About to marathon this food

What am I in for?

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All that Christ body my dude.

Some holy shits.

He became crackers for you.

literally why?

>literally why?

Why does any religion force their population to do retarded, outdated rituals? Control.

Having said that. Christian rituals are nothing compared to fucking Muslims and their insanity. If eating a cracker is "crazy" to you, then don't bother reading up on any Muslim traditions. You'll end up in the fetal position.

>tfw you eat too many and a gnome-sized fetal jesus bursts through your chest, dripping with half-formed flesh like a fresh slice of 'go 'za, eyes sagging out if its head, letting forth a guttural shriek from its quivering throat flaps
Hate that feel

carbs

>in CCD
>we’re going over how communion is given before our first communion in a week
>priest has unblessed host for us to practice with
>one kid receives it, runs to the back of the classroom, and throws up

Forgiveness in bread wafer form

I just went to a Catholic church and they put it directly into your mouth. It was weird.

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Go on.

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The wafer I mean. they make you get on your knees. I don't think I'll be back.

why is that priest wearing a wedding ring?

They normally only do that for retards or old people with arthritis

That must be pretty hot having qts kneel in front of you with their tongues out

The flu.

>What am I in for?
eternal salvation, bro

>About to marathon this food
make a new thread asking what you thought of it

Nah. I want to see OP stuffed with crackers first.

Molestation.

Probably some degenerate form of pr*testantism

I thought only catholics eat the wafers and wine

THEY ARE NOT CRACKERS THEY'RE WAFERS DEGENERATE AGNOSTIC FAGGOTS

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>calls other people degenerate
>doesnt realize the wafers are the body of Christ
stupid proddie

Why did you receive communion? You’re not supposed to do that until you’ve been baptized (assuming you aren’t under 8)

I want christ inside me tho

Protestants use grape juice and snake venom, lol!

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You're not supposed to chew on them.

Dunno that much about it but Orthodox priests can get married and they do communion. Although at the only Orthodox church I've ever been to they use literal hunks of bread.

You’re only allowed to have one or two of these a day, sorry bud. I always did want to order some unconsecrated wafers to eat but I feel like that’d be sacrilegious now desu. That said, taking the Eucharist often is a sure path to holiness!

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Converted Anglican priests are also allowed to remain married, although they cannot be a pastor of a parish. Eastern rite Catholic priests are also allowed to be married, but they may not re-marry if their wife dies. Of course, no divorces are permitted.

>Having said that. Christian rituals are nothing compared to fucking Muslims and their insanity. If eating a cracker is "crazy" to you, then don't bother reading up on any Muslim traditions. You'll end up in the fetal position.

Fuck you. You're not allowed to talk about muslims! That's racist!

>Control
You know it's a free country, right user? No one is forcing you to go to church.

I always bring a bottle of honey-flavored syrup to church, put a lot on my mouth before eating that. Christ Body deserves to be tastier.

>he unironically believes this
Oh you naive fool you really don't know what goes on behind the scenes do you?

Neither do you, the only difference is that you've chosen one among many conspiracies to believe in

Why? They taste like paper

Fucking sheep go to reddit with all the other blind fools.

user sounds like he has his heart set on it

You're in for kino.

I remember going to church when I was young and getting little cups with the crackers on the lid and some grape juice inside it. It was my favorite part of church time. I always dreamed of finding the stash and just downing all the crackers and grape juice.

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They're pretty dry, gonna need some wine to go with it. I suggest some sacramental wine.

Make a Youtube video bro!

>he's never lied to a priest
heh, you haven't lived to you've knicked communion off of a trusting pedophile

This is becoming less and less common these days. Nobody wants to touch someones tongue and nobody wants their tongue touched. Only people who still receive communion this way at my church are the super old traditionalist folks.

>grape juice

they don't serve you wine?

Some churches get some boss wafers.

And grape juice is delicious in small doses.