So Veeky Forums, why arent you eating the mother of health foods?

>implying i don't eat asparagus

tfw that first sniff of piss

I fUkINg lOve ASpeRagus

If you dont mind them a little unhealthier heres a really good recipe for brussels i sometimes do:
1. small layer of oil on baking pan
2. cut brussels in half, place face down into oil
3. bake in oven
4. flip them halfway through (so other side gets crispy and absorbs oil
5. salt and pepper generously
6. add bacon bits for extra yum

forgot time and temp, would have to ask but pretty sure its like 375F like most things.

Asparagus, broccoli, and kale

The holy trinity of greens.

Throw spinach in the trash.

I eat it quite often.

Not so much, but sometimes.

>kale
Yucky.

>Yucky.
You're cooking it wrong then.

Cook it in a big pot with bacon fat and garlic like you would for southern style collard greens or whatever.

It's not that bacon with it is unhealthy but I usually eat fatty dishes for the main course which is partially why I like just having it steamed with salt and vinegar, but I'll give it a try if I ever make something it would go well with

Mommy says it makes my cum taste funny.

>tfw Asparagus is 99 cents a pound this week at my nearest grocers

Because its out of season right now.

I would never eat my mother. Especially not in a sexual manner. You are gross. Putting ideas in my head. Please stop.

>wa la

This is a favorite of mine:
nomnompaleo.com/post/66793339868/warm-brussels-sprouts-slaw-with-asian-citrus

I'll cook it longer than suggested because I like it kind of crispy.

Asparagus with olive oil/salt/pepper/garlic and maybe lemon or lemon zest is the bomb, too. Here is a recipe I've been wanting to try
closetcooking.com/2015/06/caesar-grilled-asparagus.html

It does, though. That being said, asparagus is king of vegetables

Those recipes look bomb. Both look like great sides, ought to try one or both.

Brussel sprouts, artichokes, and cabbage for me.

But its suposed to be eaten during 24 h after gathering and so available only few weeks per year.

Because this is Veeky Forums, we discuss alcohol, fast food, and cigarettes here.

I was with you until you needlessly hated on spinach

I usually toss it it with olive oil, salt, and pepper, than throw it in a 500 degree oven for like 10 minutes.

GF won't drink my cum, faggot virgin

I just don't see the point.

For me it is the McChicken. The best fast food sandwich.

Is it Summer yet?

Is there a trick to recognize the ultra-stringy skin ones at the grocery store?
Even when peeling the stem these can still end up fucking awful but the good ones are among my favorite vegetables.

sound like you are over cooking them, desu

I tend to undercook them if anything.

some peel or shorten the ends

Nigga did you even read my post

I only eat asparagus stir fried.

For example, last week I sliced some mushrooms and started them in olive oil. After five minutes I added in a chicken breast sliced into bite sized pieces. When that was about 3/4 cooked, I stirred in some oyster sauce. Then when nearly complete, I added some asparagus spears cut into inch long pieces and stir fried another 4 or 5 minutes. Served over rice, it was about as good as any meal I've had so far this year.

Anyone else like to eat asparagus before sleeping over at a chick's house? Ever since getting Veeky Forums I land chicks all the time but never seem to find a girlfriend. They just bang me and then never text me back. Well I've started pissing in their beds before I leave in the morning and I always eat a couple dozen sprigs of asparagus before I do the deed. That's what they get for using me.

because it's only eadible between easter and 24. june, and expensive as fuck

To whom it may concern,
Asparagus isn't FODMaP friendly.
You're welcome.

i don't care if my food is friendly to anyone, what the fuck

FODMaP diet is specifically for people with a digestive disorder.
Though, imo, I think all people should avoid eating high amounts of fructose in general. And maybe even follow the full FODMaP diet now and then as a form of detox for the digestive system. But that's just my opinion.

You'll always have Soylent™ !!!

Bujy the asparagus spears that are the smallest in diameter. They should be smaller around than your pinky finger. The larger thicker spears are woody and stringy.

I checked but I didn't get any results for soylent, so if was still following the FODMaP diet I wouldn't risk eating it.

Fortunately I no longer have to follow that diet but you don't care because you're just meme'ing, and I've just wasted ten seconds of your life.

>exec autoignore.cfg

>le soyboy meme
Upboated! ;-)

I intend to get some the next time I shop. I like to do a rotation of vegetables through the month rather than sticking to the same ones every week.

Somewhere between 43-63% of people find their urine has a strong, unusual smell after they eat asparagus. Have you ever wondered why that is? In the late 1980s, researchers established that this pungent odor is caused by a combination of several sulfur-containing compounds — including compounds that we now know to be highly toxic, such as the neurotoxin dimethyl sulphoxide (DMSO).

DMSO is produced as a natural byproduct of human metabolism of asparagusic acid, a mildly poisonous constituent of asparagus that appears to be useful to the plant in warding off insects, parasites, and nutrient competition from other nearby plants. In one case study, a participant who ate 500g of asparagus was found to have over half a milligram of DMSO in their urine and another was found to have over 4mg of derivative sulfur-containing volatiles — suggesting that although DMSO may eventually be metabolized into other products within the body, there could still be well over 4mg of DMSO present in the body at any one time, for several hours after ingesting asparagus.

Unfortunately, the fact that asparagus naturally metabolizes into DMSO within the body and causes “stinky urine” was seen as a mere curiosity 30 years ago. Back then, DMSO was generally recognized as safe and routinely used as a synthetic medical solvent.

I've always liked asparagus.

However, in recent years, researchers have found that as little as 0.000015mg of DMSO is enough to permanently destroy neurons in rats. And slightly more DMSO was enough to severely brain-damage young mice. To put this in perspective, a sub-group of mice in this DMSO exposure study (n=15) were given large doses of PCP in order to compare the amount of brain damage caused versus DMSO. PCP is a known neurotoxin that quickly causes devastating and permanent brain damage. The researchers found the expected amount of brain damage from PCP, but the effects of DMSO were both more severe and more widespread. This is especially remarkable considering that the researchers used 5x as much PCP in order to achieve less brain damage than with DMSO. This naively implies that eating 500g of asparagus could cause over 4x as much brain damages as one recreational dose of PCP. Further research has shown that DMSO damages astrocytes and other brain cells that normally survive more common neurotoxins like alcohol or ketamine. Scientists familiar with these results have gone so far as to suggest that DMSO should perhaps replace PCP as the standard compound for inducing brain damage in research animals.

These findings are part of a growing mosaic of evidence that has convinced some countries (like Australia) to outright ban commercial use of DMSO — although it’s still widely used in places like the United States. And although it began it’s life as a medical solvent, DMSO is now more widely used as an industrial solvent. For example, DMSO efficiently dissolves photoresist off LCD-panels during fabrication and is also a highly effective paint stripper.