Greatest Food Mascots

Soft_member
Soft_member

Tony A Tiger

I matured into an intelligent and strong male specimen around the late 90's. I was seven or eight enjoying the finer things in life; y'know, garbonzo beans, the taste of lentil, the pallet of an old soul. But inside... inside I was not smiling. Something was missing. Fun. They say the refined die a quiet death. Nobody would have mourned my death at the time. I was dull. A smart whippersnapper too European for his own darn good!

That's where Tony A Tiger enters the picture. It was April. April showers bring higher suicide rates, or so statisticians tell us. I was suicidal all but when playing the popular, groundbreaking even, role playing game Final Fantasy 7. But it wasn't enough. Aerith had just died and my faculties were distraught... to say the least! Teehee. Well lo and behold I tune into the Nickelodeon network for a round of Chuckie Finster and the gang but it was the commercial break. Drats!

But no. Tony A Tiger bellows from the high heavens, "THEY'RE GREAT!". What's great? Life is shit. I was hooked. What could be so great in a world full of sorrow. Heck tell me. Tell me Tony! I watched Nickelodeon for an hour before the ad repeats. "Frosted Flakes! They're moore thaan good...", huh? "THEY'RE GREAT!". WHOA.

Frosted Flakes. A sugary confection so flavorful even the milk slurps like a sugarcane stew. "Dad, we're going to Hy-Vee. I'll tell you later" and like that we were off to the supermarket. I skip to the breakfast aisle and pull the box from the shelf in such a frenzy that pop tarts spread out on the aisle. I stepped on a box.

The first munch transported me to a place no old soul would be caught dead in: CHILDHOOD. A place where fun exists and Aerith isn't dead. By jove, Tony was correct! Frosted Flakes are great.

Who are your favorite mascots?

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All urls found in this thread:

today.com/food/queen-elizabeth-eats-simple-cereal-breakfast-t118018

SniperGod
SniperGod

He probably tastes like a peanut

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PackManBrainlure
PackManBrainlure

the leviathan of food

TreeEater
TreeEater

to actually have had a childhood

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DeathDog
DeathDog

iconic, not favorite

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Spazyfool
Spazyfool

The Queen of England eats Special K whats your excuse

today.com/food/queen-elizabeth-eats-simple-cereal-breakfast-t118018

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Supergrass
Supergrass

Crunchatize me daddy

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iluvmen
iluvmen

Ha ha haha teehee. Cap'n Crunch. Didn't discover him until my teens. I had an interest in navel pursuits of the heart. A fondness which very well could have landed me on a Navy vessel saluting the skipper. Teehee! Just goes to show inspiration can come from anywhere. It wasn't for naught. I am very good at swimming long distance and have the body to show it.

How would I rate the cereal? Hmm. It has crunch but it is far too starchy for this man! It does not taste very good to me. It has pieces with different textures. Some are jagged. Those hurt my mouth sometimes so it is not a food you can eat without thinking about how your tongue is moistening the pieces without hurting parts of your mouth. For those reasons I have to rate it a C- product...

AND you can take that to the bank!

PackManBrainlure
PackManBrainlure

The Dolores lady.

Skullbone
Skullbone

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Harmless_Venom
Harmless_Venom

Why are those pork rinds wet?

girlDog
girlDog

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TalkBomber
TalkBomber

Final Fantasy 7 sucked.

likme
likme

Kramer

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iluvmen
iluvmen

A HANKERIN' FER A HUNKA CHEESE

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TurtleCat
TurtleCat

family guy wallcrash man

SniperWish
SniperWish

LOL

Burnblaze
Burnblaze

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Stark_Naked
Stark_Naked

Vinegar. You're supposed to shake it off before putting em in your mouth. They're really good with hot sauce.

Bidwell
Bidwell

*palate
*naval
*distances

Playboyize
Playboyize

Hey, did you know you can make popsicles by pouring juice into an ice cube tray, covering the tray with plastic wrap, then sticking a toothpick into each one? Yep. Just put that in the freezer and you're set!

PurpleCharger
PurpleCharger

You are a thug. I needn't be bothered by a blank man's neanderthalic CORRECTIONS . I have a higher IQ than you for sure. You don't know anything about me. Go away. You are treating my thread like a playground.

Poker_Star
Poker_Star

Based.

I think my favorite is Golden Graham's.
Oh! Those Golden Graham's
Oh! Those Golden Graham's

Boy_vs_Girl
Boy_vs_Girl

reads like a teenage Herman Hesse

farquit
farquit

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Spazyfool
Spazyfool

fuck I miss being able to get these

Spamalot
Spamalot

I grew up in a family where we are forbidden to eat fast food. I remember seeing nacho and dog in taco bell commercial and always wonder how their food taste like

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likme
likme

Your are/were wise. .

CouchChiller
CouchChiller

Tony the tiger is great to read his Twitter and see all the disgusting furry shit all over his page while corporate mods do their best to fight the ever constant wave of degeneracy to keep things pg for the kids

Always thought the Smacks frogs was a cool guy though

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RavySnake
RavySnake

Tony has always looked like a pedo

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Skullbone
Skullbone

you are all non cultered swine

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PurpleCharger
PurpleCharger

Stupid millennials probably don't know who this is
lol so dumb

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GoogleCat
GoogleCat

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