/keto/ thread

That omelette looks terrible. Seriously? A ten-minute omelette? I dunno, there's a lot of really good classic recipes out there that have no carbs. A lot of these seem like those weird ass vegan substitute recipes. I hadn't really thought about how well I eat until looking at this stuff. Fuck. Maybe some day I'll turn into a fag and start taking photos of the shit I make.

Semen has great macros for keto, but it is only 1 calorie per average ejaculation.

Yeah, the omelette recipe in my case is more of a template for fillings than anything having to do with actually cooking it.

But goys, how will you eat the bagels?

You should buy a few cartons of eggs and teach yourself how to make a French omelette. They're fucking great. One of the best dishes ever invented. It changes everything about how you think about eggs.

The goyim are unclean, mensch.

>fatfag is assmad he cant give up his precious bread

It’s in everything Faggot, it’s not my fault that’s how food is
Plus carbs are good for energy so if i ever join a gym i will be ready to go

>Keto fag is butt-blasted that he can't eat bread and must suck off dudes from Veeky Forums for sustenance

>carbs are in everything!
Not really. You'd be shocked to find out just how little you can cut out of your diet to get down to 20g carbs. Most people actually do 40g carbs.
>Plus carbs are good for energy so if i ever join a gym i will be ready to go
So is fat once your body goes into ketosis. There's also a thing called the Targeted Ketogenic Diet which allows you to take in more carbs on days you are working out.
Despite what you've been led to believe, you cannot get gains from semen. Nor does semen have enough calories for what little nutrition is supplies to be remotely beneficial to add to your diet.

>Perfectly capable of making low carb bread
Sorry fatfag, you can’t win this one ;)

>low carb bread
Do you prep your wife's bull too?

At least he has a significant other in his life.

Had a great workout today and had a bunch to eat for dinner. Feeling good even though I cheated the other day.

I feel like all the recipes are just meat with some heavy cheese and a green vegetable. Gonna go with cream cheese and spinach in rolled chicken. Baked in oven is pretty nice.

For me, it's the Big Mac®. The Best in Keto Nutrition.

Meat and cheeses do play a part in keto recipes, but never forget that you can also get nuts and berries.

Lazy keto here. Mostly been just eating lots of eggs, beef, bacon, cheese, and broccoli. Made some coconut flour waffles today but they really tasted like French toast with all that egg.

After being in keto off and on since back when it like a few threads on Veeky Forums and a couple blogs, I can say its not worth making those elaborate carb replacement shits.

Just get used to not needing to eat something breadlike, it gets easier and all that activated almond flour recipe shit tastes like hot ass, wastes a lot of time, and costs overpriced ingredients. Same goes for those elaborate desserts. Find a sweetener you like, buy some blackberries and raspberries and mix it with some sort of cream or cottage cheese. Or buy bar of 90% dark chocolate and limit yourself to only a couple pieces now and then (not hard when its that strong)

If you shop only on the outside of the store and avoid the isles, no one would be fat in this county.Hell we wouldn't even need keto if people just avoided center isle garbage.

I know, but usually don't eat those things regularly. I do use them on a day when I switch to pea protein to make a decent shake. I have to say I find vanilla cashew milk satisfying, though. It sits nice in my stomach and goes well with breakfast.

I'm trying to decide what to make today. I have some salad stuff that needs to get used up, but I'm more in the mood for a gigantic omelet and bacon. I also thawed out a slab of salmon last night, and have a bunch of cauliflower that also needs to be used up. . . .

It's annoying, I only eat one meal a day now and so even buying in moderate quantities, the food sits in the fridge and goes bad. I'm trying to decide whether to eat around the mold on two avocados or just throw them out. That was five bucks wasted.

This is Veeky Forums, sage goes in all holes.

As much as you want! I recommend getting a dog, they pump out a lot and they really enjoy it.

>the food sits in the fridge and goes bad.
Jesus christ, I know this feel. I try to buy in bulk and just freeze or store what I don't use so I can make it again another day. I end up still making way more than I need, and if I'm not careful it goes bad.

It can be hard for a lot of people. I’ve found that almond flour is actually pretty decent at mimicking. Everyone’s diet is different though. I will agree that blackberries and yogurt/cream is godly though

i was thinking of buying an icecream machine and just put mixed fruit plus milk in it.

anyone know if this works?

have you read about carbloading?
i am still trying to find out if its healthy/useful for training
that would be like 1 carb meal a week.

>ketofag is so retarded he thinks anyone who doesn't follow meme diets is fat

i know that weston price diet and keto are similar. but does he have an opinion that stuff like beans can be eaten?
i seem to remember he doesnt actually care about carbs themselves.
or white rice for that matter. maybe you can ferment it or something.

It's funny how little volume of food you eat on keto. Also, since you tend to only eat fresh foods, you have to change your shopping habits a little. Luckily, I only live about 5 blocks from a grocery store. I like to walk over there twice a week first thing in the morning. It's nice to get some exercise and you can't beat the fully stocked produce section and lack of annoying customers early in the morning.

I still venture into the center aisles for olive oil, coffee, spices, and anchovies. True though, the middle is mostly where all the junk food lives. Freezer aisles are usually around the perimeter. This is where some of the worst garbage is stored.

>he feels the need to insult keto because he’s too insecure to admit he needs a diet

Is keto the gayest diet I can get on? What will allow me to suck off more dudes from Veeky Forums optimally?

>no argument
Typical fatfag

Nuts are super high in calories, don't do what I did and binge on them because they are approved for keto.

>butt-flustered ketofag shilling his fad diet. Has 0 gains and can’t even compete. Is literally in worse shape than boogie.

I tend to limit myself to around 56 grams of almonds or 38 grams of macadamia nuts, or 40 grams of peanuts.
>0 gains meme
I bet you fast.

Veeky Forums is a board for people who love food, fuck off back to Veeky Forums with your fag diets and eating disorders

The thread is literally about recipes you fucking autist.

I’m enjoying a Big Mac right now

Come to think of it, wouldn't sugar-free ice cream be pretty keto? Just eggs, cream and fruits? Might be good.

you need to put eggs in your icecream mix?

Classic custard style ice cream uses egg yolks.

frozen fruit, milk, blender. you have yourself a smoothie

i want ice though

I used to do this. I was a d1 athlete and my trainer put me on it. I would eat nothing but meats and veggies all week and then Sunday night before Monday lift I would go to like Wendy's or similar and get 2 burgers, nuggets, fries, soda, frosty, and maybe stop somewhere on my way home. I would show up to lift and be 10 pounds less than the week before and all my lifts would increase. keep in mind I was lifting 4 days a week and 2-3 hour practices every day. if you're not doing intense training it's useless.

add ice

I hate that I laugh at the "for me its the X, the best y" shitposts.

You actually can have a big mac on keto. No buns, extra sauce, extra lettuce, and extra cheese if you want.

>on a diet
>still calls others fat
Ketards everybody

To be fair, there are people on keto who really shouldn't be.

I have this type of ice cream machine. It works great with coconut milk (aroy-d canned full fat, not the milk-alternative coconut or almond milks that are sold in cartons). I tried it with dairy + eggs once, but the raw egg smell was disgusting so I never tried it again.

Hold your nose then, you big baby.

My keto recipe is getting fucked in the ass repeatedly. No carbs involved.

My keto habits:

> Make my own mayonnaise out of healthy fats and put it on everything. E.g. egg salad with collard greens in it, yummy.

> Make smoothies out of: avocado, leafy greens, protein powder, chia seeds, berries, etc. Sweeten with stevia and/or erythritol.

> For a complete vegetarian protein, mix pea protein powder with rice protein powder.

> Coconut cream in tea.

> Frozen blueberries sprinkled with lemon juice and cherry vodka.

> Romaine lettuce in front of the tv straight off of the head.

> Pats of salted butter as a snack.

> Rotisserie chicken from the supermarket delicatessan.

That sounds awful. How about a Sausage burrito from McDonald’s instead?

A reminder to look into c8 MCT oil. Readily available energy and perfect for keto.
>> Make smoothies out of: avocado, leafy greens, protein powder, chia seeds, berries, etc. Sweeten with stevia and/or erythritol.
I really need to start doing this. Been looking for a good blender for a while now. Always wanted to make smoothies.

>Sweet potato hummus 30carbs per 100g
> Baba-ganoush 7carbs per 100g
>Steak
>Chicken in every possible way
>Fish and Seafood
>Leaf
>crucible veggies
>BACON

KETO
ACIDOSIS

>what is a far more severe diabetic condition resulting from dangerously high levels of ketones your body being unable to produce enough insulin
You will never reach that on a ketogenic diet.

>>ketones DUE TO your body**

literally 2 different things

HIV leads to AIDS

A ketogenic diet does not lead to ketoacidosis. Your reactionary "logic" is pitiful.

This kills the ketotard

Bread actually has few enough carbs that you can keep under 40g a day. Hell, you could even keep under 20g a day. Could always just use fathead dough too if you want to reduce the carb count even further. Keep trying though, I'm sure you'll find something.

This bread has 4g of carbs per slice. Expensive though. If I were still into bread I'd figure a way to make it myself.

dimpflmeierbakery.com/holy-grail-bread-release-new-revolutionary-carb-smart-bread/

Yeah but that's got to taste like shit

CARBOHARDRAPES

Keto isn't about vilifying carbs. It's about switching over to fat and protein to feel fuller longer.

lift moar
eat moar carbs
enjoy EVERYTHING

I know this man who was on keto for years and now has kidney stones. Doctor said it was from the keto and told him to stop

I lift on TKD, mate. Tempted to switch over to MCT oil instead though.

It was from not drinking enough water, actually. Keto can cause kidney stones if you do not drink enough water. Calling bullshit on the doctor saying anything about keto specifically. More like something general about his diet.

I thought keto was about Veeky Forums hot man-on-man sex?

You're thinking about fasting to achieve the trap bod.

>has to count his carb intake
What a tiny girly man. Bro, do you even lift?

I knew a guy that ate bread for years. He died :(

I do, and I've never felt stronger or better. Switched to a Targeted Ketogenic Diet, to cut bodyfat and allow myself to train harder. Speaking of lifting, do you even count your protein intake? Calories? How do you know you're hitting what you need?

Can confirm, I got heptatitis c from consumming too much bread

I ate meat once. I'm dead now

Taste is okay, but texture is like dry stale bread, which you don't really notice if you make a french toast or pan toast it with generous butter or oil. In an unintended way, this not-quite-bread product would make it easier to transition off bread, like patches to a smoker, giving you your bread hit, but far enough away from the real thing as to not reinforce the habit while you try to shake it off.

How much goddamn water do you have to drink then? I can barely force down the recommended 6 cups or so, and I'm not on keto. Can't imagine having to do this finicky fucking diet

The average adult male normally needs around 3 litres of water a day, so you're about where you need to be provided the cups are 500mlish. On keto it is only increased a little bit. 5 litres is about normal.

Water is good for you. Helps suppress hunger too.
>inb4 "water poisoning!" which comes from like two gallons in an hour

He didn't say keto I guess but he did say it was because he was eating so much meat and fat and told him to stop and eat a more balanced diet. Not sure what the difference is then. He may as well have said keto caused it

Well keto isn't just meat. Your friend was doing it wrong if that was all he was eating. If you're doing it right, you won't be eating any more meat than you would on any other diet. Nuts, eggs, and cheese are good alternatives to get protein and fat. You're supposed to get vegetables too.

In fact, true keto is minimal meat

Roughly a pound of most lean meats gives the necessary daily protein amount. That's not exactly "minimal", but it's goddamned tasty. Cut that down a little to allow for whatever protein is in the vegetables you eat.

There are four different types of kidney stones, and it depends entirely on the person's genetics as to which type(s) the person is susceptible to.

I had a couple of kidney stones just *before* I went on keto, and I haven't had any since.

True keto is consumming vast quantities of semen

There is literally no way to get enough semen for that to be a viable diet.

Challenge accepted.