Line Cook/ Bartender Stories

Post stories about the exciting and rewarding world of food service.

>working inna resort/ restaurant in northern Minnesota
>make a whole hog roast over open pit fire
>as we cooks carve the pig we save the head in the walk-in
>waitresses rent a cabin at the resort
>next day waitress complaining that another waitress is hung over and won't get out of bed for her shift.
>"you guys aren't doing anything go wake her up"
>other cook Randy looks at me
>"well, user?"
>"do it"
>Randy takes pigs head, sneaks into the waitresses cabin
>puts it under her blankets like the scene from the Godfather
>returns to kitchen
>...
>screaming from cabin
>waitress busts in with pig head grease all over her face hands and pajamas
>WHICH ONE OF YOU SICK FU
>randy points at me
>"AYYY"

more?

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>working in a kitchen on the fourth of july
>it's dead af
>everyone watching the fireworks
>beelsfad man
>boss comes up to the line
>"hey user i have keys to the roof"
>oh baby
>"yo user, you don't happen to have your saxophone in your car do you?"
>i sure do bud
>"go get it right now"

played the star spangled banner, america the beautiful, and the end of 1812 overture as the fireworks went off on the roof of this large complex to a crowd of spectators in my cook garb. on the clock.
felt pretty cool man

Comfy thread so far.

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>just about finished with the oven part of my shift and currently portioning out pizza dough for the day ahead
>"Do you smell that user?"
>smell nothing but head over to pastry station
>suddenly it hits me
>smells like the inside of a cast once they cut if off you soaked in ass
>spend the next five minutes searching the immediate area with pastry chef
>still can't fucking find it but we both figure the evening dishbitch must've missed a spot and spray some orange extract to cover it up
>find out the next day that someone had attempted to make kimchi for company potluck (two weeks ago) but forgot about it after the container fell and got wedge between racks

y'all are making me miss my old night baking job because it was comfy as fuck

I face fucked some bulimic Applebees waitress in West st paul

I like this

Phone dag here sorry for autocorrected non green story. Working in call center for large pizza chain. Pure hell. One of the worst jobs ever. Just endless phone calls. Have a real job lined up just doing it to keep my lights on until I walk. It's playoffs NBA season. Getting tons of drunk calls. Obnoxious horrible people constantly fucking with me all night. Some guys call in and just say three large. I ask large what? They say pizzas. I ask what they want on em. They say fuck off send three large. I ask them to pick some pies they say fuck off surprise us faggot. Not even exaggerating these guys were real meanies. I confirm three surprises. Sent them three custom pizzas with the most expensive fucked up toppings I could think of. Oysters, shrimp, taco meat, sour cream instead of sauce, lettuce, corn cheddar cheese and some other cursed tier shit. Enter custom name to appear on the bill "seafood bonanza". Got fired 45 minutes later, asked the manager if they were surprised.

We would carve up suckling pigs and keep the heads in the freezer to scare the new girls on salad. A few got mad and had a laugh later, but one freaked out so bad she started crying hysterically. When she found out who did it she slashes their car tires and broke a window. Don't fuck with crazy female line cooks, noted

/r/trashyboners
west stpaul is pretty shitty.

Used to work at a local pizza shop as a driver. We would keep track of all the people who wouldn't tip in a notebook. And when they would call we would do stuff to their pizza. Our revenge started off real innocent like double charging their card or delivering the pizza late. But we were bored 19 year-old so we started doing stuff to the nontippers' pizza to make each other laugh. Pencil shavings, sneezes, hair clippings. One kid accidentally stepped in dog shit one night delivering and came back to the shop and scraped it onto this one asshole's pizza. We were dying from laughter. Anyway I stayed at the shop and it was delivered. 30 minutes later I got a phone call from this non-tipping asshole. I'm thinking, "oh shit! We gone too far this time"
Anyway, he wants us to tell the manager that he likes the old seasoning. This pizza had way too much oregano and he could barely finish eating it because there was an overwhelming stench of oregano.

Doing god's work, user.

That is terribly disgusting dude.

And hilarious.

Got any more stories OP?

>be a cook
>actually enjoy and respect what i do

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Fuck you

>deliver food
>don't fuck with it on the way even if I hate the guy I'm delivering to because I don't have a trenchcoat and katana at home

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>work at a country club
>work almost every holiday except christmas
>thanksgiving, cook a full thanksgiving meal barring frozen pumpkin pies
>13 families one year, 3 ovens
>massive snowstorm early in the morning
>snowed in, work all day and night, on my break i volunteered to shovel
>stay in one of the clubhouse rooms, pretty comfy
>massive holiday pay, massive check

10/10 overall, it was a long day and not extremely intense

LOL that's fucking gold. good on ya m8y

pizza delivery is definitely grunt-tier, but holy shit if there aren't some great stories to tell

>he doesn't bring at least two Nipponese swords and a trenchcoat on all of his pizza deliveries

>seafood bonanza
Good job, user.

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Fuck people who don't tip the delivery guy.

What the fuck is a katana?

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half cat half banana.

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A type of assault-rifle I think

Kek

North Shore, Gunflint, or other?

Umm....do you want a certificate or something?

You should instead say fuck the employers who shove their responsibility to customers. Tip is gratuity, it is not a requirement.

I get a certificate called a "paycheck" at the end of the week for continued employment. It's my reward for not fucking with people's food to impress neckbeards and teenagers on Veeky Forums

Vermillion near the casino

This is the stealth minnesota thread right?