MBWEMBE BEST OF ALL OF THEM>I was only 9 years old >I loved Deano so much, I had the norf FC shirt and a new build house >I pray to Deano every night before bed, thanking him for the life I've been given >"Deano is love" I say; "Deano is life" >My dad hears me and calls me a faggot >I know he was just jealous of my devotion for Deano >I called him a cunt >He slaps me and sends me to go to sleep >I'm crying now, and my face hurts >I lay in bed and it's really cold >Suddenly, a warmth is moving towards me >It's Dean >I am so happy He whispers into my ear "Oi Oi lad." >He grabs me with his powerful ogre hands and puts me down onto my hands and knees >I'm ready >I spread my ass-cheeks for Deano >He penetrates my butt-hole >It hurts so much but I do it for Deano >I can feel my butt tearing as my eyes start to water >I push against his force >I want to please Deano >He roars "WAAAAAAAHEEEEEY as he fills my butt with his love >My dad walks in >Deano looks him straight in the eyes and says "Proppa mental wern it." >Deano leaves through my window >Deano is love. Deano is life.
>be British >Mohammed gangbangs your daughter erry day >report to police >get arrested for inciting racial hatred >get gangbanged by Mohammed in jail erry day >daughter goes to the police >Constable Sergeant Mohammed ibn Mohammed takes down her report >nothing happens >daughter kills self >released after five years >Mohammed breaks into your house, rapes your wife (also you) and steals your telly >oi mate weres yer telly loisence >mfw you have to pay for Mohammed to watch the BBC on your telly >hand the chap your quid >report burglary to police, make sure you don't mention who did it >Constable Lieutenant Mohammed ibn Mohammed says the police don't have the resources to investigate household burglaries >Go over to Mohammed's taxpayer-provided house >Armed with a hollow aluminum dildo, the only metal objects now permitted for British subjects to own >Mohammed and his mates open fire on you small arms and RPGs >back to jail for inciting racial hatred while in possession of a deadly weapon >sentence suspended by Judge Ahmed ibn Mohammed when he learns you will require treatment in an NHS. >Die of sepsis in waiting room while Dr Pandeep Gupta delivers his 15th Nigerian baby today >Body sold to kebab vendor for resale to non-halal customers >Big Ben doesn't bong in the distance because it's currently broken
>IT'S FOOKIN' TIME LADS, >IT'S FOOKIN TIME YEAAAAH FOOKIN HELL LADS THE FOOTY IS ON >THEY AIN'T GO NO FOOKIN TACTICS INNIT YA GET ME MATE? THEY SHUD PUT MGUBWE ON DEFENSE MATE HE WAS FOOKIN SHIT LAST SEASON. >YEAH MATE BUT FOOKIN MIMBASA BLOCKED FOOKIN ALL OF SHITSIDE'S SHOTS MATE >WHAT THE FUCK HE'S NAME IS FOOKIN MUMBWASA YOU RACIST CUNT BET IT WAS YOU WHO THREW THAT FOOKIN NANA >YEAH MATE SHOW RACISM THE RED CARD YOU PRICK >FOOKIN SHUT UP LADS THE FOOKIN FOOTY IS ON. >WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU YOO FUCKKKIN CUNT >YEAH MATE AL-RASHAD REALLY PUT SOME FUCKIN DOSH INTO THE CLUB LOVE THE NEW CALIPHATE STADIUM MATE FOOKIN BRILL >YOU FOOKIN SEE NORF F.C LAST NIGHT WOT CUNTS WET BASTARDS HAHAH YOU >WOT THE FUCK U SAY ABOUT NORF F.C FOOKING GAMBEBWE BLEW YOU OUT THE WATER LAST FOOKIN SEASON TWOOO NILLL, TWOOOO NILLL, NORF F.C THE TEAM FOR ME VINDALLOOOO FUCK INGERLAND F.C >YOU WANNA GO YOU FUCKIN CUNT YOU WANNA FUCKIN GO YOU LIMP PRICK I'LL FUCKIN SMASH YA >HERE FOOKIN COMES MUMBWASA HE'S GONNA FUCKKING SCOOREEE >WOOAAAAHH...OHHHHHH >GOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA- >*Bottle smashes straight into Keith the Ledg's head and sends him down to the ground, several bulldog faced flabby men immediately start smashing eachothers heads into barstools and glassing eachother with ashtrays >TALKIN SHIT ABOUT NORF FC I'LL SMASH ALL YOU CUUUUNTTTTTSSS GAMEMBWE THE ANGEEEEL >GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL