How the fuck do I cook shellfish without it coming out like burnt, salty rubber?

How the fuck do I cook shellfish without it coming out like burnt, salty rubber?

By following the recipe.

rost at pic

Seared scallops

Steam that shit, nigger. Grill oysters in their liquor and finish with compound butter.

The guy that wrote that absolutely must be a virgin.

But I'm afreared of undercooking them and getting assworms.

Permavirgins are terrified of women and genuinely think having sex makes their labias turn into roast beef.

roasties detected

Well quit being such a gaywad and go eat some well done goat penis instead then.

hilarious

Fuck off, roastie

>But I'm afreared of undercooking them
They're supposed to be undercooked. No wonder you fuck it up everytiem.

Ass expanded and blasted roastie detected. Don't worry, you can still get your one night stands - some men find roast beef flaps delicious.

>can't cook

Ladies, please settle down.

Post feet.

This. Post feet or GTFO.

>rosting at pics

There is an amount of usage that can destroy a vagina.
Some vaginas are just sloppy.

Nah I'm a guy who has been with women before.

it does. lots of sex/big dicks does it.

...

r9k is more your speed m8, this is a food board

Aside from the racial epithets I pretty much agree with this dude. Also beer steamed clams served with french fries are pretty righteous in my opinion.

Tick Tock

m8 look at any biology book. Vagina is a muscle, and muscles relax. She would have to keep a cucumber in there overnight in order to even begin to change the shape in any permanent way.

I have faith in a machine doing all of these tasks, even spreading my genetic material to a new generation.

I have doubt in the average woman's desire to do these tasks for someone else, for the rest of their life.

I guarantee she wont either.

Whiteknighting for your whore wife or something?

>"No no sweetie vaginas are SUPPOSED to look like that haha I definately didnt fuck 37 guys way hotter than you before I settled, im a virgin I swear!"

Cook my meals? Wash my clothes? Make my home?
Doesnt sound like a very EMPOWERED woman to me.

...

Asshole is also muscle and we hear all the time about pornstars who need diapers.

That's only because of expensive or irreparable damage that can be done with irresponsible stretching.

Google The Blue Room. Very successful porn star got her asshole destroyed from an excessively rough and prolonged shoot. She had surgery to fix it but the bill was so massive that she's basically impoverished now.

You're not going to destroy a girl's genitals with normal sex you virgin.

to be fair I don't think the asshole was intended for stuff going into it... looking at you, gays

>looking at you, gays
you would be, fag