I'm ending it tomorrow

bruh we are born from death. you got all eternity to be dead. whats a few years of living when your going to be dead for a millennia? might as well see what happens

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I just ate some fried chicken. The breasts were juicy, and the buns were soft and warm. Afterwards, the division manager of Popeyes came up to my table and asked me how the meal was.I said I was satisfied, but the meal lacked a certain je ne sais quoi. He apologized profusely, and said he had something to show me that would make up for it.
He lead me to the back of the popeyes, to a room soaked from floor to ceiling in blood. In the center of it was a live horse, chained by all four legs to the structural supports of the warehouse like room. As I watched, employees of the popeyes cut large sections from the horse, which was whinneying and screaming in horror, the remaining sections of its body covered with festering sores and a froth of sweat.
The popeyes employees took the chunks of horseflesh and sliced them into pieces, then they rooted around through the bags of trash strewn around the room to find discarded chicken bones.
They quickly tenderized the meat with sledgehammers and fed it into a machine which formed the horsemeat around the bones, then they breaded and deepfried it.
I asked the division manager why he had led me back to this place, and he pointed at the steed's rump, the diseased asshole puckering rythmically with terror, squirting pus with each convulsion. "We're just about to use that section, would you like a crack at it first?"
I quickly unzipped my pants and wasted no time jamming my erect penis into the stallion's defenseless asshole. With each thrust, I donkey punched the horse in the back of the head, making it clench its ass even tighter. I came just as the horse died. I was delighted. Popeyes definitely went the extra mile to make me a satisfied customer.

>that last sip of your life

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Hey

dude, if it's gonna be your last last, then fucking treat yo self, find a local steakhouse, not one of the chains, and have a ribeye med rare

Can have your Veeky Forums Pass?

>What should be my last meal?

Go on a road trip to one of the two places in America that still serves Mcdonalds Pizza and have one.
It'll give you some time by yourself to think by yourself whether or not you actually want to kill yourself and even if you don't end up changing your mind- you'll still have the novelty of getting to try a Mcdonalds Pizza to look forward to.

all-you-can-eat buffet that's open 24/7

stay until the end

I would rape and eat another human if I was sure to end myself after

That's the problem, there's always the chance that that is where he finds meaning in his life and he ends up eating another two dozen people.

Don't do it dude. You can still buy mescaline literally on ebay and get zonked the fuck out and discover new meaning in your life through the power of drugs and then die anyway because you slit your wrists before it started to kick in and you were too scared to call the cops.

Why the fuck would you get some fast food shit as a last meal if you are going to kill yourself? Pawn all your shit and go to a decent restaurant.

A bullet

haha nice e-joke friend! hilarious!

hope you come back and post again soon!

>Why the fuck would you get some fast food shit as a last meal if you are going to kill yourself?
KFC is fucking good.

A bloomin onion

sooflay

This is my favorite pasta
Fag
>implying this little homo has ever held a gun before

not sure if anybody is aware of it, or simply not mentioning it, but the current rekt thread on /gif/ features a suicide by a guy who was posting on /r9k/ at the time. dude blew his brains out.
might be op.

F

...and I mean it happened today.

>Why the fuck would you get some fast food shit as a last meal if you are going to kill yourself? Pawn all your shit and go to a decent restaurant.

You might find this surprising, but people who're getting executed don't typically request big fancy eats (this is even when the option is available mind you), they pick things like pizza, fried chicken, steak, ice cream, fries, and cheeseburgers.

>wanting to shit yourself when you off yourself
Just water.

This sounds like the faggiest shit, but i started living with a "fuck it, let's see what happens" mentality and things have never been better. It sort of rids you of the anxiety of life when you realize you're basically just an actor in the world's greatest drama.

that was a pretty gruesome blow

kek

>Killing yourself fast instead of your eating yourself to death.

Dying like a fucking brainlet.

>cheat day.
My girlfriend has these a lot. I'm not sure what she eats because she always goes out for them. Never brings home leftovers either, but I don't complain since she miraculously somehow manages not to never get fat.

Gave me a good chuckle.

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Spray cheese on crackers with malt liquor.

was it him?

Nah, he was too skinny to be on Veeky Forums

This kills the cuck.

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kek

Why do you care if there's one less retard on earth?