Food Delivery

I've been working delivery jobs for a while now, mostly for something to do. It's essentially being paid to exercise and ride which I do anyway. I've noticed when we're waiting for an order, all the delivery folks in my city congregate in a few places around town, usually parks with bike stalls etc. Its interesting just how much banter there is. So I wondered if I might be able to stir some of the same discussions I've had with my fellow delivery folks with yourselves.

To that end I'm rather curious how many of you work in delivery, and if you do, how similar your experiences have been to those I know? Do any of you have a "black book" you keep and pass on? I'm constantly sharing and taking down addresses. Mine is literally a little leather bound black notebook I used to use at university but now exists only to note down every warning I am given about specific addresses. I know this isn't just unique to my city, as I've met delivery dudes from other cities, and even other countries, who do the same thing albeit not always in the same way. Apparently some even have online groups/pages they use to track problematic street addresses and add comments etc.

Does delivering food change the way you approach eating? I find myself way less interested in food after a day working, I often don't even have dinner, just a snack. I hate going to restaurants I deliver for too, because no matter how nice they look out front, I've seen the back doors and I've seen just how shocking most restaurants are behind the scenes. When you see how the staff treat delivery people too, it's amazing to see the difference. It's like they don't think I'm going to show up there a week later and be a customer and that same person will be serving me food. It's kind of killed the restaurant experience for me in general.

Any delivery folks got a story to share?

we do the same thing, a group of about 20 drivers for different pizza places in town. all through a google doc. when i deliver somewhere i do a quick search by voice on my phone and listen to the comments if there are any. in the course of a 15-20 minute drive sometimes you figure out its not worth going, or you should fuck with their pizza, etc. the best one is to squish the box down, get all the cheese stuck to the roof. for more serious cases obviously we go much further. its all about trying to get those people to stop ordering pizza altogether so no one has to deal with their shit. nice to know its not just us who do it.

what do people do that's so bad?

>I find myself way less interested in food after a day working, I often don't even have dinner, just a snack

Yes because you are slowly conditioning yourself that getting food=/=eating food. You are also establishing different rewards and cues based around food, and how you perceive it.

Our store has a comment system for addresses, because we make an "account" to track their orders and reccomend better stuff in future, etc. Its all to do with emailing them adverts or some shit.

Anyway it lets us write down everything they do and it goes on the record for that address, and the kitchen staff are great. There is this one famous house, really old really fat woman who makes us pass her food through her fucking window and then takes fucking ages to count out money, im talking 20 minutes and she obviously does it because shes lonely (what a fucking shock) and uses it as an excuse and screams all kind of fucking abuse at us as she does it.

The thing is she used to just do it because shes a cunt. Now she does it because we hate the bitch, and we do everything in our power to ruin her food. Ill slam my box against walls, shake it and squeeze it as I carry it, drop it. If she orders a drink I shake it and pour some out. The kitchen staff are getting in on it too after we tell the stories. They either put in WAY too much of something, im talking packing boxes full of lettuce etc, or theyll just remove and eat parts of her meals. That and all the other disgusting shit you can imagine.

Fuck that woman.

That's really interesting! I never thought about it that way, thanks user.

I was sure I'd heard about this kind of thing, thanks for sharing.

I always see these people driving on their bikes in the rain while i sit in my comfy car and pity them.
I don't wanna support this crap really.

>I've seen the back doors and I've seen just how shocking most restaurants are behind the scenes. When you see how the staff treat delivery people too, it's amazing to see the difference. It's like they don't think I'm going to show up there a week later and be a customer and that same person will be serving me food.
PLEASE share more about this

>I pity people who are exercising and getting fitter while i sit on my ass in traffic

I work a regular 9-5 job, but I love biking and was thinking of picking up a side job doing delivery or bike messengering. what's your job like, how much does it pay? do you like it?

It's a job user, we choose to do it. No one is making us do it. We're not slaves no matter what the newspapers try to make out. Its their own fault if they don't bring waterproof clothes and a jacket like morons.

>mfw delivering anything in college areas
>drunk dudebros hand you $20 for a $12 pizza and let you keep the change

The pay is shit, I make less than minimum wage, but I do it for the exercise, so I'm getting paid to do something I would do anyway, so its free money for me. I like the job, most of the time you spend doing nothing honestly, unless your city has very few delivery people or way too many customers/restaurants, from what im told. I spend 80% of my time sitting on my ass in a park talking to people, which is great.

Sure. Restaurant chain called Wagamama, their kitchen every time I see it made me feel ill. The place passed its health inspection so I wasn't worried about that, but there was just shit EVERYWHERE. Every person had a good two dozen ingredients stacked up around them about to fall over trying to make these dishes. Laminated cards hanging all around them showing them step by step how to prepare stuff. It looked like a nightmare.

Anyway, I delivered for them regularly for three weeks when they first signed up, and the girl who dealt with us was like 18-19. She was such a fucking snob, despite you know, working in fucking Wagamama. She gave the delivery folks such a shit attitude, especially if they were foriegn and didn't understand everything she said in her posh English accent, which was another problem (I'm in Scotland, that accent combined with that attitude doesn't sit well here).

So three weeks later I'm sitting in that same restaurant with my friends telling them ABOUT HER when SHE SHOWS UP TO SERVE US. Within about 30 seconds, everyone was giving me sideways glances and smiling, they realized it was her. Can't believe she didn't recognize me, I saw her about 6 times a day for 3 weeks. Anyway by the end of it we had a table of 15 people and none of us left a gratuity, we made sure to note on the reciept "no tip - bad service".

She was way nicer to the customers, but she had the same kind of "standoffish" attitude, posh accent.

best tip I ever got was when a drunk guy handed me a bunch of money after trying to count it (I later counted it out, £120) and just said "keep the change". he nearly fell over carrying his food inside.

the guy said keep the change, not my fault he cant fucking drink.

>picking up order from burger king
>massively obese black woman behind counter
>yelling at the delivery people for "bein too quick i cant count da ordahs"
>theres literally fucking three bags
>she spends a full five minutes reading the reciepts and comparing them to the bags each and every fucking time
>the food is getting cold and it hasn't even left the fucking building
>every time another delivery person comes in she screams at them for "tryan to rash me"
>when her manager comes over and drops off four more bags all going to the same place she freaks her nut
>"HOW AM AH SAPOSED TO COUNT FORE BAGS DIS QUICK WHY THA FOCK DE FOCKING GOVAHMANT MAKE ME WARK"
>manager tells her she's going to have a disciplinary meeting
>suddenly her whole attitude drops
>"NO PLEEZ MISTAH MAH CHEELDAREN THEY NEED THA MONAY PLEEZ THEY CUT OFF ME BENAHFEETS IF I LOSE DEES JOB AGAIN"
>starts crying and knocking shit over
>knocks the bags over and spills all the food
>manager tells her to go the fuck home and he'll call her, no more meetings this time
>mfw

Every time we have a bad experience delivering somewhere, we tell all the other drivers. From that point on, we make sure our deliveries are:
late
cold (we leave the bag open)
damaged (we fuck them up but keep the boxes pristine)
fucked up (we tilt the boxes to the side so it runs everywhere)
sneezed, spit, coughed, pissed, jizzed in

on the other hand if we get a good tip, or even if the people are friendly to us:
we grab free shit, or stuff that's going to waste, put it in your bag
put some effort into getting there on time
make sure to be careful with your food

the number of times someone I know to be an asshole has given me shit and I smile back with a shit eating grin knowing what they're about to eat

long story short be nice to your delivery guys

You in Glasgow?

Vindictive wagie thread?
>tip me well OR ELSE

I don't think anyone has said that user.

Nope.

>hear about delivery drivers fucking with food
>never tip them because of these stories
>sometimes the restaurant calls me and begs me to tip them
>"maybe they shouldnt spit in my food"
>50% of the time they apologize immediately, even if its my first time ordering there
>look directly into each vengeful wagie's eyes as they deliver my food for free

just thought it might be the wagamamas i go to

you're still eating the food they spit and do much worse in

>HAH ILL SHOW YOU

Is this guy fucking serious?

How does that stop them fucking with your food?

Who the hell cums into people's food? What if a baby is going to eat some, wise guy?

They will fuck with your food no matter what, so deprive them of livelihood. They'll resort to dealing drugs, get arrested and society will improve.

So you are saying by simply not tipping, they are going to make me eat jizz?

>they will fuck with your food no matter what

the autism is frightening. how do you live your life this way? do you honestly think that? the irony is, they do that because you act that way, but you act that way because you assume thats what they would do anyway

I have no interest in gambling with the whims of some wagie. Have you seen these some of these delivery people? They are the festering detritus of society, even worse than NEETs, I have no doubt in my mind they would take any form of revenge they could get their petty mongrel hands on. Hopefully robots replace the entire food industry soon so I don't have to waste my time with vindictive, hideous "people" anymore.

BUT YOU STILL EAT THE FOOD

so you knowingly eat shit, piss and cum?

>this petty
>thinks they give a shit about a single tip
>eats there despite thinking its full of shit

boy user you sure showed them by eating their cum

What are some things people will do that makes them bad people to deliver to? I'm always super polite to people who deliver food.

You have to go pretty far to get into my book, i mean being abusive, or making us wait an unreasonably long time to answer your door (it does not take more than 5 minutes to get to your front door, if it does, you should have a carer). If you blame us for something that's not our fault, and especially if it's actually your fault.

Is it unreasonable to ask for them to bring your order to your door? I always feel bad for asking when they ask me to go collect it from their car.

>black book
>online groups
how much of a self-important nobody must you be to think that this is even necessary?

When do you delivery fucks have time to jack off onto the food? you keep a special reserve jar when someone is naughty?

I'm sure they keep some inside there rectum.

Some people take upwards of 10 minutes to collect their food or even come to the door. If they're a known shitlord I sit in the car and wait.

>The only way I can do exercise is by combining it with my job because I do not enjoy doing it in my free time as a healthy lifestyle

You guys are fucking losers. Just 86 the bitch.

The people who don't tip more than 20%. Fuck those people.

Please explain why a driver smashed my pizza.
I went in for carryout the week before and i was normal, i wasn't rude or anything.
The same guy who took my order there, delivered the pizza the next week. Why did he smash the box? What did i do to him? The last time i ordered from there i tipped $5 for a small order.

Maybe it was an honest mistake

do you deal drugs when you congregate in those parks

Yeah maybe
I still tipped him but it wasnt much (this was before i realized the food was fucked

>wagamama
hallo

I just make sure to tack on around 20% in tips and round up to the nearest dollar, give or take since I hate coinsy and thank the delivery guy.
I feel sorry for those of you that brave the days its hot or cold or rainy as fuck. And then the shitty customers you get.

>America's working conditions are so garbage that even something as basic as delivery is sabotaged by bitter failures who purposely do their job worse when protection money isn't paid

Yikes

>We're not slaves no matter what the newspapers try to make out.
And yet you're so underpaid that you feel like you're entitled to break the law and fuck with stuff people have paid for, just because someone didn't go along with your glorified panhandling.

then the babby get pregnant

Underrated

>It's like they don't think I'm going to show up there a week later and be a customer and that same person will be serving me food

Interesting point, how desrespectul can they be ? I'm always curious to see 2 faced employee.

Do you know any bicycle weed guys like the Guy in High Maintenance ?

I seriously didn't know that deliveriers are so vindictive, but I auppise that the sort of people who pay for food delivery (especially to their home) is a breed of people I haven't come in contact with directly and thus have not experienced just how disgustingly these kinds of people behave, so I can't really criticize deliverers for behaving poorly towards them.
I just hope that deliverers don't fuck with orderers who don't tip, because i don't think it's a requisite for receiving non-fucked service. I personally tend to tip (if at restaurants, bars etc.) if im actually happy with the service I've received but don't treat it as a formal necessity to always tip regardless of if ithink it's waranted.

As a job i think id maybe like to work as a bicycle deliverer in principal practice but have heard that the business treats its employees poorly (and apparently the customers can be a hassle to deal with too) but just the aspect of bicycling as a job sounds appealing to me aince i do that dailly anyway. Can think it can be quite wxciting actually, hqving a tifht delivery schedule, having to navigate well and peddal your ass off to manage in time.

Any more good stories to be shared?

>be me
>delivering 2 pizzas pie to this person. Probably having a party
>rang door bell a sad looking fat dude came out. Looks like 35
>chat a little bit
>aight thanks for the tip, lates
>he asked if I can stay for another 30 minutes just to chill.
>he ordered 2 pizzas so we can share. I can almost feel he is about to cry
>the thought of all the dead pizza delivery man in his basement creeps me out
>t-thanks but sorry I have other delivery to make

What would you have done differently ?

This is why the rest of the world is eagerly awaiting the day when we can replace you chimps with robots.

If i truly wasn't in a hurry and had time to give I'd stay for a while,but it ofcourse depends if the person really did seem like a pizza-delivery person killer or just in need of some company.
Giving time to people when it goes out of your zone of comfort is a great way to gain character and it really can help those you choose to spend a bit of time with

Still risky. I'll prob just invite him to a ball game or something

Yeah, that'd be a good idea