POPE CLEMENT, I'M VIII

why is he holding an overripe banana

This can't be happening!
I'm in charge here!

It's a glove you twat.

>The divorce papers I just filed with the Church list me, my wife, Thomas Cranmer here, but only one, of you
>First one to annul my marriage gets to stay on my aircraft!

is it because they had really poor food preservation and transport technology back then so when henry sent for a banana it arrived all brown and moldy but he didn't want to give it up so he just walked around with it clutched in his stubby sausage fingers

Just excommunicate my shit up pham

best VIII joke on Veeky Forums thus far To Be Honest

Lotta loyalty for a hired irish mercenary

OR PERHAPS HE'S WONDERING WHY SOMEONE WOULD EXCOMMUNICATE A MAN BEFORE THROWING HIM OUT OF THE CATHOLIC CHURCH

kek

>The reformation I just filled with the Vatican lists me, my court, Bishop Cranmer here, but only one wife!
>First one to birth me a son gets to keep their head

jesus christ senpai

or perhaps he's wondering why you'd divorce a women without any just claim?

>She didn't breed so good, who wants to try next?

...

>Shotgun axe
What a fucking mall ninja, I bet this fat bastard had zombie apocalypse stickers on his horse.

My fucking sides

>Was starting a new religion part of your plan?

Would it hurt if I took away papal authority?

they expect one of us in the martyrdom brother

HAVE WE STARTED THE REFORM?

Yes. The heresy rises!

...

Nothing! I said nothing!

CRASHING THIS CHURCH

Why did he always wear that "pseudopenis", was he actually a big or was he compensating.

>First one to convert, get's to stay in my palace

Style of the time.

You have my permission to die.

He actually kinda looks like Pavel

...

...

>Apostle Iscariot, I'm SPQR

>Eh you don't get to bring disciples

...

>The crucifixion papers list the penitent thief, the impenitent thief, but only one of you

>First one the crowd picks gets to stay off my cross

>Senator Gnaeus, I'm SPQR
>he wasn't alone
>umm, you don't get to bring co-consuls
>he's not my co consul
>don't worry, no denarii for them
>and why would I want them?
>they were trying to install a tyrant, they work for the Inperator of the Gallic legions, the toga'd man
>Caesar?
>ave
>Get them on board, I'll call it in
>the law I just enacted in the senate lists me, my legionnaries, Senator Gnaeus here, but only one of you! First one to talk, gets to say on my chariot
>who payed you to usurp the republic?
>*stab* he didn't volare so good. Who wants to try next?
>tell me about Caesar, why does he want to become a tyrant? Lot of loyalty for a hired Samnite!
>or perhaps he's wondering why someone would declare a man enemy of Rome... Before leaving the city to him
>at least you can talk, who are you?
>it doesn't matter who we are, what matters is our plan
>no one cared who I was until I crossed the Rubicon
>if I stabbed you in the back multiple times would you die?
>et would be extremely tu brute
>you're a big consul
>IV VVVV
>was getting trapped at both Alesia and Pharsalus part of your plan?
>of course! Senator Gnaeus refused our offer in favor of the corrupt senate. We had to find out what he told you
>Nothing! I said nothing!
>well congratulations, you got yourself surrounded
>consul?
>now what's the next step of your master plan?
>seizing the republic
>WITH NO SURVIVORS

That's actually Tang Dynasty.

...