart. Go to the actual candy aisle, not the checkout where the only put cheap garbage kids will beg for and their parents will give into as to not hold up the line.

>Not eating the cocoa pods directly from the tree, enjoying chocolate at its purest and most natural.
You will learn to walk soon, user

Makes no sense, soyboys are effeminate but dark chocolate is manly, its the only chocolate thats actually good for you and also acts as an aphrodisiac

Dark chocolate

>"you eat x a certain way just to seem cool!"
Just an excuse for people with weaker pallets to feel better about themselves. Drinking your coffee black and being able to taste it is also superior to drinking caffeinated sugar and milk water, but children always get super triggered over that too.

86% MASTER RACE REPORTING IN.

>hipsters and neckbeards who try to appear sophisticated and "adult"
>is a blend of many different types of cocoa bean, is roasted dark or contains vanilla or - may God forgive me for uttering this word - milk powder

I go through the aisle with the chocolate bars, bags, and balls faggot. It could very easily be in the baking section, knowing the twats in charge of determining sections.

>not eating the tree
heh

It’s made from cocoa butter so you’d have to be pretty autistic to say it’s not chocolate

A cultivated appreciation for that which does not simply cater to base animal instinct is the literal definition of high culture and sophistication.

>Not eating the dirt around the area, taking in the nutrients that would make the cocoa tree
You ain't gonna make it

>not eating the animal shit that would break down into the nutrients that would pass onto the cocoa tree

You will be out of diapers soon, buddy

where u buy this user?

I eat 75%. Is that good enough?

A website, iherb . com

It's great because you can order all kinds of shit basically anywhere with free shipping if you order enough, and if you find a product you like they give a discount on ordering 3 or more at once. I'm living in Japan so it's rad as hell to be able to get shit like this so easily.

I know I'm shilling too hard right now, but fuck it : use KAD4214 for a extra 5% off.

actually his does, because plenty of burgers are gonna purchase it because it looks pretentious and shiny with no knowledge that it's a swiss company not that french is spoken there.

>not eating the seed so that a cocoa tree can grow inside of you and can feel the cocoa absorbing your life energy
sure

their 90% is much better. 99% you might as well start chewing raw cocoa nibs

>not eating the seed and then killing yourself so that you get buried with the cocoa seed inside of you so that your bodies nutrients eventually become the cocoa itself

lmaoing @ your life

I should have discover Veeky Forums sooner. This place is 6x funnier then/v/ and Veeky Forums

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Holy shit what a fag.

Best parts of Switzerland speak German.

My wife's boyfriend?

For me, it's unsweetened baker's chocolate.