My brother gave me 4 leftover MREs he had and they are actually really fucking good...

My brother gave me 4 leftover MREs he had and they are actually really fucking good. Why do people constantly complain about these balanced and filling meal surprise bags?

Enjoy the constipation.

Eat enough of those things and you'll think of what our folk in shitlands have to do sometimes, and sometimes for training.

Is there a "pop a sandnigger" flavor?

When your fiber intake changes drastically, it fucks with your bowels. If you suddenly get a lot more fiber, you get constipated. If you suddenly get a lot less fiber, you get diarrhea.

MREs usually contain most of your recommended fiber, and most people get too little fiber. So they're suddenly getting way more fiber than they used to and their shits dry up and clog up.

They're not bad for you, just don't eat nothing but MREs for days or something.
When I'm eating them I only eat one a day at most.

You could do your country a favor if you killed yourself.

I'm in the same boat. My friends in the military loved them too. My brother stole a couple boxes on his way out

It is full of toxic chemicals for the American cattle which turns your insides to goo and gives you constipation and cancer of the stomach and ass. Enjoy dying 15 hears from now. 9

try eating them every day for five months in an outpost in Afghanistan. your mind will change.

they put saltpeter in them to keep the roodypoo population in check

I think hydration is just as much to blame, most people who are surviving on MREs are doing hard physical field work where water is both more needed and less available

>suddenly getting way more fiber than they used to and their shits dry up and clog up
fuck i thought upping my fiber intake was gonna fix my constipation
i havent shat in 3 days and im getting worried

I second this. In true American fashion he should Lynch himself.

Just take a laxative

but user those are scary

Beef ravioli.

If you're not used to a lot of fiber, you're gonna be shitting square.

What's the best source of MREs? the ones on Amazon all look shitty and possibly stolen from the US Military.

your local recruiter can help you find some

Because it's 3000 calories a bag and designed to clog you up so you don't shit yourself in a firefight.
R.I.P. your asshole

You would never eat them 5 months straight like that. Even in a real war you are rotated from the front lines periodically and get a chance to eat regular food.

not as scary as severely compacted shit.l

Find an army surplus store.

took two powder bags of laxative and drank multiple cups of coffee and ate raisins
if this doesnt work ill die

>one MRE = 3000 calories
Retard.

i don't know what 2 powder bags mean but as long as you follow the instructions is should be fine.
A couple of years ago I had hernia surgery and couldn't shit because of the week abdominal wall and I had a big salad the next day like a retard. After not shitting for a two days I got some milk of magnesia and drank a cup or so.
I had the most horrible shits for the better part a day.

If you get the cheese spread with the jalapenos count your blessings.

American mres are fucking shit tier. Worse than.

French mres are god.

>getting worried about two days
Wait... are you supposed to shit more than once a week?

>Italian RVD>French RCI>British ORP>US MRE>German EIR
In my opinion.

Once a day is what I'm going for.

If it's a 24hour one then yeah it is.

Not true. Did 2 7 month deployments to the ghan. Eat MRE or field rations (tray of shit food boiled then opened and served) every day. Once every 2 months or so we got lucky and were sent shitty steaks that would last our platoon 2 meals.
t. Marine

You can order them off of eBay, too. Shop around for the best price in bulk.
Keep in mind that Sopakco MREs are literally the same as militare MREs except for the outer packaging. They come in a clear bag instead of a brown/green one. You can order them by the case.