How do I grow my own pickles, Veeky Forums?

How do I grow my own pickles, Veeky Forums?

>reddit gherkins
fuck off

gherkins are shit though and pickles are delicious

just take the seeds out of any ol pickle and plant them. is this a serious question?

where can I find professional pickle seeds?

You put cucumbers in a brine solution for a couple of days

Inside a professional pickle, dum dum.

its all about genetics with the pickle seeds. if you start with seeds from a cheap pickle youll never grow professional pickes. splurge on the fancy stuff. trust me, its worth it.

You need to make the soil nice and tart. The ideal environment is underneath a lemon tree. I'm a professional horticulturalist.

Jam one up ur mum's cunt and youll get a jar in 9 months

As another pro horticulturalist, I'd like to add a workaround if you don't have a lemon tree - you can piss on the spot where you planted your pickle seed! That's right, urine tastes sour unless you have diabetes in which case you'll have sweet pickles! It's all good!

a seed catalog or online seed distributor, look at the melon/cucumber section and buy a variety of pickling cukes, they are prolific fruiting varieties and you will need to attend to them every day once the fruit sets on the plant.

If this is too much for you, simply find your nearest farmer's market and purchase a large 5 to 10 pound bag of pickling cucumbers, they will be good and the farmer will also be happy.

>He wants someone to grow cucumbers.
>When OP was asking specifically for pickles.

*burp* hey OP *burp*
I turned *burp* myself in a pickle, OP
*burp* IM PICKLE ANONNNNNNNN

pickles are the result of pickling a small cucumber intended for this method of preservation.

hope you have someone in your life who really loves you, user. You need it.

That doesn't sound right. You have a source to back it up?

they grow like potatoes.
plant a few in the soil and they will mulitply
in a few months, you'll get a whole jar of pickles for each one planted
remember to 'water' with vinegar and mulch the plants with dill cuttings and bay leaves

haha

I fucking hate you.

Haha I get this reference. God I'm getting old

Reminder that you are not allowed to enjoy pickles because a cartoon that some people on reddit like made a joke about them.

I feel like if pickles could be grown they'd have to grow in the ocean, or at the very least be aquatic.

ocean water is disgusting and unsanitary

>he's never gone pickle fishing
lmao

Plant one in a medium sized plant pot and put it inside next to a sunny window for a few weeks until you see a stem emerge, then replant outside.

google "pickling cucumbers"

i literally grow them and sell them at farmer's markets to people too lazy to google this information

a "pickle" is a type of brine that contains salt to preserve the food item. Many things can be pickled, one of the most popular things to pickle are... pickling cucumbers. you can pickle all sorts of vegetables and fruits (a cucumber is technically a fruit)

I think you are full of bullshit and trying to shill your magic water to OP.
We aren't fooled, cucumber man.

pickles are just wet salty cucumbers

raisins are just mummified grapes

And let me guess, according to your ass backwards mentality prunes are just shriveled plums.

prunes are dehydrated plums, yes
here are some I dehydrated in the sun last summer

pickles are animals living in the earth. some sort of mollusk.

you're confusing pickles with sea cucumbers

I'm dating a girl who didn't know pickles are made from cucumbers. She's 26.

This fucking thread

just imagine recalling puddi puddi
i hope they pull my plug soon

Little Witch Academia is populist trash designed for export to roundeyes.
Baka weeaboo.

half sour is best

:but me in le :screencap, :xDD

>not making a kiszony
sasuga Veeky Forums

...

you mean you WERE dating her

I'm sorry the union episode triggered you /pol/

What's the point when literally everyone in the thread is merely pretending to be retarded, and literally everyone knows it.

My biology professor had a story where this girl in his 101 class learned beef wasn't a plant one day and she lost her shit. Apparently she was vegetarian or something and her parents convinced her beef was from a plant. It wasn't until she was 20 she learned beef comes from cows. She never bothered to look into it or question her parents.

My sister had a friend that said she was vegetarian, but she ate a chicken salad while at a party, and when i pointed it out she told me with a straight face that chicken wasn't meat, because it wasn't red like beef or pork. To her it was like fish.
It blows my fucking mind that there are people this unbielevably stupid.

The only retards here are the people thinking cucumbers are pickles.
They don't even have the same name.