Waiter gets down on one knee to take your order

>be me
>go to local restaurant with gf
>order drinks
>waitress kneels down to take orders
>gf orders a French Dip
>and you, user?
>order same and then ass, "while you're down there, wanna do me a favor?
>waitress asks, "like what?"
>you could suck my dick, for starters
>waitress replies, I thought you'd never ask
>crawls under table, unzips me and starts licking the head of my dick
>start getting hard
>gf asks, is she really doing it?
>I say fuck yeah ans she's had practice
>gf slides under table and now 2 chicks are blowing me
>I glance under tabl and my gf has 2 fingers in the waitress' pussy and a thumb in her butt
>she's giving her a good fucking
>waitress keeps blowing me
>restaurant owner comes to my table
>everything all right sir?
>I'm fine I say, getting ready to blow a big load
>h walks away as I shoot into the waitress mouth, and hear the ladies under my table climax together
>my gf was frigging herself while she fingered the waitress
>both come up
>guess I should get you those French Dips
>she walks toward the kitchen
>gf looks coyly at me
>so are you going to give her a big tip?
>fuck no
>why not?
>she's my half-sister and she owe me a lot of money
>gf looks confused
>I'm getting hard again, why don't you suck me off while we wait for our French Dips
>gf crawls under table and blows me again
>French Dips come and we eat them and all the French fries, too
>leave 18% tip, because she is my half-sister
>the end

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good for you

But how does he get out without the eggs breaking?

>Some flimsy research says that waiters who lower themselves to eye-level with the customers get more tips.
This, but also, I think that their feet hurt/back hurts, and it's a momentary weight off of one foot.

Waiter spreads his ass and suctions it to your neck

Why did you write all of that

does this really happen

lmao

This is the real reason. If you're at an informal, local restaurant and the waiters do it, it's usually so the atmosphere is friendlier, or so the owner of my workplace has said.

>waiter follows you home to take your order

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>tell waiter order
>waiter tips you
>waiter brings food
>tip waiter back
only in america

Makes it easier to hold giant wine bottles.

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it is a more comfortable thing for guys to do while girls might try and sit at the table. usually if the energy is right it's totally acceptable, unless they're constantly doing it then it gets weird.

Fucking zozzle

>waiter follows you to the grave to take your order

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So he's a waiter now?

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I have always heard it's good for serving a table with kids (getting on their level makes them feel important and not like the server is talking down to them so it makes sense) but not for adults

>Fuck waitress in bathroom stall after meal

Reminds me of the dick head videos where people order off the kids menu that clearly states it is for a certain age group only and proceed to film getting mad when they have to pay full price.

Keep a close watch for any sudden movements. 9 times out of ten the bastard's preparing to knee you in the jaw.

>When you ask for your steak Cleveland instead of Pittsburgh by mistake

because we can't hear your fucking autistic mumbling so we have to get closer to hear you. speak the fuck up when you go out to eat.

>waiter comes to table
>”bend the kneel, wageslave”
>bends

Pretty much this. He's being obsequious and subservient paying grovelling homage to his master (you) who hold him in thralldom and can sentence him to a night of starvation by withholding his pittance of tip. He'd lick the soles of your shoes if you told him to.

would you rather give your order to someone's face or someone's crotch? Never mind, don't answer that....

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>waiter follows you to the gates of heaven to take your order

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>"You 'bout to propose to me, bro?"

>bend the kneel

That's quite a mental image

Crotch definitely

>hand not only un-hovered but sliding up leg to the promised land while people watch and take pictures
future chad in progress

>waiter rescues you from the depths of hell dante's inferno style to take your order

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>go to bufallo wild wings by myself
>sit down in booth
>waiter sits down across from me
>"looks like its just you and me huh? what're you having?"
>can't look him in the eye
>leave

i hate this

bullshit

lost

no this happens more than you think in flyover country, fucking waitresses are horny as hell

when a waitress goes to one knee, you're on your way bj-town, buckeroo

I had a chick do this once when I was on a date and it was so weird I couldn't get over it.

Like he’s talking to children...

>'wageslave'
>Works for tips
>Doesn't make a wage

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Why he looks like he's taking a dump?

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>when you're forging a steak knife on your anvil in preparation for your meal and they ask you to leave because you're disturbing the other customers
I make sure to drag the anvil out of the door so it leaves rust stains on it just to piss them off that bit extra.

Didn't you order italian meatballs?

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a wage can be hourly, you dope

Tips aren't hourly either.

>Tips are hourly

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I really don't like waiters, I hope I live to see the day when they are replaced by robots tbqh